Confession Problem

[Mattjolley]

I’m struggling with confession.

I go, make my confession and say my penance, then I am able to recieve the Eucharist at the weekend.

However, after the weekend, I find myself always falling back into the very same sin I keep confessing, I think I have an addiction. I am now worried that I am always guilty of presumption, by having the mindset of sinning with the aim of going straight back to confession before the weekend, its as if I’m just going through the system just to be able to go to communion.

Basically I’m sick of falling back into this specific sin no matter how hard my resolve not to do it again. I do it with consent, my will is so weak and I just commit the sin then repeatedly do all week, clearly Im comitting presumption by repeating my sin until I go to confess. Let me get one thing straight, I always am sorry for doing it, I always feel guilty for offending my Heavenly Father, and when I’m in the confessional I really do not want to commit the sin again, but yet I always do it again and presume on his mercy. Is my confession always invalid even though I really do not desire to sin again? Its not like I go there thinking ‘Ill confess just to receive communion, but I can always sin and re-confess next week’.

What can I do? I’m off to confession tomorrow only 6 days after my last confession for the same sin. I will be on my knees and I will make my act of contrition, because I do regret offending God, but yet I still fall back into it. How can I strengthen my resolve, turn away and say a Rosary? Read some scripture? I feel so weak. Feel free to move if I’m in the wrong place!

Matt

 

[Spirithound]

What can I do? I’m off to confession tomorrow only 6 days after my last confession for the same sin. I will be on my knees and I will make my act of contrition, because I do regret offending God, but yet I still fall back into it. How can I strengthen my resolve, turn away and say a Rosary? Read some scripture? I feel so weak. Feel free to move if I’m in the wrong place!

God bless, Matt. The Rosary is very powerful for this type of thing. Ask your confessor for help, tell him that you really want to break the habit, and ask for advice. We’ve all been there, some of us are still there. I don’t think you’ve committed the sin of presumption though. But you could definitely ask the priest about that too.
Spirithound

 

[LilyM]

For one, Matt, don’t rely on turning away and saying a Rosary only when tempted. Pray in every season about those sins and faults you know you are most prone to.

But not in a despairing way - remember that God doesn’t want you to sin. He wants your victory over your sins even more than you do. So in your prayers express a trust in His love and His help rather than worrying about your own abilities.

Such prayers are especially effective, according to St Teresa of Avila, just after we receive the Eucharist, so take time then to both thank God for the gift of His sacraments and pray for the help and grace to resist sin.

And treat it as a ‘one day at a time’ project. The thought of being sinless for the rest of our lives is something we can’t comprehend, but the idea of not sinning TODAY is very helpful. Pray first thing when you wake up for the grace to be sinless today, as well as at any other idle moment during the day and just before you sleep. Doesn’t have to be a Rosary either - short prayers from the heart are just as effective.

Then examine your circumstances - see if you can find any patterns of thought or behaviour that lead you to your sin. In my case cutting down on tv and internet helped a lot - we receive all sorts of messages and signals from the media, mostly to our detriment.

 

[Mattjolley]

thanks!

I always thought I’m committing presumption because I carry on sinning once I’ve fallen back into it, whilst planning to go to confession. Surely continuing my sinning whilst relying on going to confesion is presumption?
Have I got the idea of presumption right or am I mixed up?

And, LilyM, I always try to thank God after Communion for his sacraments, especially Confession and the Eucharist, and I ask him for help to keep away from sin, through his grace, although I know its down to me, of course.
I just ask for him to give me strength. Then I always make sure to ask God for the eucharist to shine forth from me along with the message I read in scripture whenever it can to help those around me see Christ though my thought, word, and deed.

Matt

 

[jmcrae]

Have you discussed this with your Confessor? If not, it might be a good idea to ask his advice. Without knowing the specific nature of the Confession (and it’s absolutely none of our business) - I mean I doubt that you are repeatedly murdering people all week long, so it narrows it down to the sorts of things that one could do repeatedly without offending society in general and being stopped by force of law - we can’t really do much more than sympathize.

