Confession

[The_Princess]

I am a 15 yr old girl who has (let’s face it) done a lot of bad things. I belong to the catholic church (Baptized and confirmed last year) yet I have never had to go to a proper confession. I really want to go, because I know theres a lot I need to be forgiven for. But I’m really scared to go to confession. I know, it seems irrational and child-like, but I’ve never had to go and tell someone all the things I’ve done wrong. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

 

[Lady_Marchmain]

When you go in, you will be saying to the priest, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. This is my FIRST confession.” You might want to add “ever” to get the point across to him. This takes off some of the pressure as you did not do all these “bad” things in the last 2 weeks. Also, keep in mind there is almost nothing a priest has not heard before.

Prepare ahead a little. Make a list, not to be obsessive, but to help you be mentally organized. Venial sins need not be mentioned, unless you wish. A list of kind and number is all, you don’t need to explain why, how it happened, etc. For example, “extramarital sex, I’m not sure exactly how often, but approximately once per week for about 8 months. Stealing $50, one time. Etc.”

This is all it is, an inventory or history of mortal (serious) sins, the priest looks at it objectively, he is not waiting to pounce, so try to see it that way also. Bring the paper with you if you think it will help.

You are now a Christian, so I am not sure this is technically necessary since Baptism took away sins, but due to your young age, a full confession will be super helpful to get you on the right track. You might tell the priest you were baptized recently and you want to do this confession to obtain its graces and help you overcome that past way of life.

Also, I’m assuming you know all the proper words, procedures, etc, for Confession. If not little booklets on Penance can be bought online, and knowing exactly the formula will also give you confidence. These books usually have guides to an examination of conscience as well.

Your feelings are not irrational and childlike. As a lifelong Catholic, I have the same feelings every time I go! Of course I have the experience to know it will all be OK and that I will feel better, and you will gain that confidence too.

You might ask a friend to go with you (Catholic or not) and wait in the pew while you go in. Going to the church with someone might take away some of the stress.

You are really showing great maturity and sincerity at the young age of 15 to realize you can benefit from this Sacrament. God bless you.

 

[Little_One0307]

Hi,

Excellent post given down below. I really cannot add anything to what has been said except this.

Remember that the priest stands in persona Christi, in the person of Christ. You are confessing your sins to Christ and bringing them to the priest so that Christ through the priest can forgive your sins through the Keys of the Church.

My SD has told me something that I would pass on to you. When the priest is giving the Words of Absolution, it is Christ’s hand that raises from the Cross and absolves you. This was such a powerful image that I see or think about it every time that I hear the words of absolution.

I have learned that yes before hand I am nervous and anxious, but believe me the peace, the peace that passes all understanding that is obtained in the Sacrament of Reconcillation is so worth going through those Pre-Confessional Jitters. I have never, by the grace of God, ever regretted going to Confession. I have always regretted in not going.

I know that some priests do not feel okay about someone bringing a list of sins to confess, but I find this most helpful to do, as I have a poor memory. It does help to eliminate some jitters. Just make sure you destroy the list afterwards.

 

[kimber_ella]

Hi Princess,

First off, I want to say way to go, you’re an amazing young woman to have such a strong desire to allow Christ more fully into your heart. I want to encourage you to go for it, even if it seems scary and makes you feel nervous. Priests have heard everything under the sun, and most importantly, are there to bring you closer to Christ, not to judge.

It is not irrational or child-like at all to be scared of confessing. Not one bit. I went to my first confession about 4 years ago when I became a practicing Catholic (I’m in my early 20’s), and was scared to confess my sins, super nervous, but the peace that came after was so overwhelming that it made me know that God really does love me and wants me to be close to him. I was awkward when I went in, but I told the priest right away that it was my first confession since I was little, and didn’t know exactly what to do, so he helped me along. Reconcilliation was what gave me to the strength to live the life Christ wanted for me. It’s a really amazing sacrament that allows God to pour grace into our hearts to give us strength to turn away from sin when we are tempted. Priests tend to give good real life advice too. I don’t know your priest, but any priest I’ve gone to has really helped me.

So, just do it! You just gotta do it… I’ll be praying for you.

 

[ZDHayden]

Hello, I’ve been a Catholic for a full year by now, so I may not have the experience of others who have posted. I do, however, go to Confession weekly if I can at all help it. I have this advice to offer:

First, if you EVER get a chance to go to Confession when the priest is a Father of Mercy (Their abbreviation is CPM)- take that chance. They are all excellent confessors, and I’d be willing to say the best in the Church.

Second, I find it helpful to pray to Mary, my Guardian Angel, and my Patron Saint before Confession, asking them to intercede that I may make an honest and holy Confession.

Third, if you say it is your first Confession, most priests will gladly help you.

After your first confession, get into the habit of going on a regular basis. Once a month is generally advised, although I have read that once a week was at one time the norm.

Remember, if you are in a state of mortal sin DO NOT receive the Eucharist at Mass. That is a grievous sin.

If you would like an excellent Examination of Conscience and Confession guide, the Fathers of Mercy offers them here. (At one time I considered joining the Fathers of Mercy, and, to be honest, haven’t entirely given it up, although I guess I should considering I am engaged. It is one of my favorite orders.) I wish you a fine and holy Confession, and hope it leads to a sanctity in life.

 

[paperbackwinter]

I’ve been Catholic all my life. I part of the generation that saw changes that were part of Vatican II. Probably means nothing to the original poster, but the point is that I was never instructed on what or how confession works. I guess I kind of know where the OP is coming from.

I went to a lot of general absolution services. None compared to the first time I went to a real confession. It hit me so hard that I had to pull over the car.

Here’s what you need to think about. You will feel wonderful afterward. Regardless of your sins, realize that when you go to confession, your sins are truly forgiven. You’ve reconciled yourself to God. This is a great gift and treat it like a gift.

Don’t be afraid; God’s mercy endures for ever.

 

[itslaylay]

Hello there
To be honest, I haven’t been to Confession since I went to a Catholic school about 4 years ago (my parents never go to Confession ) but we used to go as a class group once every semester. Sometimes I was a little nervous or had a hard time thinking of what to say, but the priest (who is very kind and a close friend of mine) helped me along the way
Even little things you can ask for forgiveness

God Bless :angel1: