Confession; I need advice please

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Joanne_ca

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I have been a Catholic all my life, but I am a devoted Catholic now.
I used to go to confession when I was young but I don’t think I really understood how important it is. As I grew up I sinned a lot and told myself, I’m not going to confession, I don’t believe in it. I know now that it was a cop-out, and that I was too embarassed to confess my sins. I still received Communion, because I felt I confessed to Jesus, so there was no problem. I know now, that what I did was wrong and I feel myself being pulled to go back to the sacrament of Confession. But how? It’s been thirty years, do I have to confess every sin? How do I get the courage to do this?
I know that Mary is the one pulling on me, but I need guidance.
Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks
 
The best advice is GO. Don’t worry about it. Walk into the confessional, tell the priest it has been a long time since you have been there and provided he is a good confessor, he will walk you through the process.

It is natural to be afraid to go back, but you will find once you do you will wonder what you were so afraid off.

If you are afraid you will forget sins, don’t worry. Before you go in sit for a few moments and examine your thoughts and think about your sins.

If you remember a mortal sin after you left the confessional, confess it next time.

If you feel concern about going to a priest you know, go to another church. Whatever your fear is, there is a way to overcome it.
 
In such a case, I would highly recommend not just walking up to a confessional and trying to tackle this. I would instead contact an orthodox/faithful priest you know and trust and explain the situation and ask for help with how to approach this. In my case, after returning to the church after 15 years away, the priest I worked with was more than happy to set up an appointment and meet me in his office in order to provide guidance (we actually celebrated the sacrament there).

A good place to start beyond that is to find a good examination of conscience and begin working through it (maybe even make some notes). Here is a good one I use that’s on-line …
frpat.com/examen.htm
…I don’t think they are going to ask you to enumerate sins in this case, but rather just general categories. Of course if there is something that particularly troubles you that you want to get off your chest, that’s always a good idea.

God Bless and good luck.
 
You’ve got two different points of view on what to do! I think either way is valid, as long as you do go to confession! I think I would probably take the first point of view and just go. The first time back is going to be difficult I’m sure, but the Priest will help you and make you glad you went. The weight you feel lifted when your sins are forgiven will be tremendous!

Just going to confession is probably where I’d start, but then I think it makes sense to follow the second bit of advice and schedule a meeting with a priest. Talk again about your long absence from confession if you still need to, but also use that as an opportunity to ask about locating a good spiritual director in your area. The spiritual director can be a great value to people, especially those who are serious about wanting to improve their spiritual lives.

God bless you!
 
There are a few reasons I don’t outright suggest making an appointment for the first time back with people that are scared.
  1. If the person really wants a confession with a screen, it isn’t always easy to get that when you do a “by appointment” confession.
  2. It allows the person to reflect as long as they want before they go in, without feeling like someone is waiting on them.
If making an appointment makes you feel more comfortable due to timing, not feeling guilty about taking too much time in line, etc. then make an appointment. If you want the privacy and spontaneity of going to a scheduled confession time, go.

But my first statement still is the most important. The best advice is to just GO.
 
I was one of those who hadn’t been forever. I just went, no appointment. I was 100% willing to confess everything, got started and thankfully didn’t have to go through every gory detail. What a wonderful gift the Sacrament of Reconciliation is!:love:
 
Keep praying for the strength to go until you go.

Ask everyone you know to pray for you and your confession.

Set your mind on going. Set up an appointment unless you have an monestary nearby with priests available almost any time, explain your situation when setting up the appointment. Make an outing out of it. You are getting all the garbage cleansed out of your soul. It is like being given a new car or new house, but much much better. Plan a celebration afterwards. :dancing:

Then go and open up totally. Bare your soul to your confessor and let Jesus cleanse you totally.

You are in my prayers.
 
Sometimes we are unable to remember a sin we committed. We forget.

Sometimes we redefine something to be not a sin in error. We redefine in error.

I always add to my confessions, after I finish listing the sins, the following line:

“I also confess whatever sins I have forgotten or have redefined in error.”

