N
nsper7
Guest
Here is a question that has been bothering me for some time. When going to Confession, how much detail should someone go into about a given mortal sin (examples would be helpful)?
- Status
M
melinda_s
Guest
i’ve been told to just name the sin and how many times but sometimes a bit of detail helps like one time i confessed unforgiveness toward an x boyfriend who had stalked me i also mentioned the stalking i hope that helps you i’m a convert too and i’m still learning how to do this properly 
N
nsper7
Guest
What if one reason one does not want to go into a lot of detail is because they are embarrassed? Does that invalidate a Confession? What I mean is should one purposely give detail so that they do feel embarrassed or is that not really an issue?
M
melinda_s
Guest
going to confession isn’t about getting embarrassed you don’'t need to go into a lot of detail
and no it dosen’t invalidate it if he needs more info he will ask but sometimes it can help but that’s just me
S
savedbylove2009
Guest
peace be with all of you.the sacrament of reconcilliation is,i believe,is like all sacraments.a place where our Lord promises to meet us in power and presence.so in the confessional we are not confessing to a man but christ Himself!whether the priest hearing you is a holy man or not doesnt matter.because Jesus Himself is there.now we are all human. so if there are things that you would feel uncomfortable having your parish know about find another parish and go there for confession instead.Jesus will be happy to meet you there.also talk to others you know locally and ask if any have met apriest who has a great gift for allowing Jesus to work in this sacrament.you’re not alone in this type of struggle.you’ll be surprised to find that many have good advise about what they have done and where they have gone to find peace in this.remember most importantly though, that everytime you turn to look to the Lord he smiles.,happy that you want to be with Him!!!
L
Leonius
Guest
Name the type of sin and number of times.
So for example:
“I accuse my self of committing the sin of dishonesty 3 times, the sin of missing Mass 1 time, 2 sins of impurity, 1 sin of theft etc. etc.”
Confess your worst sin or chief fault first. If the priest wants extra info so that he can give you some advice he will ask.
So for example:
“I accuse my self of committing the sin of dishonesty 3 times, the sin of missing Mass 1 time, 2 sins of impurity, 1 sin of theft etc. etc.”
Confess your worst sin or chief fault first. If the priest wants extra info so that he can give you some advice he will ask.
L
Leonius
Guest
You should feel embarrassed that’s good, sin is shameful after all. As long as you exercise your willpower to go through with the confession anyway its not a problem. It doesn’t invalidate the confession on the contrary it is a sign of shame and modesty which helps us to have proper contrition which is necessary to make a good confession. As long as you confess the sin that is enough you don’t need to go into detail unless the priest asks, if the priest asks then obviously you have to be honest. God knows what it is you are confessing, as long as you do actually confess it that’s fine, if on the other hand you don’t mention it at all deliberately that would I believe invalidate the confession. If you just forget it that’s ok but you should confess it at your next confession, you are still absolved from it though as long as you do that.
F
FrDavid96
Guest
Here’s a good “rule of thumb”:
Ask yourself the question “if I say it in these words, would the well-informed average adult know what I mean by that?”
These questions usually have to do with sins against the 6th commandment, but let me make an analogy here.
If a person confesses to stealing ten dollars, and says “I stole ten dollars” the confessor certainly understands what that means. It’s not necessary to say “I stole ten dollars, and it was a five, four ones, and four quarters.” It is certainly not necessary to say “one of the quarters was a 1987 Philadelphia…” I hope you understand what I’m trying to get at here.
If the priest truly needs to know more details, he will ask, or he will otherwise indicate that more details are necessary.
Confessing in “kind and number” should not be taken to an extreme where the penitent goes into every minute detail. Perhaps in an established spiritual counselling situation, this might be appropriate, but for the “average” confession, simply stating the sin itself and the approximate frequency of the sin will suffice.
To reiterate, a good rule of thumb is to simply mention the sin using such words that the average well-informed adult will understand what you are saying. Don’t feel a need to add any more details than that.
A
Avery77
Guest
But how do you confess sins that you’re not sure how to categorize? I’ve done things I know are wrong, but I don’t know where they fit in (BTW, I’m a convert to be confirmed this April; haven’t yet made first confession because I’m confused as can be about it).
What if you were some punk kid who vandalized a cemetery? How do you confess that? It doesn’t fall under adultery, stealing, murder, etc.
And on the subject of adultery, Jesus says even lusting in one’s heart is adulterous, right? But how do you confess that? As lust or as an actual act of adultery?
RCIA has been great, but of little help so far in this area.
L
Leonius
Guest
You need to get a good examination of conscience, this is similar to the one I use and is the best I have found: Examination of Conscience
So you would say “one sin against the sixth commandment” for lustful thoughts.
F
FrDavid96
Guest
Don’t worry about “categorizing it” simply state what the sin is. Let the priest-confessor worry about what “category” that might come under–that’s his role after all, so you’re not omitting anything.
“I vandalzed a cemetery” If the priest needs more information (which just might be the case here) he’ll ask. The priest might ask “just what do you mean by that?” That’s what I’m talking about when I say that if he needs more details, he’ll ask.
Vandalism is a form of theft. It’s also a sin against the first commandment.
Those words are not to be taken too literally. “I had lustful thoughts” or “improper thoughts” or “I was impure in my thoughts” are all ways to confess that sin. To say “I committed adultery” would mean something much more serious, especially in the context of confession.
Hope that helps somewhat…
E
Elizabeth502
Guest
Leonius, “the sin of dishonesty” does not cover “kind” (category) explicitly enough, i.m.o. That could be a white lie or perjury resulting unjustly in a criminal conviction which might include the death penalty! Dishonesty also includes cheating, which could range from a school quiz to serious tax fraud.
Way too broad. I think Fr. David’s guidelines are a little more specific.
Note, however, that confession is an opportunity to avail oneself of spiritual growth in a positive way, not just the (nevertheless very important!) cleansing of specific sins. I read recently in a priest’s article that examining one’s sinfulness, in addition to individual sins, is what one should be looking to. That’s why it’s helpful to examine specific sin in light of capital sins (motivators). On EWTN on Friday, I believe, the priest saying Mass stressed the important factor of the twinning (my term) of sins with other sins. Excessive displays of anger are often linked with pride, etc. When we begin to examine why we do things, we get to the root of them faster and are more likely to begin to be conscious of that, and thus reduce (hopefully) their frequency.
Way too broad. I think Fr. David’s guidelines are a little more specific.
Note, however, that confession is an opportunity to avail oneself of spiritual growth in a positive way, not just the (nevertheless very important!) cleansing of specific sins. I read recently in a priest’s article that examining one’s sinfulness, in addition to individual sins, is what one should be looking to. That’s why it’s helpful to examine specific sin in light of capital sins (motivators). On EWTN on Friday, I believe, the priest saying Mass stressed the important factor of the twinning (my term) of sins with other sins. Excessive displays of anger are often linked with pride, etc. When we begin to examine why we do things, we get to the root of them faster and are more likely to begin to be conscious of that, and thus reduce (hopefully) their frequency.
A
Avery77
Guest
With the exception of murder, child abuse, and homosexual acts, I think I’ve done just about everything else on that list. And many of them on multiple occasions, over the course of many years. So you see my problem? I have years and years of horrendous behavior to account for. I don’t know how to do that, especially in the 5-10 minutes our priest says is the avg. length of a first confession. He must have a very optimistic view of the pre-converted lives of converts.
E
Elizabeth502
Guest
In your case I would make an individual separate appointment with a priest. He’ll help you through it. You need an unrushed opportunity for that, so that he can walk you through.
L
Leonius
Guest
Then you might want to make a special appointment, that way you take as long as you need without having to worry about holding anyone up, there is no set time for confessions though so don’t worry about the time just make sure you make as good as a confession as you can.
- Status