Confession or Counseling?

[Fizendell]

I’ve thought about this a lot lately, and it’s very encouraging to see so many posts lately about confession, and since this isn’t really in response to anyone in particular, I started a new thread.

Quick recap of me:
Revert after almost 20 years - made confession two and a half weeks ago and went again last Saturday.

I went again on Saturday because I had a few things brought to mind that I know I didn’t confess initially and he had told me to confess them if they came to mind. I had a few other things to mention too.

When I left the confessional, I was weeping and after prayer, I had that same wonderous feeling of freedom from sin that I had after my initial confession.

What’s interesting is that I find myself searching for more information on confession, examination of conscience, defining mortal and venial sin, etc.

I find I actually desire the Sacrament rather than fearing it - a complete 180 from childhood! It’s like I want to continuously feel that freedom from sin feeling and think that going to confession is the only way to get it. Has anyone else experienced this?

I wonder about this desire and think that perhaps it’s just counseling I need - someone to discuss the issues and how I end up doing that which I desire to NOT do (remembering the words of St. Paul!) and I think that taking time in confession might not be the way to go - especially considering the lines!

Finally - one other thought - for those of you who have a regular confessor:

Our traditional confessionals were converted so that you can be behind the screen or sit in a chair. Behind the screen, he doesn’t know for sure that it’s me - but in the chair, he would. It seems more like a conversation if I just sit. I know the kneeler behind the screen makes the red light go on, and I assume sitting in the chair would do the same. Does anyone have the option of kneeling before the priest?

Am I just getting to hung up on the kneeling during confession part? I never thought I would want a regular confessor and would always want the anonymity of the screen! I’m thinking this goes back to the confession or counseling question though.

I’m a little nervous about asking him about counseling because he is the pastor and the parish is large and I imagine that he doesn’t have time for individual counseling (and I work full time, so I’m thinking the schedules won’t mesh!)

I do have a therapist/psychologist that I could schedule time with although he has theological degrees, I’m fairly sure he isn’t Catholic, which may or may not matter.

Anyone have any thoughts?

 

[maryj]

anyone have any thoughts? I got a million of em!! first thought is this… you have long lines at your confessionals? PRAISE GOD. I went to my first Confession in 25 years yesterday. I am still high on the fact that I am a new person in Christ today. Face to face is the way to go if you haven’t been in sometime. Nothing like looking into the eyes of a priest to make you have courage. so speaking of being high… I almost feel like I’d like to go back to confession today and feel that all over again…kinda like a drug wasn’t it(I’ve been clean and sober for 19 months,so maybe not such a good thing to feel!!!) Rejoice…to desire a Sacrament is the work of the Holy Spirit. I say go as often as you feel the need. Speak to the priest, he is busy, but I can assure you that you will make him overjoyed to know how close you are feeling to God through this Sacrament. Aint it just something that we waited that long to feel this great. I wish everyone could feel this and pray they do. Praise God!

 

[Michael_Welter]

Confession is awesome, yes! It’s like taking a shower. Why would I go weeks or months without a shower? :whacky: I don’t think so! Besides, like all the sacraments, I recieve grace through confession.

If you feel you need counseling, that is great, but seek it first from a priest. If that’s not an option, go to a licensed Catholic counselor. Keep in mind that while counseling can be a big help, we don’t receive grace from it. So don’t use it as a replacement for confession.

In my parish, our confessionals have the screen and kneeler on one side, and face to face on the other side. Years ago, we had a pastor who locked teh face to face doors and wouldn’t allow them to be used. This was during the time when some priests were being accused of inappropriate sexual behaviour. Our pastor didn’t want to leave any room for such accusations. I understood, but it was sad.

 

[m134e5]

It is fine to get counseling from a priest, but keep in mind that other people may need to go to confession too, so try not to take too long if it’s during the regular confession time- especially don’t take too long during a communal penance service. Also, when people talk about what’s going in their life and start to cry, they tend to talk louder- be sure you don’t speak so loudly that you are overheard.

Michael

 

[demolitionman65]

I find I actually desire the Sacrament rather than fearing it - a complete 180 from childhood! :thumbsup:It’s like I want to continuously feel that freedom from sin feeling and think that going to confession is the only way to get it. Has anyone else experienced this?

I wonder about this desire and think that perhaps it’s just counseling I need - someone to discuss the issues and how I end up doing that which I desire to NOT do (remembering the words of St. Paul!) and I think that taking time in confession might not be the way to go - especially considering the lines!

