Confession Questions

[Curious]

I’ll try to break my questions down so they’re not a big run on paragraph.

1. It seems really hard to commit a mortal sin. Is there a list somewhere? I’ve seen a couple of decent ones on the internet mostly breaking them down in how each one violates one of the 10 commandments? Is that all?
2. What if you don’t commit a mortal sin? I know you can choose or choose not to confess venial sin, right? How often should you do that? How often is considered scrupulous?
3. I’m wringing my hands here. My parish priest recommends confession at least 4 times per year. Sort of seasonally I guess, and more if necessary. First confession wasn’t too bad: I’m 31 and had plenty to confess since I’ve never confessed before. What if I don’t have anything to say for “summer” confession?

Curious, the overly fretful

:banghead:

 

[blaskoman]

As a general rule, if I need it or not, I receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation once a month. As a sacrament, it brings you closer to Jesus by purifying your soul…from what I gather, you seem new to the faith. As a helpful recommendation, I would suggest you read the most recent Catholic Catechism. Reading this should open your eyes to possible sins you never knew existed. GL!

 

[LilyM]

The idea behind learning about the faith (including learning about things like sin) is that there’s never a point where you know it all.

It’s a bit like becoming a doctor or lawyer - you’re given general principles about medical or legal research, or approaching patients or clients, and then expected to apply those general principles on a case by case basis, to the law or medical knowledge as they stand from time to time.

The same with our faith - we have general principles which, once learned, can be applied to our behaviour on a case-by-case basis. That’s because human behaviour and our understanding of it goes through changes.

As one example, something like downloading copyrighted material off the internet is a situation unforeseen by the Apostles, or indeed anyone until very recent times.

However, we can apply general principles (for example that we should obey the laws of the land in all things that are not sinful, as St Paul bid us to be subject to authority) to this new situation and conclude that if it’s illegal to download, it’s sinful.

As another example, teachings on the issues of suicide or homosexuality have changed a little as our understanding of the causes of these has developed. Having a greater understanding of the huge psychic pressures and forces that produce on the one hand an attraction to persons of the same gender, and on the other hand the desire to end one’s own life, we are now inclined to a more gentle approach on these issues than in former times.

As to frequency of confession - while it is not strictly necessary if you haven’t committed a mortal sin, it’s certainly a fantastic help in cases where you have habitual venial sins as well. If you kept getting very frequent colds and flu, even if they weren’t serious in themselves, you’d go to the doctor anyway, I hope, because it’s an indication of an underlying trouble that a medical expert might be able to pick up on.

Most advice I’ve seen recommends at least once a month. And as someone who confesses three or four times a month on average, I’ve never ever been stuck for sins to confess, even if they all turn out to be venial.

As scripture says, the just man falls seven times a day, and if we say we have no sin we are liars and the truth is not in us, so if you’re ever examining your conscience for confession and find literally nothing wrong, then it’s safe to say you aren’t examining properly.

 

[Seatuck]

I’ll try to break my questions down so they’re not a big run on paragraph.

1. It seems really hard to commit a mortal sin. Is there a list somewhere? I’ve seen a couple of decent ones on the internet mostly breaking them down in how each one violates one of the 10 commandments? Is that all?

If you find it really hard to commit a mortal sin then God Bless you . I don’t find that to be true in my life or most Catholics I meet. You will never find an exhaustive list of mortal sins. Read the Catechism on sin if you haven’t. Study church teaching on a variety of subjects. Use those Examinations of Conscience to help you develop you own sense of sin further. I am using this one right now-

catholicparents.org/oxcart/examination.html

It is good to do an examination of conscience every night. Or at least several times a week. The more often we do it the more our concience will develop and let us know when we have something to experience contrition over.

1. What if you don’t commit a mortal sin? I know you can choose or choose not to confess venial sin, right? How often should you do that? How often is considered scrupulous?

While we are not obligated to bring our venial sins to confession we may. It is a good thing because when we can be fully forgiven of these sins, we learn humility and we can get advice on how to even eliminate those from our lives.