This keeps me from becoming scrupulous and thinking that my confessions are not good enough.
 
I went after 15 or so years of the exact same feelings you described…just go. No appt necessary. And if you forget one and remember it later, no problem, as it is already forgiven, as the priest will say “I forgive ALL of your sins”. My big fear too, was a huge penance involving money or voulnteer time, but it was nothing like that at all. I am going again Saturday. I can’t wait to be ‘clean’ again!
 
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BobCatholic:
Sometimes we redefine something to be not a sin in error. We redefine in error. I always add to my confessions, after I finish listing the sins, the following line:
“I also confess whatever sins I have forgotten or have redefined in error.”
This keeps me from becoming scrupulous and thinking that my confessions are not good enough.
Click to expand...
Wow, that is a good way to avoid scrupulosity :yup: and simple too!
All i would add to that is that we do have an obligation to find out if we are in fact redefining any sins in error; to form our conscience in obedience to the Church. I don’t see that as a scary thing though, more like the promise that we can always grow in the faith.:getholy:

May the Holy Spirit bless us all next time we go to Confession and show us how increase in holiness!
 
I would add one more thing. The thoughts about not going to confession that are bouncing around in your head are not coming from God. Keep in mind that the Father- of -All -Lies is committed to your destruction and would love for you not to go. Who benifits by you going? Who benifits by you not going? This is a great opportunity to make a stand against him.
Ms. Cilantro:blessyou:
 
Hello, God love ya! I had a similar experience, not as long but I sinned very much and very badly! I’ve heard stories of people waiting 30+ years before they go back to confession. Praise God you are going back. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Fr. John Corapi he has a similar story. You can get his FREE tape or CD at

www.catholicity.com
Just remember God loves you no matter what you’ve done and his mercy is there for you. Most likely you won’t confess anyting a priest has not heard MANY times before, so don’t be afraid. If I can confess some of the Evil thing I’ve done, so can you. God bless you1
 
Thank you everyone, your comments have helped me a great deal and I know I will muster up the courage to go. I will have to reflect on my sins (and there are many) and I will pray for help and guidance.
God bless you all
Joanne :tiphat:
 
Get up off the couch and GO!

with so many here pulling for you, how can you possibly go wrong!

Peace! 👍
 
Remember the Light of Mercy (right above the confessional) is not always lit. Seek the Lord while He may be Found. So when it is lit, take advantage of it.
 
I just entered the Church this past Easter. For my first confession I made an appointment with a priest that thought I would feel comfortable with, at least as comfortable as you can be in a situation like that. He made a little small talk with me at first, kind of getting to know me and where I was coming from, religiously. We sat facing each other face to face. I confessed things that I knew were definitely sins and he asked me if I ever done certain things and then gave me advice on what to do about persistent sins. I found this to be a good experience.

Just my opinion, but for your first confession or first in a long time, making an appointment will give you and the priest more time. Your parish may only offer confession for one hour a week and you may feel rushed if you go and there are 50 other people waiting to go to confession. Also, even though I don’t go to face to face confession now, I would recommend face to face for the first time. I think the priest was able to make me feel more comfortable that way.
 
  1. Pray for the Holy Spirit to illumine your conscience in order to recall all your past sins
  2. Make a list…write down all the sins that come to mind
  3. Pray for the courage to confess those sins
  4. Take the list with you into the confessional if you have to…I sure did! 😃
Dont be afraid or get upset if you recall OTHER sins from your past after you do! Write them down, get in your car and go and confess them ASAP!

It took me 3 or 4 separate confession periods in which the Lord “triggered” my memory…I think he knew if I was given “total recall” after all those years I would have freaked and not gone at all…he is MERCY… after like the 3rd time, I was like…"okay Lord…after what I confessed, you KNOW I will do so…just please give me full recollection this time, so I dont have to keep going back, I think the most dastardly ones were already stated! And I KNOW that if I could have seen the priests’ face his expression was kinda like THIS- :eek:
 
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