Confession Experience

[whichwaytogo47]

I was wondering something. I admitted my mortal sins of wrath and self-pleasure, but I realized after I drove away that I missed confessing about sins of detraction, calumny, and complaining / gossiping about others and honoring my father and mother (got defensive with my mom when she asked if I wore a mask). I am pretty sure that I only omitted venial sins and I didn’t deliberately withhold them from confession.

He mentioned honoring my wife but I did not mention it - I only mentioned picking fights with her friends, but omitted my mother, argggg. I mentioned struggling with being presumptuous - aka having a habit of committing sin and begging for forgiveness later, such as taking communion in an unworthy manner or behaving in an impulsive way (such as arguing with the friends) and than hoping to make good with it afterwards.

I mentioned about not putting God first, but I didn’t mention that I missed approximately 5 live-streams.

 

[Kima]

I´m certain that you have no need to worry as for your confession. What matters is your intent, which I suppose were to confess all your mortal sins and repent of them. There is truly no requirement to confess all your venial sins. Although, confessing habitual venial sins might be useful in ones spiritual life. The only requirement is that you don´t deliberately withhold any mortal sins, and that you desire to repent from your sins.

As for missing live-streams, that´s no sin. Some people benefit from live-streams, others don´t. And there is no obligation to follow up on them. If you didn´t pray or spend time with God at all, I´d say that would be more of a red flag with regards to not putting God first.

With regards to mortal sin there needs to be three requirements for a sin to be mortal. These are: grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent. According to St. Padre Pio, if you´re not 100% certain you committed a mortal sin → then you haven´t, because that would indicate that you didn´t have full knowledge.

It sounds to me that you might be struggling with scruples and thus you might obsess over sins, previous confessions, eg. Believe me, I´ve been there, done that. And if that´s the case for you, I´d definitely advice you to seek guidance from your priest (outside of confession too).

Edit: I explained what constitutes a mortal sin.

 

[DeniseNY]

You know, what you’re saying contradicts Catholic teaching and you’ve done this on several threads.

 

[DeniseNY]

This is incredibly disrespectful to Catholics. And against forum rules:

From the TOS:
Non-Catholics are welcome to participate but must be respectful of the faith of the Catholics participating on the board.

 

[Fauken]

I quote scripture… as you saw… I’ll let you decide on which of the two is not correct…

So when you cited Scripture, you’re just quoting it, but when Catholics cited Scripture, they misrepresent it. According to whom? You? On what authority?

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Whenever we speak with God alone in private prayer, the communication should be detailed and intimate. We are sharing ourselves with Someone who cares more about us than anyone else cares. As we confess our sins, in detail, we are acknowledging our appreciation for the breadth of His forgiveness. We are conversing with the only Person who not only knows our life struggles, failings, and intents, but who has the divine power to transform us into becoming more like Him.

As we acknowledge the details of our sin directly to God, we show Him that we have nothing to hide. We humbly admit that “everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” Hebrews 4:13. In our confession we look to the One who alone has the power to completely forgive us of our sins and make us whole and acceptable in His sight.

We need not fear God’s judgment. As we confess our sins, we know that Christ has already paid for them in full. He promises His forgiveness and the power to break sin’s control over us. Confessing the details of our sin to God is part of throwing off “everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” so that we can “run with perseverance the race marked out for us” Hebrews 12:1.

We can go to God directly with everything that is on our minds, confessing our sin honestly, and then know the freeing power of His forgiveness. Upon agreeing with God, we will find relief from guilty feelings and strengthen our walk as believers in Christ

You know, what you’re saying contradicts Catholic teaching and you’ve done this on several threads.

This is incredibly disrespectful to Catholics.

I don’t mean to “butt in” on this conversation, but I don’t see anything here that is disrespectful, or contradictory to Catholic teaching. As long as this kind of fearless, intimate conversation with Our Lord is followed up by confession and sacramental absolution, such reflection and meditation actually seems like a good thing. And of course a non-Catholic is not going to agree that confession to a priest is necessary.

I have made many such “confessions” to Our Blessed Lord in prayer, followed up by a short confession to the priest (they don’t want details, whereas Our Lord already knows the details and has all the time in the world for us) and grateful reception of absolution.

 

[Fauken]

Except he didn’t mean it in that way. If you read his other posts, you’ll see he’ll express opinions that aren’t Catholic teaching, such as prayers being directed only to the Trinity.

 

[stpurl]

Right. And the implication, as it was deliberately a ‘speaking to God” post and without any reference to the priest, and using the old cherry picked scripture, was that the OP should have just bypassed the priest entirely and known that his sin was forgiven without the need of Catholic sacraments, priests, etc. That’s what was disrespectful, the attempt to portray Catholic teaching as unnecessary and even ‘unScriptural”.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Except he didn’t mean it in that way. If you read his other posts, you’ll see he’ll express opinions that aren’t Catholic teaching, such as prayers being directed only to the Trinity.

I was just going by his words in this particular post. I’m not familiar with what he’s written in the past. I wouldn’t expect a Protestant to see auricular confession as necessary.

