Confession confusion

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Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
 
AmberDale said:
Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
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Well the way I do it is;

First off, make a good examination of conscience. Begin by praying to the Holy Spirit, to help show you in what areas of your life, you have failed. A good way is to take the two commandments Jesus gave us, “love the Lord God with your whole heart, your whole strength and your whole soul. Then love your neighbor as yourself.” How did you fail to love God? Did you willfully and with full knowledge, disobey His commandments? Did you love your neighbor, as you should?

After, go into the confessional. Tell the priest its your first confession and he’ll give you some help.

For me, I begin with ;

"Bless me father for I confess to almighty God, and to you father, that I have sinned and these are my sins. It has been (x-time) since my last confession. In your case, its your first confession.

Then tell him what you were given in your examination of conscience.

Besure not to get into great detail about your sins, especially those of the flesh. You don’t want to be a source of temptation for your confessor. Don’t forget, he’s a human being with temptations too.

When you’ve finished telling your sins, just say, “Father thats all.”

He’ll give you some advice on how to avoid the sins you’ve committed, and then give you your penance, which usually consist of prayers, but it can vary. Then the priest will ask you to make and act of contrition. If you don’t know one, tell him, he probably has a card typed up that he’ll let you read from, or in some cases, he’ll let you take the card with you to memorise.

Either way, relax. The priest has heard sins greater than yours and he never reveals the sins of those who confess, under the threat of excommunication. Priest tell me, they don’t even remember the sins that are confessed to them.

I hope this helps!

God Bless
Jim
 
AmberDale said:
Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
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Jim’s verbage is slightly different than what I was taught and use but it is essentially the same thing.

You could just go if you want but…

Don’t they have a class on this at your church? I think that you should call them and see what they have. They might have booklets on it for you and the whole works. It would be a good idea to take a class and everything or go to a meeting so that you can fully understand what you are doing, the significance of it, and you can get all your questions answered.

That’s just my 2-cents.
Good Luck!
 
AmberDale said:
Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
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There are some excellent free CDs at www.catholicity.com (check out Healing and Holiness). Actually, all the CDs I’ve heard from there so far are wonderful! 🙂
 
AmberDale said:
Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
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Amber… I think the thing that stood out to me in your post is that you were received into the church without going to reconcilliation… wow, was there a reason?

Are you afraid of confession? If you are, don’t worry… almost all of us feel a twinge of apprehension about it… but the way you feel afterwards… well, there are no words adequate!!!

I am a cradle Catholic and I got away from going for many years because it was uncomfortable. When my kids were going through the sacraments, I wanted to be a good role model and started going. I have had some absolutely fabulous experiences… maybe even miraculous… involving reconciliation. My guide as to when to go is if I am resistant to the idea of going… I most likely need to go. We go as a family about 4 times a year but dh and I try to go more often. The most common times to go is during Lent and Advent, and most parishes have a service and then individual confession afterwards. I recommend going to these as a regular practice. But not for your first time. For your first time, I would recommend making an appointment with your pastor and let him know it is your first time. He will guide you through the process…
 
May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you all!

A good examination of our conscience, having sincere sorrow for our sins for having offended God Who is all Good and deserving of all our love, firm purpose of amending our lives, avoiding near occasion of sins, trust and gratitude in God’s infinite Mercy are very important in our daily lives and when we go to confession.

The following is a website that is helpful in making a good confession and examining our conscience well:

scborromeo.org/confess.htm

Before I go to confession, I always ask Our Blessed Mother and the Holy Spirit, to prepare our souls, to illuminate our conscience so we will come to the knowledge of Truth, and for our confessor, so they will know the state of our souls.

I just went to confession face to face with the priest today and I am so eternally grateful to God for His forgiveness, His endless mercy and the untold numerous graces that He bestows on souls when we go to confession. The more frequent we go to confession, the more we are able to overcome our sins through God’s grace.

God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!
 
Everyone here has said some really good things. I don’t think I can add to them but here is a page that helped me go to confession.

stmichaelcp.org/Sacraments_Reconciliationhowto.htm

If I’m not mistaken, you’re supposed to mention all the mortal sins you can think of (I looked these up and brought in a list on paper to read for him…there were a lot 😊) and any other sin, small or large, that you struggle with. I think that’s how it goes.
 
BlestOne said:
Amber… I think the thing that stood out to me in your post is that you were received into the church without going to reconcilliation… wow, was there a reason?
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The OP had not been baptised prior to joining the Catholic Church.
 
Oops, I just discovered that this thread is 2 years old. :o I’m sure that the OP has been to confession already by now.
 
Amber,
I know it is scary at first but you will feel so much better after you do it. I converted in 2006 and I was so nervous when I went in for my first confession. I felt so much at peace afterwards. I’m still relatively new at it and I still get nervous before I do it, but I ALWAYS feel better after it’s over. The deacon at my church once told me that there is nothing you can tell the priest that he hasn’t heard before…you haven’t invented any new sins, so relax.

I will pray for you.