Your Confessor knows your struggles, and may have some experience of his own to draw upon, if only you ask him.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Try to go to the same priest if possible and confess fact-to-face if possible. This will make confessing the same sin regularly more awkward and that will be a motivating factor in helping you reduce the frequency of committing the sin.

 

[kristie_m]

Try to go to the same priest if possible and confess fact-to-face if possible. This will make confessing the same sin regularly more awkward and that will be a motivating factor in helping you reduce the frequency of committing the sin.

Good advice. I also would suggest trying to get to daily Mass if at all possible. I’ve found that if I commit a sin on Tuesday, and I’m attending Mass daily but can’t receive communion until after reconciliation on Saturday, that’s a pretty good motivator for me too. Doesn’t make the temptation go away, but it certainly did make me less inclined to follow through on it.

 

[scaron]

Boy O boy I am in a similar position, and maybe many of us are.

Here is something I think I have figured out, tho I cannot say I have figured out what it means in day to day life.

I think “spiritual Olympics” to avoid sin doesn’t work. I think the theory that I haven’t said enough rosary’s, fasted enough, spent enough time in Eucharistic adoration, etc, etc (and I’ve tried them all) is a false theory.

Here is why - I think it is impossible for us to overcome any habitual sin. I think that we get into the “spiritual Olympics” way of thinking, and when we fail, which I at least inevitably do), we think - I more day of fasting next week will do the trick - 1 more hour with the blessed sacrament, 5 more decades of the rosary, etc.

I think this doesn’t work, because in a real sense, these devotions become a kind of almost superstition - a talisman against the sins we are so afraid of and powerless in temptation. In the end, they might even go back to pride - I can do this, overcome this, by my own actions of devotion.

I think the only way to beat these sins is to say, “I can’t do it. Jesus, I trust in you”. Give it up to God, and ask Him to do it.

Then, return to prayer and devotion - not as your fight against sin, evil, and temptation, but just as a sign of love for God.

Don’t pray about overcoming sin, with Olympic fervor. Mention the request, and go straight to asking God for His love and to help increase your trust in Him.

My thoughts, anyway. I have thought and prayed about this for a long, long time. This is where I am with it.

 

[AHapka]

thanks!

I always thought I’m committing presumption because I carry on sinning once I’ve fallen back into it, whilst planning to go to confession. Surely continuing my sinning whilst relying on going to confesion is presumption?
Have I got the idea of presumption right or am I mixed up?
Matt

The reason you carry on doing it is because when you commit the sin you become a little weaker spiritually, and you don’t have the strength you had before to resist the sin.

You commit the sin of presumption when you think- right as you are commiting the sin- that you will bear no guilt for the sin, because you will simply go to confession and be cleared. Therefore you think you can sin with reckless abandon, for God will simply forgive anytime you ask. I don’t think this is you, however.

Obviously, we don’t know the exact state of your mind. However, I will say that I’ve been where you have been with certain sins of my own. What I found was that the desire to go to confession was the only way I knew of fighting the sin. When we feel lost and ensnared by sin, we think of how we can break free. Even when the sin is mastering us, we try to break free. We also know that the best way is confession. So even though the sin is reigning in us, we are planning on how to defeat the sin. We therefore plan to go to confession, not so that we can continue to sin, but so that Christ will defeat the sin within us.

In other words, I think you are not commiting the sin of presumption. What is actually happening is that you are lost in sin and trying to escape. Confession if your hope, so when you are lost in the sin, you want to go to confession because therein lies your hope in breaking the bonds that this sin has over you.

Your confessions sound valid, as you say that you don’t want to commit the sin again.

I would however, suggest that you tell your Priest exactly what you said to us during your next confession so that he can properly guide you.

 

[ROBIN97]

Boy O boy I am in a similar position, and maybe many of us are.

Here is something I think I have figured out, tho I cannot say I have figured out what it means in day to day life.

