Confirmation Material

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StSusanna

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Hi ya’ll. I’m considering teaching Confirmation to my daughter next year rather than send her to our local church. My reasons are not meant to be a reflection against our wonderful Parish or the youth leader, it is because I don’t care for the character of the kids that attend the program. I know them, I help prepare the teens for 1st Holy Communion and then send them off to our Youth Program for their Confirmation. Most of these kids are broken, don’t attend Mass, and have no idea why they are receiving these Sacraments except that they get a party at the end of it. Not to mention their foul language. My son just received his 1st Holy Communion and although his teacher was wonderful and definately somebody to rave about, the kids in the class taught him some interesting words and all about R rated movies. Lovely, yes? I plan to catechise #4 & #5 at home and already have the material, no questions there! My daughter already belongs to a different youth program, unfortunately not a Catholic one, but she has some wonderful debates defending our faith which she always walks away knowing she has stumped them. She enjoys these kids and the program very much. The kids are like minded (homeschooled, attend church regularly, community serving, conscervative parents that are still together), I know the leader and have been close friends with her for 10 years and the kids are in a safe environment. She attends daily Mass and sings on Sundays with the Music Ministry in our Parish. So the whole “community” thing doesn’t really wash with me.

That said… :rolleyes: I was wondering if anybody else has been in the same boat? And if so, what curriculum did you use? Did you like it? I am considering Fr. McBrides Catechism for Teenagers. Are you familiar with it? Is it Orthodox? I would appreciate your opinions on curriculum. Thanks.
 
the Teen Catechism by Fr. McBride is an excellent primary source, and his companion volume, Teen Guide to the Bible is a perfect go-with.

that being said, part of Confirmation preparation is learning to be part of the Christian community, taking one’s part in parish life, ministry, service and evangelization–which we are called to by our baptism.

difficult to do this when you separate yourself from the community, or are taught to consider yourself above the community. Being Catholics, that means the community is always going to include some people who don’t live up to our standards.

some reflection on last Sunday’s gospel is in order here. It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick. Could it be your children, benefitting from the firm grounding and guidance you have given them, are called to evangelize their peers?
 
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puzzleannie:
Being Catholics, that means the community is always going to include some people who don’t live up to our standards.

some reflection on last Sunday’s gospel is in order here. It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick. Could it be your children, benefitting from the firm grounding and guidance you have given them, are called to evangelize their peers?
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I hear what you are saying, and have thought patterns that match it. However, a few of the boys are loose with their bodies and mouths. I’ve had them in my class and told our DRE they shouldn’t receive Communion because they have no desire to follow our faith. In class, they would talk about the girls “they’ve done”. I would put a stop to it, but they would start up during other times. I finally got tired of it and asked for their dismissal, only to have them be in a different class so that they could still receive Communion. Some of these boys are not your typical teenagers. If it was something I thought she was ready to battle, I would place her in for Community’s Sake. But she still thinks all boys are nice and would never do anything unless they were married or non-believers. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she insists that I know nothing of “today’s boys”. No offense to boys, but I grew up with 5 brothers…I know what boys are capable of. Even if they are respectful, which I believe most are in that environment especially, there will still be a couple that may push the limits, and I won’t be there to protect her. These boys aren’t there to be evangelized to, they are there to score a good Catholic girl. So, I want to keep her away from it. Let me turn the foot around. What if she was able to bring back a few kids to their home church? A few of the kids in this other youth group (which is not associated with any church, but mainly protestants go there) have parents who left the Church. She’s talked with them and they are impressed that she knows so much. To the point that they actually have a better understanding of the R.C.
And also, she attends Mass with other kids from our church daily as well as sings on Sundays. Isn’t that teaching “being a part of a Community”? I don’t attend our womans meetings, but that doesn’t mean I’m not part of their community. I contribute when I can, lend a hand, teach in the church. That is what makes me part of their community, not joining their clubs. This sense of Community shouldn’t bind them to our Parish alone, it should reach out to the neighborhood, bringing our Parish Community to it. Show others our love in Christ. The other thought pattern is that a lot of protestants don’t realize that we love Jesus as our Savior. What an awsome opportunity to show them we do.
 
If I may ask - what are the ages of these children? In my experience, 1st Communion is usually received around age 7 or Second Grade. Confirmation in our Diocese is for High School Freshmen.

Are these kids perhaps converts at a later age?
 
KGalvan:
I hear what you are saying, and have thought patterns that match it. However, a few of the boys are loose with their bodies and mouths. I’ve had them in my class and told our DRE they shouldn’t receive Communion because they have no desire to follow our faith. In class, they would talk about the girls “they’ve done”. I would put a stop to it, but they would start up during other times. I finally got tired of it and asked for their dismissal, only to have them be in a different class so that they could still receive Communion. .
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this behavior constitutes sexual harrassment, and is not to be tolerated, by students or adults, under the bishop’s new guidelines. all dioceses have implemented these guidelines, and training for priests, employees and volunteers is mandated, and all of these, including your DRE and catechists have signed a code of ethics which states, among other things, that any student or adult exhibiting such behavior will be removed. Report this to your DRE in writing, with names, precises facts and dates. If she takes no action within 48 hours go to your pastor. If no satisfaction by the next class period, go to the Chancellor or Vicar General, or the individual appointed by your diocese to deal with these complaints. All parents should have been given that contact info. If there is no response this becomes a legal and civil matter.
 