1. I’m wringing my hands here. My parish priest recommends confession at least 4 times per year. Sort of seasonally I guess, and more if necessary. First confession wasn’t too bad: I’m 31 and had plenty to confess since I’ve never confessed before. What if I don’t have anything to say for “summer” confession?

Curious, the overly fretful

:banghead:

I follow the same recommendation. Try working on character defects and see how you are doing and confess those. If you really don’t have anything then you really don’t have to go more than once a year. Even then you really only need to confess mortal sins but if we avoid going then it grows and we avoid more and next thing we know we haven’t been in years. At least that’s what happens for some Catholics.

 

[acadian]

Until about 2 or 3 years ago, I attended confession once every year or two. Then one of my sons asked me why we only go once a year. I had been toying with the idea of going more frequently, so since then, we have gone every 3 months or so - seasonally, like you say.

I thought I wouldn’t have any sins to confess, either. After all, I had a hard enough time coming up with them once a year. But I have found that going more often, I still have things to confess. Have you lied? Been impatient? Slacked off on prayer? Taken people for granted? Failed to see others as children of God? Been selfish? Gossipped? Hurt others by what you’ve said/done? Held on to resentments? Failed to trust God? Do you bring honor to God in all you think, say, and do? What is disturbing your “peace”?

Since then, I’ve gone from going every 3 months to every month to 6 weeks. I still haven’t run out of things to say. Sometimes, I will mention that the past ___ weeks have been pretty good, but it seems during those times, I’ve had time to reflect on things from my past and see them in a new light. Sometimes it’s just 2 or 3 small things. But there is always grace there to go on and avoid those things. Often I receive good advice and encouragement, too.

I, too, have found at this point in my life, that I’m not running around committing too many mortal sins. I sometimes baffled by people who claim that they are committing mortal sins all the time. Perhaps I don’t have a good grasp of it.

Things that I have found helpful in uncovering things that need to be mentioned: prayer before the Blessed Sacrament: “Lord, help me to see the things that I am not seeing. Things that you want to heal and to fix.” When I can, a few days before confession, I will do an examination of conscience in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. I will read through a guide, and take notes on a sticky note, as I go. I keep a journal, and sometimes I have found a great deal of things by going back and reading the journal with a critical eye.

Good luck!

 

[justagirl]

Many people fall to mortal sin, especially early on in spiritual development. It is wonderful if you can easily avoid mortal sin. Off the top of my head, here are some of the more common mortal sins: anger, masturbation, lust, detraction, drunkenness, missing Mass, receiving Communion in the state of sin, presuming on God’s mercy in Confession, neglecting prayer, putting yourself or another in an occasion of sin, and of course many more.

I go to confession about every two weeks, usually with venial sins only. Frequent confession helps people to pay attention to and thus avoid their sins, even small sins. We all sin. The pope goes to confession. Saints go to confession. You are right, though, that you can choose not to go to confession if you only have venial sins.

Many examinations of conscience are broken down by the 10 Commandments, but others are categorized by virtues or by the beatitudes. Those are just helpful tools of organization. Most sins can loosely fall under those categories.

You ask about scruples. A scrupulous person will want to go to confession frequently, but not everyone who goes to confession frequently is scrupulous. It has more to do with the individual person than the frequency of confession. It is possible to go to confession more than once a week and not be scrupulous. Scrupulous people are often scared that fleeting thoughts and honest mistakes are sins. Usually a priest will tell someone if they are being scrupulous. It is important for a scrupulous person to work with a regular confessor and follow his advice.

 

[puzzleannie]

it is much easier than most of us think, because it is not that hard to give our own pleasures, desires and priorities top rank over God’s will, and when it becomes standard operating procedure, sin becomes easier. It happens in 2 ways, one when venial sins become habitual, comfortable, we begin to justify them instead of confessing and battling them, then to defend them. This creates a hard shell that is the perfect growing medium for mortal sin.

