confession question

[Monica37]

Okay, I know it’s terrible but I really dread confession. I go when I feel I need to but sometimes I wait and refrain from Communion for weeks and sometimes longer, just because it’s so hard for me to go. Here’s the thing though, recently I was thinking about my old life (really bad history) and thought about some things I had done. I have been to confession many times since, but I can’t remember specifically confessing these things. the other thing is that I confessed a sin but not the number of times. I went back and told the priest that I didn’t say the number and he told me I didn’t have to give the number, just the sin. Now my priest always makes me give the number. So here’s the bottom line, do I go back and rehash all this again with my current priest or do I just accept that my prevoius confession was valid and I’m okay on the number issue. The sin I can’t remember confessing, I guess I have to go for that one, even though I have been absolved 'for all the sins I have forgotten"? I really did not think of that previous one and it was by no means intentional, there were just so many bad ones and that one was 20+ years ago.

What do ya’ll think?

 

[bilop]

Okay, I know it’s terrible but I really dread confession. I go when I feel I need to but sometimes I wait and refrain from Communion for weeks and sometimes longer, just because it’s so hard for me to go. Here’s the thing though, recently I was thinking about my old life (really bad history) and thought about some things I had done. I have been to confession many times since, but I can’t remember specifically confessing these things. the other thing is that I confessed a sin but not the number of times. I went back and told the priest that I didn’t say the number and he told me I didn’t have to give the number, just the sin. Now my priest always makes me give the number. So here’s the bottom line, do I go back and rehash all this again with my current priest or do I just accept that my prevoius confession was valid and I’m okay on the number issue. The sin I can’t remember confessing, I guess I have to go for that one, even though I have been absolved 'for all the sins I have forgotten"? I really did not think of that previous one and it was by no means intentional, there were just so many bad ones and that one was 20+ years ago.

What do ya’ll think?

As long as the omission was unintentional you were forgiven. Don’t worry. You should mention the sin in a future confession, as a sign of humility. You should also mention that you know you were absolved, so the priest doesn’t think you are scrupulous.

As far as number, some priests ask, some don’t. When confessing a long period of immoral behavior, it’s pretty much impossible. So, don’t worry too much.

Finally, try to go to confession monthly (more often if needed). The more you go, the more comfortable you’ll be. Also, the graces of the Sacrament will help you avid sin.

God Bless

 

[acadian]

I’ll echo bilop:

I went to confession several years ago after an absence of many years. I confessed a lot of serious things, but in my ignorance, I didn’t know I had to give numbers. I hope the priest would have asked, if he would have needed to know. For the most part, they were things that i had done, but was no longer doing. I haven’t felt the need to go back and attach numbers; he knew they were serious, he knew there were no numbers and didn’t ask, and he gave me absolution. I don’t think God is going to refuse forgiveness on a technicality. He certainly knew what was in my heart and that I wasn’t trying to take the easy way out.

On the remebered things: Several things came to my attention this summer. They were clear incidents from long ago I had never confessed, because I’d never really thought of them or thought of them as sinful. I knew that technically they were forgiven, but I figured I owed Jesus the ?_ (respect?, humility?) of asking forgiveness, just I would do for a friend I had offended, but hadn’t seen in a long time.

Don’t dread confession. I’m sure the anticipation is much worse than the actual confession. Think of the prodigal son. The lost sheep that Jesus goes in search of and the rejoicing in heaven over the sheep that has been found! Our priest told us “God loves to forgive!” We give to God those imperfect things in our life, and He takes them and returns them to us (in His own time and His own way) perfectly.

Peace.

 

[Nuance]

I don’t think God is going to refuse forgiveness on a technicality.

I think this is the salient point regarding a lot of confession related questions around here. Confession was made for us to receive absolution and is supposed to have a cathartic effect. If you continue to hang on to sins that God has absolved and forgotten, you are denying yourself the benefits of the sacrament. You know in your heart that you were sincere, penitent, and honest. Receive the absolution and recognize that even though you do not deserve it, it is a gift to you that you should accept.

 

[PJM]

Okay, I know it’s terrible but I really dread confession. I go when I feel I need to but sometimes I wait and refrain from Communion for weeks and sometimes longer, just because it’s so hard for me to go. Here’s the thing though, recently I was thinking about my old life (really bad history) and thought about some things I had done. I have been to confession many times since, but I can’t remember specifically confessing these things. the other thing is that I confessed a sin but not the number of times. I went back and told the priest that I didn’t say the number and he told me I didn’t have to give the number, just the sin. Now my priest always makes me give the number. So here’s the bottom line, do I go back and rehash all this again with my current priest or do I just accept that my prevoius confession was valid and I’m okay on the number issue. The sin I can’t remember confessing, I guess I have to go for that one, even though I have been absolved 'for all the sins I have forgotten"? I really did not think of that previous one and it was by no means intentional, there were just so many bad ones and that one was 20+ years ago.

What do ya’ll think?

Reply:

Great OP, thanks

There are alot of issues here.

As practcing Catholics we are to “Confess all of our Mortal sins.” Period? Yes and maybe.