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kage_ar:
If I may ask - what are the ages of these children? In my experience, 1st Communion is usually received around age 7 or Second Grade. Confirmation in our Diocese is for High School Freshmen.

Are these kids perhaps converts at a later age?
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I’m assuming you’re asking about the kids receiving their 1st Holy Communion as teenagers, no, they’re not converts. If only. Nope. Your are correct. 1st Communion training should begin at (dare I say, birth) age 7 - age of reason and understanding. However, these kids come from broken homes or homes that forgot to give religious training and usually Grandma finds out about it. Grandma then hauls these kids or gets mom to do it with guilt trips and thus they wind up in my class. Usually not knowing what Mass is, or even realizing they are (or could be if they gave their hearts to Jesus) Christians. In their minds, all protestants are Christian and Catholics are just Catholics (like the shoes they are wearing are Converse - just a label they give to the religion they were born into without thought of what is behind the name). A hit and miss spiritual situation. I always ask why they are here, we hold a discussion and I assign 8 weeks later an essay about why they are there. This way it helps remind them that they are there to learn and hopefully fall in love with Jesus, God our Father, the Holy Spirit, Mother Mary, all the angels and saints and our universal church. But generally speaking, I never see them again in Mass. I’m pretty sure most Catholic Churches have a class such as mine, so pray heartfully for these fallen families and their teachers. I literally cry (and have in front of them) over their attitudes towards the Church and Christ.
 
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puzzleannie:
this behavior constitutes sexual harrassment, and is not to be tolerated, by students or adults, under the bishop’s new guidelines. all dioceses have implemented these guidelines, and training for priests, employees and volunteers is mandated, and all of these, including your DRE and catechists have signed a code of ethics which states, among other things, that any student or adult exhibiting such behavior will be removed. Report this to your DRE in writing, with names, precises facts and dates. If she takes no action within 48 hours go to your pastor. If no satisfaction by the next class period, go to the Chancellor or Vicar General, or the individual appointed by your diocese to deal with these complaints. All parents should have been given that contact info. If there is no response this becomes a legal and civil matter.
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I always know I’m in the right place when good advice hits me between the eyes. Although there is nothing I can do about this at this point, I am better armed to deal with situations like this when I teach next year. I only verbally reported the situation last year, I now know I can and should have written the situation down in a formal manner. Although I have taught for many years, I only started teaching teenagers 2 years ago. My first class wasn’t bad, they were pretty typical teens, problems here or there, but nothing to the extent of what I faced last year. One of the problems we faced last year was a very, very ill DRE who has now resigned due to her increasingly poor health. With high hopes and loads of prayers, our new DRE will have the strength to deal with these type of situations according to the code of ethics. I know I signed a code of ethics, I just didn’t have the proper training to deal with kids that act like that. Adults I can handle, it blew me away that it was coming from the students. One situation I felt I handled very well and squashed very effectively any reoccurance, but the fact that this boy was just transferred to a different teacher when I reported the situation, ticked me off. Again, we had a substitute filling in for a very sick DRE, I doubt she knew what to do since she herself was a clerk in the church, not a teacher. I think she was doing the best she could with the last minute training she received, but unfortunately, that wasn’t enough and he is now receiving Communion with a thought or care in the world. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound judgemental. I know it is only God who knows his heart. I’m seeing only the hard surface.
 
Wow - dealing with this type of behavior in class without a DRE or Priest involved - you deserve a medal! We are blessed with a good - and though - DRE!

Praying that your new DRE will give you all the disciplinary support you need.
 
It is sad that the program is no good. That sounds like the program we have here at St. Bede. Mom and a good friend decided to have an othodox class using the Catechism and the Creed to discuss things… as well as the Bible. It was special to be able to learn so much!
 
My mother gave my sister and me (12 and 10 at the time) confirmation classes at home. We homeschooled so religion lessons were a part of our day already and all that was necessary was spending some time on what confirmation is. We used relevant sections in the catechism books that we already had - the Faith and Life series, “My Catholic Faith,” things like that.
 
KGalvan:
I One of the problems we faced last year was a very, very ill DRE who has now resigned due to her increasingly poor health. With high hopes and loads of prayers, our new DRE will have the strength to deal with these type of situations according to the code of ethics. .
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It is ultimately the responsibility of the pastor to ensure a safe environment for children in parish programs, and in the absence of a DRE or other catechetical leader, the report should be made immediately to him. the pastor and DRE, and bishop, are powerless to act with accurate, written complaints that contain the relevant details. As a catechist, you are also a mandatory reporter in most states if you observe or suspect abuse of a child, whether by a parent, family member, other adult, or peer.
 
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