No. The desire for confession has been placed by the Holy Spirit. Cherish it!!! Counseling is fine (I’m a counselor by training). Confession is better. Psychologists can’t reach the soul.

 

[Exporter]

This week my Church, Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church has confessions from 5 PM until 5:30 PM.

I entered the Church at about 5 PM yesterday. On the right side there were two priests hearing confessions in the confessionals. The line there had about 25 people waiting. On the other side of the Church the 68 year old Pastor was not in a confessional, he was in a chair outside the confessional. I saw one elderly man in a chair saying his confessional to the Pastor while he sat beside him.

I walked over near the Pastor to light a candle for a grand daughter. The Pastor motioned me to come to him, I went without a thought. When I was through he said," I will give you Absolution for these and all the other sins that you have forgotten.". I looked up to see him making the sign of the cross. The breath almost went out of me ! All I could say was Thank You Father, Thank You! There is something a little different about face to face confession, try it.

 

[mercygate]

Confession is confession; counseling is counseling; spiritual direction is spiritual direction.

If the priest you confess to seems to read you well, you might ask if he would be willing to be your regular confessor. To me, that is a good first step toward spiritual direction, although it is not the same thing. Or you might ask if he would be willing to see you at another time to explore the possibilityof spiritual direction. Be tentative. Don’t pressure him. You both deserve the opportunity to test the water. Pray that the Holy Spirit will lead you . . .

 

[Livnlove55]

Fizendell:

I wonder about this desire and think that perhaps it’s just counseling I need - someone to discuss the issues and how I end up doing that which I desire to NOT do (remembering the words of St. Paul!) and I think that taking time in confession might not be the way to go - especially considering the lines!

I’m a little nervous about asking him about counseling because he is the pastor and the parish is large and I imagine that he doesn’t have time for individual counseling (and I work full time, so I’m thinking the schedules won’t mesh!)

Anyone have any thoughts?

Yes, I do. What has happened to you is just glorious and I know exactly how you feel since I felt the same way after my first confession five weeks ago. Since I was covering almost 35 years of mortal sins in my first confession, I didn’t have time to discuss any venial sins, although I wanted to. I went back a week later to confess one venial sin in particular that was bothering me and as I entered the confessional I told the priest that I had liked it so much the first time that I came back for more. (Both times were face to face with the same priest, who is the pastor of my parish.)

Our parish is also very large, over 3300 families and we have two full-time priests, our pastor and his assistant pastor (plus our deacon and an auxilliary priest who presides at one Mass on Sundays.) As an RCIA candidate for the last seven months, I have been blessed to have gotten to know both our pastor and our assistant pastor quite well and I have found that they **always **seem to have the time to talk to me and answer any questions. I have made at least five appointments with my pastor in the last seven months in order to receive lengthier counseling on various issues and problems. Without exception, he was always delighted to make the appointment and never once made me feel that I was imposing on his time. I don’t know your pastor but if he is anything like mine I would strongly encourage you to feel free to talk to him about making an appointment for individual counseling. After all, he is your pastor and one of his pastoral responsibilites is to help those in his flock grow in Christ. I’m sure he would be more than happy to counsel you about your problems and share some of that wisdom and experience God has graciously given him.

I do suggest, however, that you do respect the time he gives you by coming prepared and knowing exactly what you want to discuss. If you do that the time will be more fruitful for both of you and you won’t feel like you are “wasting” his time rambling.

So, I say go for it and don’t be afraid. I think you are right in thinking that confession is not the time for a lengthy counseling session. If you want or need that, you really should make an appointment so you know he has reserved the time just for you. Oh, and even though he probably has regular “office hours”, I’m quite sure he would be willing to work with your schedule, too. As you know, priests do not work banker’s hours.
In His love,
Rhonda

 

[JimG]

Livnlove55:

Yes, I do. I think you are right in thinking that confession is not the time for a lengthy counseling session.

I agree that confession is not the time for a lengthy counseling session. Within the past week we had a penance service at our parish and many people attended. The regular hours for confession were also increased—one hour before weekday afternoon Masses on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of Holy Week.

On Tuesday I went to church about 15 minutes before Mass time. There was a long line at the confessional plus two priests were hearing confessions sitting at chairs in the sanctuary. The confessions went pretty quickly, and the start of Mass was only delayed by about 10 minutes. Obviously if everyone had desired counseling it could have taken another hour. They just needed to have their sins forgiven.