Blessings

Melo
 
lak611 said:
The OP had not been baptised prior to joining the Catholic Church.
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Correct. Since I was never baptised then I didn’t have to go to confession. It was all washed away (and boy would there have been some doosies if I had to go) :o

Okay: How would I find a list of mortal sins? I thought those were things you knew you were doing wrong but did it anyway. And obviously adultery, murder, rape, those things are mortal sins.

I’m so embarrassed on this. 😊 I’m a faithful Catholic now and try very hard to do what’s right. But everyone has something to confess, right?

Is anger with another something you should confess? Is thinking bad thoughts about them something?
 
AmberDale said:
Correct.
Okay: How would I find a list of mortal sins? I thought those were things you knew you were doing wrong but did it anyway. And obviously adultery, murder, rape, those things are mortal sins.
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There is no list of mortal sins per se, because three conditions must be met for a sin to be mortal. It must be grave, done with full knowledge and consent( free will).

I just spoke to a theologian on this the other day. The three conditions are from St. Aquinas, but they are not necessarily infallible.

First off, the sin had to be committed freely. So as an example, a person who has a chemical imbalance in the brain, and we’re finding that this more common than not, who out of a fit of rage, yells at his wife for no good reason, my not have been acting freely and therefore did not commit mortal sin. However, a person who knows that going into a porn site is morally wrong and offensive to God, but decides to do it anyway, would commit a mortal sin.

The bottom line here is, you need to confess to your priest and if you have any questions, ask him.

Finding a good confessor is important. When you do, hang on to him for dear life!

Jim
 
AmberDale said:
Okay: How would I find a list of mortal sins? I thought those were things you knew you were doing wrong but did it anyway. And obviously adultery, murder, rape, those things are mortal sins.
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There’s a wonderful prayer book that contains the examination of conscience our priest recommended. It’s called the Handbook of Prayers, and it isn’t too expensive. My wife and I read, deliberate and pray over the examination before we go to confession. The book isn’t very expensive, and it’s small enough to carry with you everywhere.
AmberDale said:
I’m so embarrassed on this. 😊 I’m a faithful Catholic now and try very hard to do what’s right. But everyone has something to confess, right?
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While we’re all required to confess our mortal sins, there’s no prohibition against confessing venial sins as well. I go to confession at least every 6 weeks, even if I have no mortal sins to confess. Regardless of whether you’re confessing mortal or venial sins, you are still receiving graces from the sacrament.

Too, I find it helpful to confess my habitual venial sins, as my confessor always gives excellent advice on how to overcome them.
AmberDale said:
Is anger with another something you should confess? Is thinking bad thoughts about them something?
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If you’re ever in doubt about whether you should confess something, go ahead and confess it. Your priest will offer you guidance regarding whether it was a sin, and you’ll have the burden of worrying lifted from your conscience.

Remember that three conditions must be met in order for a sin to be considered mortal (the quote below is from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, emphasis is mine):
1857 For a *sin *to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”
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I pray that God will richly bless you through this sacrament!
 
Suggest getting a copy of Scott Hahn’s “Lord, Have Mercy”.

First, find your RCIA instructor and smack them upside the head with the book for leaving you wondering about this very important sacrament…

Then, read the book. In the back it has a good exam of concience, too 🙂
 
Amber… If anger is a problem then yes confess it… I spent an entire “session” in confession just on anger because it was becoming a problem for me… my priest had alot of good advice for me on that one.

I just learned a good one from Chesterton recently…
psychoanalysis is just confession without absolution.
 
AmberDale said:
Hi!! I’m a convert to the Faith, Easter of 05 😃 I’ve never been to confession, I was baptized as an adult.

I know it’s a sacrament that we should do and practice often. I just don’t know how to do it, or what to say/confess. What kinds of things do you have to go for?

I don’t want to know your personal confessions, just need help. :eek:
Click to expand...
You will probably get many good advices here about confession. Having been in the Church since 1980 I have been doing a great variety of confessions, various style, various theologies behind them. So don’t think it’s all a settled a stable matter. It is not.

These are my private ruminations on confession. First advice : make a good examination of conscience with the New Testament in front of you. Study how Jesus deals with sin. He does not particularize them. He always forgives a persons sins in the plural. It is very different from confession and penitence manuals from later times. Remember Jesus, forget the others.

Second advice: consider that in all areas of our life we fail. That is sin. The general failing. I usually tells my priest: Father I have sinned in all the usual ways again. He knows what I mean. Special mention can be given to murder, explicit adultery, explicit stealing, obvious lying, obvious hatred, obvious hurting another person or animal. Don’t indulge into tendencies, thoughts or desires. We all have those.

Third advice: love the Lord and his way of forgiving all sins in one instance. He is counting your blessings, not your sins.

Good luck !
 
One essential tool is a good examination of conscience. I particularly like this one by Father Robert Altier.

It’s quite thorough and breaks the sins down into mortal and venial, which many don’t, so it’s a good way to educate yourself as to the difference between mortal and venial sins. Don’t forget it’s an excellent practice to confess any recurrent or habitual venial sins you may have as well as the mortal.

Other than that, tell the priest it’s your first confession when you go in, usually he’ll be happy to give you a bit of guidance.
 
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