I was baptized and confirmed this Easter. Unfortunately, the RCIA program never covered things like how to go to confession or even when you should. Reading here, I came to the conclusion that I should go ASAP and found a nearby church that has confession at 7:30 am tomorrow.
I’ve never been to confession before. I have fairly severe social anxiety. And the Mass afterwards is in Latin - I’ve only ever been to English ones. What should I do? What can I expect?
Thank you,
Margaret
Firstly take a deep breath. Remember that the priest has almost literally heard it all in terms of sin, and secondly that he is human and goes to confession too, having sins of his own to deal with.
You walk into the confessional, kneel or sit as you choose, if a chair is provided, and start by saying ‘Bless me father, I have sinned, this is my first confession and I’m a bit nervous’. The priest will be prepared by this and will be ready to help you through if you need it. Everyone makes a first confession and everyone is nervous - I’ve gone regularly for a few years and still get nervous, so you’re not alone and you can get through it!
You might say ‘I have committed the following sins’, and briefly tell him the sins that you can recall having committed since Easter. You don’t need to go into a great amount of detail, and you only need to confess mortal sins (that is those sins that you were aware were considered serious by the Church at the time you committed them).
Each sin should be confessed ‘by number’, this only needs to be a rough estimate, so you can say ‘I did xyz five times/about half a dozen times/ about once a week since Easter’. When you are finished, say ‘for these and all the sins of my past life I am truly sorry’, so he knows you’re done.
The priest will ask extra questions if he needs to know more (please don’t be put off by this, it’s just so he can give you good advice or determine what penance might be best for you). He may give you some advice or comments, not all priests do, and he will most probably give you some sort of penance. He may tell you to say certain prayers, read a passage of scripture, do something nice for someone else etc etc. Although a penance isn’t compulsory either, it would be rare that he wouldn’t give you one.
He will most likely (again this isn’t necessary) ask you to say an Act of Contrition. There should be a printed card or sheet in the confessional that has the words, or you can use the traditional one (print this page or write it down if you want something to take with you):
" O my God, I am heartily sorry for
having offended you, and I detest
all my sins, because of Your just
punishments, but most of all because
they offend You, my God, who are
all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of
Your grace, to sin no more and to
avoid the near occasion of sin."
Or you can simply tell God that you are sorry for your sins and resolve to not sin again in your own words. If the priest doesn’t ask you to say the Act in the confessional make sure you say it outside.
He will say the words of absolution. He may do so WHILE you are saying your Act of Contrition. At the very least he must say ‘I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit’. And then he will dismiss you with words like ‘go in peace’ or something. You say thank you (it’s only polite) and leave.
As soon as possible you say or do your assigned penance, and that’s all there is to it.
As for Latin Mass - depends. Is it a TLM (extraordinary form, Tridentine or Gregorian) Mass, or is is an NO (novus ordo or Pauline Mass)?