Certainly we cannot intentionally omit any Mortal sins, nor may we demihish the number on purpose, or frame the Confession in a “better light” to make our task easier.

Having said this there exist the reality of the fact that we are far from perfect. If by accident we omit a grevious sin, or mistake the quanity, God reads our hearts and knows, and accepts our sincere efforts to Confess.

We can fool ourselves and others, but never God.

In order to make “a good Confession” we must honestly tell all our Mortal sins, and the circumstances (so father can suggest way’s to help us in the future); be truly sorry, and be serious in our sorrow for sinning, and then with God’s help to try not to sin in the same way again. But again, we are all sinners, and none of us is perfect.

As for the past sins, I would reccomend that you make an appointment with your priest and make a “General Confession,” letting father know that is what you wish to do. Likely he will ask you why, and you can share with him your uncertainity of having confessed ALL of your sins, ALL of the time. You could also do this at the regular scheduled time and place for your Parish Confessions. It will likely be one of the easiest Confessions you’ll ever make.

At this juncture father will either “excuse / forgive your past sins” or allow you to make your GENERAL confession. Don’t be afraid to ask father to walk you through it." That’s a task that God gave him!

One of the reasons for private Confession is that by design it is difficult. This difficulty is in part supposed to aid us in not sinning. Sometimes it works, often it does not. But it is common to most of us who Confess regullary.

One must be most humble and anxious to be reunited with Christ. It is never a good idea, to postpone Confession of Motoral Sins. We do not know when God is going to call us to final Judgement?

Additionally, we only make matters worse, by not receiveing our Blessed Lord in Holy Communion. The practice of frequent Mass and Holy Communion is the very BEST WAY to avoid sinning.

Never forget how much Jesus loves you. Not only did He die for YOU, but now He suffers even more. Think of it: our GOD, loves us so very much that He willingly assumes a Sacramental mantel of inadimate objects, so the we can CONSUME GOD, and He in turn can streghten us in our fight with Satan. What an awesome God we have:thumbsup:

Always do the right thing! God bless you, you can do it!!!

PJM m.c.

 

[muffinmojo]

As a convert, I was scared out of my wits when I started going to Confession, but as I go nearly every week it’s started to get much easier(maybe too easy). One thing I found that helps is saying what I’m going to say in my head over and over again, so I’m sure I don’t mess up or stumble. If I ‘rehearse’ I find I can just say it and get it out and it’s less embarassing. I go early, sit and pray, and remind myself ‘Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since my last Confession, I have done XYZ X times, ABC X times, etc etc’ and then when I get in the confessional it’s just bam, it comes out, and it’s done.

 

[Marian_Devotee]

I’d like to echo the other posters on here. Also, don’t be afraid to ask the priest for advice. God truly knows that you’re trying to become a better person, and the more often you examine your conscience, the better your confession will be, the more regularly you will go to confession, and the closer you become to perfect contrition.

 

[MySavior]

Is there a reason why I can’t go to God directly and ask for that forgiveness? Why must I go to a priest and do this?

I know in Acts 19:18 it says, "Many of those who had believed came forward, confessing and making their deeds known.

It doesn’t say anything about a priest here. Then I read in 1John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”

It doesn’t say anything about a priest here either.

 

[PJM]

Know what’s comming,

Now would be an excellent time to start praying.

And that’s not all.

MSN.com home page today is running an article on PE Obama, and what he plans to do to “religion.” It’s scary stuff and “A MUST read.”

Pray brethern, pray,

PJM m.c.

 

[nahbios]

Is there a reason why I can’t go to God directly and ask for that forgiveness? Why must I go to a priest and do this?

I know in Acts 19:18 it says, "Many of those who had believed came forward, confessing and making their deeds known.

It doesn’t say anything about a priest here. Then I read in 1John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”

It doesn’t say anything about a priest here either.

There is a good explanation here.

Part of it says this:

In the end, it is the divinely ordained teaching authority of the Church that assures me of the validity and necessity of the Christian Sacraments; especially that of Confession. The sacrament of reconcilliation (confession), the Church teaches, is the normative, necessary means by which a Christian receives the forgiveness of God. The efficacy of confession is derived from Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross, where he served as the divine substitute for our transgressions. Not only does the Church teach the need of regular confession, but the Bible also records Christ’s institution of the sacrament following his resurrection from the dead when he first appeared to the assembly of apostles (John 20:19-23):

On the evening of the first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

This moment, when Jesus breathed on his apostles, constituted both the institution of the Catholic ministerial priesthood and the sacrament of confession. Christ gave his first priests, the apostles, the authority to forgive and retain sins. It was his intention that all sin be forgiven though the Church by aural confession of sins to the priests. We should realize that in Holy Scripture God breathed on man only twice: once when he breathed life into the clay of earth to create man (Genesis 2:7) and the second time when he breathed the life of grace into his Church. Both instances were that of an intimate, riveting moment between God and man. It is clear that the ability to forgive and retain sin given to the apostles, requires that each of us (even to this day) confess our sins to the priests of the Church so that our sins can be forgiven or retained.

 

[jmcrae]

Okay, I know it’s terrible but I really dread confession.