I think “spiritual Olympics” to avoid sin doesn’t work. I think the theory that I haven’t said enough rosary’s, fasted enough, spent enough time in Eucharistic adoration, etc, etc (and I’ve tried them all) is a false theory.

Here is why - I think it is impossible for us to overcome any habitual sin. I think that we get into the “spiritual Olympics” way of thinking, and when we fail, which I at least inevitably do), we think - I more day of fasting next week will do the trick - 1 more hour with the blessed sacrament, 5 more decades of the rosary, etc.

I think this doesn’t work, because in a real sense, these devotions become a kind of almost superstition - a talisman against the sins we are so afraid of and powerless in temptation. In the end, they might even go back to pride - I can do this, overcome this, by my own actions of devotion.

I think the only way to beat these sins is to say, “I can’t do it. Jesus, I trust in you”. Give it up to God, and ask Him to do it.

Then, return to prayer and devotion - not as your fight against sin, evil, and temptation, but just as a sign of love for God.

Don’t pray about overcoming sin, with Olympic fervor. Mention the request, and go straight to asking God for His love and to help increase your trust in Him.

My thoughts, anyway. I have thought and prayed about this for a long, long time. This is where I am with it.

 

[ROBIN97]

Boy O boy I am in a similar position, and maybe many of us are.

Here is something I think I have figured out, tho I cannot say I have figured out what it means in day to day life.

I think “spiritual Olympics” to avoid sin doesn’t work. I think the theory that I haven’t said enough rosary’s, fasted enough, spent enough time in Eucharistic adoration, etc, etc (and I’ve tried them all) is a false theory.

Here is why - I think it is impossible for us to overcome any habitual sin. I think that we get into the “spiritual Olympics” way of thinking, and when we fail, which I at least inevitably do), we think - I more day of fasting next week will do the trick - 1 more hour with the blessed sacrament, 5 more decades of the rosary, etc.
I think this doesn’t work, because in a real sense, these devotions become a
kind of almost superstition - a talisman against the sins we are so afraid of and powerless in temptation. In the end, they might even go back to pride - I can do this, overcome this, by my own actions of devotion.

I think the only way to beat these sins is to say, “I can’t do it. Jesus, I trust in you”. Give it up to God, and ask Him to do it.

Then, return to prayer and devotion - not as your fight against sin, evil, and temptation, but just as a sign of love for God.

Don’t pray about overcoming sin, with Olympic fervor. Mention the request, and go straight to asking God for His love and to help increase your trust in Him.

My thoughts, anyway. I have thought and prayed about this for a long, long time. This is where I am with it.

Scaron, you have it right. With a habitual thing like this you just have to turn it over to God. If you don’t it will undoubetly lead to hopelessness and dispair
leading to dropping confession, dropping mass, and dropping going to church all together. It happened to me and I loved the Church with a passion. I didn’t think I could ever overcome the problem. If you keep committing a mortal sin, what does that say about you? You are rarely in a state of grace so you can’t go to communion. Basically, that’s why we go to Church. To particiapate in receiving the Lord. You quickly become an outsider and just forget the whole thing. If a person goes to Mass just to listen to a sermon and sing a few hyms, then you might as well be a Protestant. It kept me out of the Church for nearly 40 years-sorrowfully. Saying Rosaries, daily confessions, walking on nails, wearing a hairshirt, or whipping yourself with knots in a leather flail - will not change anything. Asking for the Lords help and understanding will.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

A wise priest told me a long time ago;

“Until the reason to not sin becomes stronger than the desire, you will continue to repeat this sin.”

In other words, you don’t have full knowledge of the sin. You have the intellectual knowledge, but not the knowledge of the heart, and until you receive full knowledge, the reason for avoiding the sin will be weak and even at times illogical.

So, pray that God will give you the full knowledge of the seriousness of this sin, and thereby give you the full reason not to commit it. From my experience over time, reason will become stronger than the desire.

Of course, this is going to take detachment from self, because deep inside, you still desire to commit the sin.

Pray for the transforming grace, to help you through this, but always remember God’s mercy.

Jim