Confirmation Sponsor/Court Marriage Question

[Its]

So, I recently got asked to be a confirmation sponsor. I quality right now. However, my fiancé and I are planning to get a court marriage right before the confirmation because of his military status. We are planning on getting married with the church after he comes back. Can I still do it, or should I postpone the court marriage and just wait for the church marriage?

 

[Irishmom2]

You should speak to a priest, but if you get the court wedding, you will already be married, so no church wedding is allowed, is my understanding.

 

[poche]

You are mistaken. In the case of a deployment I can see having a civil marriage and then having the sacramental wedding when he returns home. Of course tehre should not be cohabitation before the sacramental wedding.

 

[TheLittleLady]

You are correct. The couple would to through the convalidation process.

However, my fiancé and I are planning to get a court marriage right before the confirmation because of his military status. We are planning on getting married with the church after he comes back. Can I still do it, or should I postpone the court marriage and just wait for the church marriage?

Entering an irregular marriage (civil without the permission of the Church) is a sinful act. Planning on a sin, planning to live in that sinful state is also the sin of presumption.

I would talk to my pastor about having a small Church wedding. Then, you can plan a big party for later.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

However, my fiancé and I are planning to get a court marriage right before the confirmation because of his military status.

If this confirmation is months away, can you not find a priest who will marry you before the deployment?

 

[Horton]

To qualify as a confirmation sponsor one must be fully initiated in the Catholic Church, must be age 16 or above, must be in good standing with the Church and able to receive communion. If married the sponsor MUST be married in the Catholic Church. This is canon law.

If you plan to get married, why not get married in the Church to begin with?

 

[TC3033]

why not get married in the Church to begin with?

My guess would be the timing of his deployment vs. the timing on being able to finish all of the precana requirements. OP hasn’t returned to clarify as of yet.

I was in very near the same situation, if my deployment hadn’t been cancelled we may have gone with an initial civil wedding prior to deployment and a convalidation upon return.

 

[Horton]

The OP’s question has to do with being eligible to be a sponsor. If one is married outside the Church for any reason, even deployment, then she would not be able to be a sponsor.

 

[TC3033]

OK, I’ll extrapolate:

OP is looking at getting a civil marriage prior to her fiance’s deployment just prior to the confirmation “because of his military status” The question is: If she would still be eligible to be the sponsor. I think the consensus was no, but talk to a priest.

Now you asked a question:

If you plan to get married, why not get married in the Church to begin with?

To which my reply was, my guess is it has to do with the timing of his deployment and getting precana done. So, the inability of getting the “pre” work done prior to deploying…I was nearly in the same boat in 2003. We would have probably done a civil and convalitated when I got back. None the less OP has not come back to clarify.

Further, my advice to OP (in answering the 2nd question on putting off the wedding) would be to do what they can to be married prior to the deployment, hopefully in the church.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Pastors do often work with their parishioners on timing due to deployments. I’d advise our OP to make that call to her pastor tomorrow!

 

[TC3033]

I can understand that. In my situation I don’t think that was going to be an option. If it is for OP, then I’d work to get that done prior to deploying.

 

[Horton]

Thank you but your extrapolation was unnecessary. My question was to the OP.

 

[TC3033]

Ahh. As an open message board I threw out the common scenario many of us vets have run into… I guess my bad.