I do, too. I hate the thought of having to go, and I dither and procrastinate, until finally I just decide that I have to go (I’m supposed to go every two weeks, but I usually end up going about once every six weeks or once every two months), and then I go, and then I come out of there thinking, “What was I so worried about?”

I hate going in there , but I love coming out. :extrahappy:

In order to make myself go, I just try to remind myself of how happy I’ll be to be forgiven of all my sins, and ready for a fresh start.

I also realize that at least part of my reluctance to go is a temptation from the Devil, because the last thing the Devil wants is for me to be forgiven of my sins, so then I just get mad at the Devil, and go to Confession just to get back at him.

 

[nahbios]

I have a confession question of my own, as it turns out. I went to confession a little over a week ago and I confessed the majority of what I thought were serious, even mortal sins. I still had one more type to confess (it was about showing a friend two music videos on YouTube which had been illegally uploaded by someone) but the priest asked me to say my Act of Contrition before I did. I never confessed the sin and the priest told me not to go to Confession again for a full month, since I can be scrupulous.

Adding to my worry is the fact that I’ve received Holy Communion twice between my Confession which I’m now worrying was not valid for forgiveness of any of my sins (since I kept back one sin - albeit unwillingly). I also feel that I might have received Holy Communion unworthily because I caused and allowed for arousal in my boyfriend.

What should I do next? There is a part of me that doubts that I’m in a state of mortal sin but a part of me that believes I am. I’m very sorry for having received Holy Communion unworthily, if I have done so. Should I refrain from receiving Holy Communion until my next Confession in about three weeks time?

I know that God does not send anyone to hell over a technicality, but then there must be a reason for so many rules concerning Confession and receiving Holy Communion.

Thanks in advance. I can be insufferable sometimes.

 

[nahbios]

I forgot to ask if anyone could help before Christmas so that I can receive Holy Communion (if I don’t need to confess). Thanks!

 

[jmcrae]

I forgot to ask if anyone could help before Christmas so that I can receive Holy Communion (if I don’t need to confess). Thanks!

These really are questions for your priest. If he won’t make time for you, find a different priest who will. Then, do whatever he tells you to do, and be at peace in your heart.

 

[PJM]

Okay, I know it’s terrible but I really dread confession. I go when I feel I need to but sometimes I wait and refrain from Communion for weeks and sometimes longer, just because it’s so hard for me to go. Here’s the thing though, recently I was thinking about my old life (really bad history) and thought about some things I had done. I have been to confession many times since, but I can’t remember specifically confessing these things. the other thing is that I confessed a sin but not the number of times. I went back and told the priest that I didn’t say the number and he told me I didn’t have to give the number, just the sin.

I’m not sure that most of us would admit that we dread going to Confession, but I don’t think anyone likes to do it. But God thought of that when He created the Sacrament. It should help us sin less often and less seriously.

We must Confess all of our Mortal sins, if this is an issue that you forgot some, simply discuss it with your Confessor.

Many Confessors when giving Absolutation say something to the effect of “I forgive you for these and all of your past sins,” knowing that that our minds are not always in sync with our hearts and our good ententions. If this has happend to you, so long as your ommission was not ententional, your covered. Thank God and continue to grow in holiness.

If you have a serious issue to deal with, pray for the strength to deal with it “head-on.” There are no new sins, and Jesus tells us Himself that there is “more joy in heaven over one REPENTANT sinner than 99 who have no need to repent.” Luke 15:7

We should always provide the circunstances and the frequency of our Mortal sins, as it will provide a clearer picture of our habits, and give the priest better guidence on how to help us correct our faults.

Priest too are human and may choose to make their “job” easier by not asking the quanity of our sins. This in no way effects a good and proper Confession or the validity of Absolutation. Leave the matter in God’s hands.

Know also that a favorite trick of Satan is to make us question our holiness and faithfulness.To keep us away from Jesus in the Eucharist!

Develope the good practice of going to Confession at least once EVERY month, and you’ll soon find “dread” replaced with a simple dislike. Make the commitment and just Do It!

God bless you and Merry Christmass!

PJM m.c.

 

[nahbios]

These really are questions for your priest. If he won’t make time for you, find a different priest who will. Then, do whatever he tells you to do, and be at peace in your heart.

Thanks for your help, jmcrae. I feel that trying to do the right thing is like walking along a tightrope sometimes.

 

[nahbios]

These really are questions for your priest. If he won’t make time for you, find a different priest who will. Then, do whatever he tells you to do, and be at peace in your heart.

Sorry to be coming back to this again. (I promise I’ll try to leave this thread alone after this!) I just wonder if I could still receive Holy Communion in the meantime, since I am in doubt about the gravity of the sin(s). (I also watched pieces of films today which were copied from rented video tapes years ago - and made a feeble attempt to stop my sisters from watching.)

 

[jmcrae]

Sorry to be coming back to this again. (I promise I’ll try to leave this thread alone after this!) I just wonder if I could still receive Holy Communion in the meantime, since I am in doubt about the gravity of the sin(s). …]

Seriously, this is a question for your priest.

I will be more plain: I do not need to know your sins. Please stop confessing your sins to me. I cannot advise you, other than to tell you to speak with your priest.