The second is usually related to really grave sins that involve “lifestyle” choices, and we create elaborate rationales and even our own home-grown religion to justify them: contraception, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, exploiting our workers, systematic theft from employer or government. This is usually some situation that depends on denying the human dignity of a certain class of persons, and requires a lot of mental gymnastics, that warp our consciences until our sense of sin is damaged.

Once we have written off these habitual sins, and entered into a manner of living that requires us to keep up a facade that denies their sinful nature, any mortal sin, no matter how horrendous becomes possible.

Example: we are “in love” and planning to marry so we justify having sex. This of course entails use of contraception, since we are not ready to be parents. But we have to find a justification, as in everybody does it, we have to find out if we are compatible, which requires a conformity to secular (read demonic) standards, and rejection or deliberate ignorance of God’s law. Once this pattern is set in motion, and we have ready responses to every challenge of our thinking, any other sin becomes not only easier but almost fore-ordained. Because sex has become the one and only measure of our relationship, we set the stage for so many sins of marriage, the selfishness, the “I have to meet my needs” mentality, the “children are too expensive” mentality. Of course when we add receiving communion in this state, the various deceits and scandals that multiply, the web grows thicker and the lie grows bigger.

Then we fall into the “who am I to judge anyone else” mentality and not only condone the sins of others, but actively aid and abet them, adding another layer of sin. We then if we are charged with responsibility for the moral formation of others–our own children, other family members, our students, our fellow parishioners etc–teach our own ideas and justifications, rather than the objective truth, about morality. This adds an even deeper, grimmer layer of sin, the one Jesus condemns so forcefully, deliberately misleading others, especially the innocent.

 

[AHapka]

Off the top of my head, here are some of the more common mortal sins: anger, masturbation, lust, detraction, drunkenness, missing Mass, receiving Communion in the state of sin, presuming on God’s mercy in Confession, neglecting prayer, putting yourself or another in an occasion of sin, and of course many more.

Excessive anger is sinful. Anger in and of itself is not, and can be righteous. Jesus was angry and toppled tables over to prove it.

I would have to say that putting yourself in the occasion of sin is not a sin because of the definition of it, namely that you are in a situation where you are likely to sin. You have not sinned at that point. It’s unwise and dangerous, but you still haven’t chosen to sin yet. It’s just very likely that you will since it’s an area of weakness for you.

I will agree that it is probably a sin to put someone else in the occasion of sin (if you know about it), since you are leading them down a path likely to cause them to sin and you know it. I.E. taking an alcoholic to a bar.

To the OP: St. Pio once likened frequent confession to housecleaning, you stay on top of the dust. Frequent confession is like frequent housecleaning, you get it picked up while the messes are still small before they pile up into big ones.

 

[corsair]

To quote Proverbs 24:16 " For a just man shall fall seven times and shall rise again", which means, according to Fr.J. Fryar, English speaking Chaplin, Confraternity of St. Peter, FSSP, “that a just man falls seven times a day”. If this is true, then we certainly need to better understand how to make a good examination of conscience. Simple mathematics tells us that if we wait to make a quarterly Confession then we have at least 600+ sins. Granted probably most of those are not Mortal Sins, but lets face it I’ll bet more than one or two are Mortal.

There are several good sources to guide you in “how to make an Examination of Conscience”. Try an old 1962 Daily Missal.

Cheers

 

[marleelynn]

I’ll try to break my questions down so they’re not a big run on paragraph.

1. It seems really hard to commit a mortal sin. Is there a list somewhere? I’ve seen a couple of decent ones on the internet mostly breaking them down in how each one violates one of the 10 commandments? Is that all?
2. What if you don’t commit a mortal sin? I know you can choose or choose not to confess venial sin, right? How often should you do that? How often is considered scrupulous?
3. I’m wringing my hands here. My parish priest recommends confession at least 4 times per year. Sort of seasonally I guess, and more if necessary. First confession wasn’t too bad: I’m 31 and had plenty to confess since I’ve never confessed before. What if I don’t have anything to say for “summer” confession?