 

[otjm]

but I didn’t mention that I missed approximately 5 live-streams

You are not required to attend live streams. You are dispensed from attending Mass; live streams are an option provided to you.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

Thanks for all the replies. My wife and I do meal-time prayer, but I need to do a better job of taking time with the Lord every day.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

We can go to God directly with everything that is on our minds, confessing our sin honestly, and then know the freeing power of His forgiveness. Upon agreeing with God, we will find relief from guilty feelings and strengthen our walk as believers in Christ

Please stop derailing threads asking about Catholic teaching with your obviously non-Catholic responses.
The person is looking for a Catholic answer, not some Protestant response.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I was just going by his words in this particular post. I’m not familiar with what he’s written in the past. I wouldn’t expect a Protestant to see auricular confession as necessary.

We have a regular problem on here with Protestants responding to questions from a Protestant perspective, when the OP obviously posted seeking a Catholic answer.

The ol’ “You don’t have to go to confession, just go directly to God” response comes up frequently from Protestant posters in threads where Catholics are asking confession questions.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It sounds to me that you might be struggling with scruples and thus you might obsess over sins, previous confessions, eg. Believe me, I´ve been there, done that. And if that´s the case for you, I´d definitely advice you to seek guidance from your priest (outside of confession too).

I agree. OP, your post sounds scrupulous. Please consider discussing in person with a priest rather than posting threads, which may make your condition worse if you do have scruples.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

HomeschoolDad:

I was just going by his words in this particular post. I’m not familiar with what he’s written in the past. I wouldn’t expect a Protestant to see auricular confession as necessary.

We have a regular problem on here with Protestants responding to questions from a Protestant perspective, when the OP obviously posted seeking a Catholic answer.

The ol’ “You don’t have to go to confession, just go directly to God” response comes up frequently from Protestant posters in threads where Catholics are asking confession questions.

OK, I see what you mean. CAF tends to give non-Catholics a pretty wide berth, and perhaps that is as it should be — let them speak their mind, and then refute it with “Catholic answers”. In this respect, it reminds me of a 21st-century, largely lay “intellectually crowd-sourced” version of Fathers Rumble and Carty’s Radio Replies. But for the non-Catholic reader who comes here with an agenda, “I’m here to show all of you Catholics how wrong you are, and to rescue you from your error”, it’s not going to happen. I wouldn’t expect to go on “Lutheran Answers” or “Baptist Answers” and expect to bring readers to Catholicism.

 

[kapp19]

According to St. Padre Pio, if you´re not 100% certain you committed a mortal sin

Can you source this? It is interesting… but needs qualification (Alphonsus gives a similar directive but only to people with overly sensitive consciences).

but omitted my mother, argggg.

The Fourth Commandment, when broken in the strict sense, is worse than murder, and is a capital crime in the Mosaic law, just like murder, and adultery. A scene from “The Brothers Karamazov” comes to mind, when one of the sons curses his father Fyodor in a long screed. (Then later… well, the Fifth Commandment becomes relevant as well.)

committing sin and begging for forgiveness later

If you mean presuming upon God’s forgiveness before sinning, then that would be quite a serious thing.

taking communion in an unworthy manner

This too is serious if you are convinced you are in need of confession first, with certain exceptions of grave necessity.

But my guess is that you need to relax a bit.

-K

 

[whichwaytogo47]

Thanks Kapp. I think I have a general comprehension issue as someone who thinks differently but I struggle to understand when something is a lack of knowledge and when something is willful disobedience. I don’t know if being told by one person that something is a certain way that you are disobedient or if 100 people have to tell you and you acknowledge why it is important yet still choose to not follow it. In other words, does lack of comfort signal disobedience or is it the desire to do evil?

I do struggle with believing that any sin can be forgiven and thus sometimes feel tempted to commit the sin and ask for forgiveness later rather than to only repent of sin that occurred after the fact. Sometimes I do act as if the rules don’t apply to me, such as thinking that it’s a minor infraction to speed and/or cut in line. My understanding of repent is to confess that sin thereafter and attempt to turn away from that sin. By presumption, I mean I prefer to be the younger brother in the story of the prodigal son than to be the older brother who’s always the rule-follower. I feel like I tend to have to learn the hard way rather than simply observing good behavior. I feel like the rule-breaker because I’m curious as to how much a rule can be stretched before it becomes wrong and how long I remain in the right. In other words, I sometimes am not convinced of a rule until I truly understand why it’s an important one to comply with - struggle to simply trust that it’s important.

 

[kapp19]

Perhaps you are in fact too concentrated on “the rules,” somewhat contrary to your self-characterization as to the Prodigal Son… (The older brother, by the way, is not actually following the rules except in a material sense - he represents the Jews who just don’t “get it,” while the younger brother represents the Gentiles who are “coming to their senses.”)

Focus less on rules and more on people, and on God as Tri-Personal.

If you are really unsure about some “rule,” your plan could be to have 3 people in mind who are very holy and wise in your estimation, and whom you know well. At least 1 should be in a similar state of life (viz., married), and preferably they are all older than you. If you think 2 would say “don’t do it,” then don’t do it. If you think 2 would say, “It’s fine,” assume that it’s fine. This is a bit of a short-cut (the better thing is to read tons of authors and apply the principles of aequiprobabilism, and I recommend that if you can), but this can be a possible help.

 

[Kima]

Can you source this? It is interesting… but needs qualification (Alphonsus gives a similar directive but only to people with overly sensitive consciences).

A good Catholic friend of mine told me this, but I´m not sure where exactly he got it from. So unfortunately, I can´t source this.