Confession Advice-Severe Anxiety and Panic Attacks (Am I Scrupulous?)

[KateKate22]

I really need some advice/help right now. I was brought into the Church (baptized and confirmed) privately in March right before everything shut down. My priest agreed to do it privately due to my severe anxiety disorder. I did go to confession one week after being baptized, but it really wasn’t too bad.

However, in the last 4 months that churches have been closed, I have had a really rough time during the whole COVID thing. I’ve utilized some really awful coping strategies, one of which included seriously giving up on God altogether. I have been making a list of things to bring to confession, and as of now, it is 37 items long full of sins against myself, others, and mainly, towards God. Things have been very rough and I committed some really awful sins.

Now that churches have re-opened, I find myself in the situation of turning back to God and needing to go to confession. Problem is, I am extremely nervous. After doing some research, I think I may be scrupulous. My priest is a great friend of mine and I’m just so scared. I have already emailed him to schedule a time, but I am just so anxious and afraid I won’t show up. I know that I need to be an adult, own up to my mistakes, and do it but I have panic attacks just thinking about doing it.

I honestly feel like my anxiety will get in the way and I just won’t go. I need help guys…

 

[Bill_B_NY]

There is nothing you could say to him that he hasn’t heard before. You are not confessing to him, but to God - think only of Jesus’ love and mercy towards you. The priest understands - he knows what you’re going through. Most of your sins were from weakness and fear and the struggle of life. You are a human being, not an angel. We all - all of us – sin. We all have to go to confession. Your sins seem terrible but they are nothing in God’s eyes - His mercy is infinite. Your sins are a drop of water in the ocean. Bring your sorrow to confession. Try to group your sins into major categories - pride (then give examples), disobedience to God (give examples, Infidelity - etc, or whatever you did. You don’t have to say all 37, Most were probably not mortal sins anyway.
Please remember, this beautiful sacrament will refresh and wash your soul with clean, living water. Strength from heaven will come into you – all the wrong doing will go away. It is a joyful time - do not be afraid at all! It’s something very good you are doing. God is very happy that you are doing this. Just stay with it.
Prayers for you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Scruples is typically when someone thinks they are sinning all the time and worries excessively about small things. It sounds more like you are just nervous of going to confession. If I am wrong about this, your priest will let you know when you talk to him. But your typical scrupulous person is more likely to be running to confession every other day, not being too nervous to go.

Many Catholics have anxiety about going to confession. Often it’s not even logical. I used to be terrified to go to confession like some people are afraid of giving a speech or flying (I don’t have any trouble with those things). The only way I got past it was to make myself go to confession a lot, as in a couple of times a month, so it becomes a habit, and not some big unusual thing. I realize you probably haven’t been able to go for a while due to COVID so it built up into a big deal. If you’re now permitted to go again, just make yourself go this time and then make yourself go like once a month till you get used to it. I will pray for you.