Confessions

[WH1988]

Hello

As I am unfortunately constantly falling into mortal sins, I very often have to go to the Confession. Sometimes, 3 times/week. The problem is that in my home city (Oporto, Portugal) there are veeeery few places where you can get that sacrament.

There is only one church which has confessions at a time where I can actually go there. I just went there yesterday. But I found the priest extremely rude… and I am in the state of mortal sin again. Do I have to go to that church or can I search for other ones?

 

[nutmeg2005]

Saint John Bosco said to find a good confessor and keep going to him. A good confessor is that gives you spiritual guidance. Once you find someone who will give you guidance and prayer direction, keep him as your confessor. When my priest retired, we had to look for a new confessor, it took awhile, but we found one. I looked for someone to whom I could relate, who didn’t look as confession as a burden on him, and one who provided guidance.

Realize that we are human, and we do fall. However, the cross we carry is manageable in the eyes of God. We fall to get back up.

God’s Love,

Trey

 

[WH1988]

Saint John Bosco said to find a good confessor and keep going to him. A good confessor is that gives you spiritual guidance. Once you find someone who will give you guidance and prayer direction, keep him as your confessor. When my priest retired, we had to look for a new confessor, it took awhile, but we found one. I looked for someone to whom I could relate, who didn’t look as confession as a burden on him, and one who provided guidance.

Realize that we are human, and we do fall. However, the cross we carry is manageable in the eyes of God. We fall to get back up.

God’s Love,

Trey

I do have a spiritual director… in Lisbon (where I study). But when I come home on vacations I never know what to do.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

I do have a spiritual director… in Lisbon (where I study). But when I come home on vacations I never know what to do.

You don’t stay in contact with your director when you are home on vacations?

You don’t make plans for these periods so you do ‘know what to do’?

 

[Joannm]

You don’t stay in contact with your director when you are home on vacations?

You don’t make plans for these periods so you do ‘know what to do’?

My regular confessor (and SD) is out of the country for an extended period but we keep in touch by e-mail or phone, and it helps. I have yet to find a confessor in his absence that I am totally comfortable with. Maybe because I feel my regular confessor knows me so well that he really helps me to overcome sinful actions and ommissions. The last few times I have gone to confession with other priests I have found that they really didn’t understand what I was talking about and often there advice didn’t seem to fit my situation and I wasn’t about to go into long explainations. So I just confess my sins and then talk to my SD in Europe about it after (or before as even over 3,000 miles he confronted me with a sinful disposition that I was not really aware of).

 

[GemmaRose]

,The last few times I have gone to confession with other priests I have found that they really didn’t understand what I was talking about and often there advice didn’t seem to fit my situation and I wasn’t about to go into long explainations. So I just confess my sins and then talk to my SD in Europe about it after (or before as even over 3,000 miles he confronted me with a sinful disposition that I was not really aware of).

That is so true. When I go to someone who doesn’t know me, it’s more or less with the attitude of “God know what I’m talking about!” I think that as long as you confess the sin and are filled again which His grace, at least until you might find a better solution, then it’s okay because you can still speak on the phone or email your SD who can give you the advice that *you *need.

I’m in the States, my SD is in Canada, and my Confessor is a super busy priest who is a pastor without any other priests to help out and who is very difficult to schedule time with, so I can understand what you’re going through!
:yup:

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello

As I am unfortunately constantly falling into mortal sins, I very often have to go to the Confession. Sometimes, 3 times/week.
…
. Do I have to go to that church or can I search for other ones?

you can confess to any priest in any church, but having to confess 3 times a week indicates a possible problem with scrupulosity, and definitely a problem requiring spiritual direction regarding the habit that is causing you trouble. The classic spiritual advice for you is to find one good trusted confessor and stay with him, and follow his advice, and do not seek outside advice from internet forums, strangers, friends etc. there is a sticky on the spirituality forum regarding scrupulosity, with a link to helps and advice for that very real spiritual problem.

if you find yourself in a place where your regular confessor or SD is not available, make a simple confession to the nearest priest, just state your sins in kind and number, only those since your last confession, without the backstory.

 

[fodda23]

“I firmly resolve with the help of your grace to amend my life, to do penance, and to sin no more.”
What part of this promise didn’t you mean the last time you were at confession?
Perfection, of course is in heaven, and we are not angels, but like most people, we all could be more creative to distract ourselves with holy things and practical things. When you fell overwhelmed by temptation, you enter the great struggle, the ascesis the Early Church Fathers often wrote about. It is the struggle to avoid the near occasion of sin and to choose virtue. To avoid sin, we have to struggle more and more. Distract ourselves with good things like constructive, positive hobbies. Nobody promised us easy. The promise is eternal life and wow is it difficult. But it is our work of life.
Prayers.

 

[WH1988]

I have an huge problem with chastity. I guess being 19 and this being a new thing doesn’t help (I only became aware of the church teaching on these matters one year ago, and only understood them 6 months ago).

I don’t think I’m scrupulous. I really do sin a lot.

But fortunately I had a chat with my favourite Priest at my home city, I explained the situation and he encouraged me to talk/confess to him everytime I need,

 

[GemmaRose]

Dear WH1988,

19 is a difficult time of life with raging hormones etc. (even though there are still problems as one ages!). We must all thank and praise God that He knows our hearts, He knows that there are certain things that we don’t want to do but at times feel compelled to do, etc. There are really few times that all the conditions necessary for committing a mortal sin are fulfilled, and you have been blessed with a good priest who understands such matters and can help whenever you need.

Also, every time we confess, we receive grace which strengthens us to fight temptations.

We will never be perfect while we are on this earth, but, as I said, God knows our hearts. He can see not only our sins, but our desire not to commit them, and how hard we try to fight against them. That you are still so young and care enough about your faith to join in this forum, and to have found a priest to help you – God must be very pleased with you.

Just remember that He loves us, stains and all. After all, the Good Shepherd went looking for the straying sheep, not the 99 who had stayed put.

 

[mgy100]

Hello

As I am unfortunately constantly falling into mortal sins, I very often have to go to the Confession. Sometimes, 3 times/week. The problem is that in my home city (Oporto, Portugal) there are veeeery few places where you can get that sacrament.

There is only one church which has confessions at a time where I can actually go there. I just went there yesterday. But I found the priest extremely rude… and I am in the state of mortal sin again. Do I have to go to that church or can I search for other ones?

Maybe find a spiritual father who can work with you and help you to fight the battle against your sins.