I had this same problem in my parish. The DRE said that it wasn’t necessary to have Reconciliation prior to First Communion. On the contrary, Canon 914 of the 1983 Code of Canon Law, as well as article 1457 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church require all first Communicants to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to Eucharist.
In other Catholic Rites (i.e. non-Roman), first communion is given at the same time as Baptism (with the understanding that they are both sacraments of initiation), and confession is foregone since Baptism forgives all sins (and even the temporal punishments due them!). If your husband was baptised as well as confirmed, he would not have been required to receive reconciliation.
Hopefully this will help. I would like also to voice my encouragement that you will attend confession as soon as possible. It has been said that the two gateways into Heaven are the Altar and the Confessional. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a wonderful source of Grace that no one should deprive themselves of. It is a humbling experience to be sure, but you would not believe how cleansed you will feel once you receive absolution. Also, on a practical note, I encourage anyone to attempt to go to confession at least once a month, whether they “need” it or not, so that it is a familiar thing. If we commit a mortal sin, it is much more likely that we’ll be able to face confession if it’s something we do regularly.