Curious, the overly fretful

:banghead:

My regular confessor suggested I go once a month (monthly confession is also once of my commitments as a “committed single person”). I usually don’t have any mortal sins to confess but if I have a sin that is questionable, either mortal or venial, I ask. Mortal sins are to be confessed

 

[jmcrae]

I’ll try to break my questions down so they’re not a big run on paragraph.

1. It seems really hard to commit a mortal sin. Is there a list somewhere? I’ve seen a couple of decent ones on the internet mostly breaking them down in how each one violates one of the 10 commandments? Is that all?

In some ways it seems hard, because it has to be grave matter, done freely and intentionally, with the knowledge that it is a wrong action. We normally don’t go around murdering people, or stealing huge sums of money, or sleeping with our neighbor’s spouse.

However, on the other hand, it can also be extremely easy to commit mortal sin - sassing back at a parent (the 4th Commandment), even though at the time you know perfectly well that you are offending your parent, and that it would be just as easy to say something pleasant.

Or, you hear a juicy bit of gossip, and you can’t wait to talk it over with your friends (8th commandment) even though you know perfectly well that the bit of gossip isn’t really true.

1. What if you don’t commit a mortal sin? I know you can choose or choose not to confess venial sin, right? How often should you do that?

If I have no mortal sins to confess, I confess my three worst venial sins, once a month. It’s really up to you, what’s comfortable for you. But if you are afraid of going to Confession, then don’t put it off - just go, before the Devil has time to talk you out of it.

1. I’m wringing my hands here. My parish priest recommends confession at least 4 times per year. Sort of seasonally I guess, and more if necessary. First confession wasn’t too bad: I’m 31 and had plenty to confess since I’ve never confessed before. What if I don’t have anything to say for “summer” confession?

Pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Somewhere in the Book of Proverbs it tells us that the righteous man sins seven times a day - how much more, then, us ordinary mortals?

 

[Curious]

Pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Somewhere in the Book of Proverbs it tells us that the righteous man sins seven times a day - how much more, then, us ordinary mortals?

I have, and I’ve found some trash laying around - I’m not sure if it’s necessarily mortal or not, but I’m going this Thursday. And if it turns out I’m laying it on too thick and too often, this priest seems the type of guy to let me know.

Thanks guys.

 

[Seatuck]

I have, and I’ve found some trash laying around - I’m not sure if it’s necessarily mortal or not, but I’m going this Thursday. And if it turns out I’m laying it on too thick and too often, this priest seems the type of guy to let me know.

Thanks guys.

A good confessor is a real treasure.

 

[SenorSalsa]

I’ll try to break my questions down so they’re not a big run on paragraph.

1. It seems really hard to commit a mortal sin. Is there a list somewhere? I’ve seen a couple of decent ones on the internet mostly breaking them down in how each one violates one of the 10 commandments? Is that all?
2. What if you don’t commit a mortal sin? I know you can choose or choose not to confess venial sin, right? How often should you do that? How often is considered scrupulous?
3. I’m wringing my hands here. My parish priest recommends confession at least 4 times per year. Sort of seasonally I guess, and more if necessary. First confession wasn’t too bad: I’m 31 and had plenty to confess since I’ve never confessed before. What if I don’t have anything to say for “summer” confession?

Curious, the overly fretful

:banghead:

Unfortunately, most examinations of conscience are simply lists based on the 10 commandments. I find these really unhelpful. Just because I haven’t violated the 3 examples they give of how to break commandment 4, doesn’t necessarily mean I haven’t sinned in that area.

A better, and yet to unfound by me, examination would actually walk through concepts rather than examples. What does it mean to sin. things of that nature.

You should confess venial sins whenever you go for a mortal sin, or for spiritual well-being, if you have gone a particularly long time without a mortal sin, but the venial ones are stacking up you should go. (even though they are technically forgiven at various points in the Mass, confession will give you special graces to overcome them)

To give you an idea, I go once a week. Two weeks max. It is generally the same things over and over again, but it helps, because you can start to see that, and fix it. It also makes the whole “number and kind” thing a lot easier to remember. I can count how many times I committed a sin over the last 7 days. Over the last 3 months, not as easy

 

[Tamsulosin]

Let me start by saying that I was glad that Curious asked these questions,for I was about to do the same thing.I needed a list to clarify points.
Yet,I find it is rather subjective sometimes to determine when a sin is mortal or not,and I am hesitant to go to communion.
For example going through the useful list from Father Rober Atelier ,which some poster let us know of, it says that to be a mortal sin,you must have an idea that it is a grave matter(not the exact quote though).
For example,after learning about Padre Alberto,the priest that was seen in bars and at the beach with a "girlfriend’,and feeling frustrated at seeing what is happening to my Church,I blurted out what could be called negative epithet about this priest.I even surprised myself,since it came out without previous thought, and I am not known for insulting anybody.I was just at home,not in front of strangers, but immediately realized It was wrong.Yet, I did not willed it ,just "happened"According to the list,this would be a mortal sin. My tongue was faster than my mind.I am always defending my church against family and friends,and this news was going to add munition to their arguments.That word was the daughter of frustration.
So the question is,should one go by what the conscience feels is wrong(natural law)?Sometime things are not completely white or black or independent of intention.
Confession times are so limited in days and hours that a lot of opportunities for communion are lost in the wait for clarification.Sometimes when in doubt I may err in going to communion anyways,till the next chance to confess.Am I wrong?Jesus did not ask at the last supper if everybody was 100% free of sin,He invited the Apostles to participate as they were.

 

[SenorSalsa]

Let me start by saying that I was glad that Curious asked these questions,for I was about to do the same thing.I needed a list to clarify points.
Yet,I find it is rather subjective sometimes to determine when a sin is mortal or not,and I am hesitant to go to communion.
For example going through the useful list from Father Rober Atelier ,which some poster let us know of, it says that to be a mortal sin,you must have an idea that it is a grave matter(not the exact quote though).
For example,after learning about Padre Alberto,the priest that was seen in bars and at the beach with a "girlfriend’,and feeling frustrated at seeing what is happening to my Church,I blurted out what could be called negative epithet about this priest.I even surprised myself,since it came out without previous thought, and I am not known for insulting anybody.I was just at home,not in front of strangers, but immediately realized It was wrong.Yet, I did not willed it ,just "happened"According to the list,this would be a mortal sin. My tongue was faster than my mind.I am always defending my church against family and friends,and this news was going to add munition to their arguments.That word was the daughter of frustration.
So the question is,should one go by what the conscience feels is wrong(natural law)?Sometime things are not completely white or black or independent of intention.
Confession times are so limited in days and hours that a lot of opportunities for communion are lost in the wait for clarification.Sometimes when in doubt I may err in going to communion anyways,till the next chance to confess.Am I wrong?Jesus did not ask at the last supper if everybody was 100% free of sin,He invited the Apostles to participate as they were.

According to your description, it would not be a mortal sin. This is clued by your phrases “I did not willed it[sic] it” and “My tongue was faster than my mind”.

For a sin to be mortal it must be
1)grave matter
2)full consent of will
3)full knowledge

2 and 3 basically mean the act must be voluntary, as described by St. Thomas Aquinas “an act freely proceeding from the will with full knowledge of the end as end”

So if the act didnt come freely from the will(inhibited by antecedent passsions is one example Thomas gives of how this can happen), and if you didnt have full knowledge of what you were doing, and why(end as end). Then both parts of the voluntary were diminished or destroyed.

Possibly still venial, as you still said it, but, based on your description, not mortal.

BTW, I highly suggest Thomas’ treatment of the voluntary in the Summa Theologica found here, especially articles 4-8, which deal with the ways that voluntary acts are impeded. A warning, it can be a hard read, so if you are having trouble, start with the “I answer that” section, as it will contain, obviously, his answer to the article’s question. If you still do not understand, you can read the objections and their replies, and then you can create a topic here, and I am sure someone could help