Confirmation

[Catholic_Dad]

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Greetings! May the peace of the Lord be with you always!

Our wonderful parish has a two year Confirmation program. My 16 year old daughter went through the first year, last year, and has informed my wife and me that she has no intention of completing the program or of being Confirmed. I was not only shocked by her decision but I am deeply saddened by it.

I wish I could make her go through Confirmation but I know it is her decision and it wouldn’t be if I made her do it. Any suggestions or comments on how to deal with this?

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Rob

 

[Hegesippus]

Catholic Dad:

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Greetings! May the peace of the Lord be with you always!

Our wonderful parish has a two year Confirmation program. My 16 year old daughter went through the first year, last year, and has informed my wife and me that she has no intention of completing the program or of being Confirmed. I was not only shocked by her decision but I am deeply saddened by it.

I wish I could make her go through Confirmation but I know it is her decision and it wouldn’t be if I made her do it. Any suggestions or comments on how to deal with this?

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Rob

I know i might be young, but i thought about this already, that if i had kids and they didnt desire the faith what am i supposed to do? And well a few scripture verses come to mind. The parable of the prodigal son i think is a good source of how you should handle your situation. In it you see that our Father does not force us to act against our own will, but he loves us so much he gives us the freedom to make our own choices. With the grace of good if we choose him the welcoming back of the lapsed son is a glorious event. Our Father in heaven loves us so much, but he does not force us to do anything against our will. Hope this can help a little

 

[KCT]

Have you talked to your pastor or director of the Confirmation program? Perhaps they have dealt w/ similar situations and could offer some suggestions. —KCT

 

[Fortiterinre]

I would have no hesitation in requiring that she attend the second year of the classes, without discussing now whether or not she will receive the sacrament. Sixteen is awfully young to “opt out” of religious training with no consequence. Teenagers are at a developmental stage where they are supposed to be “limit-testers,” but it does not follow that they should always succeed in eliminating the limits.

 

[Curtiss]

Hi Rob,

My suggestion is to have a good talk with your daughter to determine why she is against receiving Confirmation. Once you understand the issue, you can design a strategy to help her. It sounds to me like the problem may be a general issue with religion or a specific one with Catholocism. It may also be some silly easily addressed detail. Try to find out what’s going on and take it from there (with prayer).

God Bless you and her!

Keep the Faith!
Curtiss

 

[Thomas_More_1]

I also think it’s reasonable to say: “you have to go to the class, and you have to go to Mass with us. But if you don’t want to be confirmed, that is your choice and I will respect it.”

 

[puzzleannie]

You are within your rights to require that she continue attending classes–you would not let her drop out of high school if she did not like it. But in canon law you cannot require her to accept the sacrament of Confirmation. What you can do is make it clear to her that by not seeking Confirmation, she is not asserting that she is “not ready” rather she is flat out rejecting the faith in which she has been baptized, in which she receives our Lord in holy communion, and which was handed on to her as a precious gift by you her parents. Her rejection of the faith in this manner is similar in kind, if not in degree, with the rejection of the father expressed by the younger of the two sons in the gospel.

Please by all means let her talk freely about her objections to the class, the catechist, the program or any other aspects of the process. Hopefully she will move beyond “everybody hates me, the teacher is a dork, and I am not getting anything out of it” to tell you what is really wrong. she is probably also challenging you to express the depth of your faith in a way she can relate to and understand.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

puzzleannie:

You are within your rights to require that she continue attending classes–you would not let her drop out of high school if she did not like it. But in canon law you cannot require her to accept the sacrament of Confirmation. What you can do is make it clear to her that by not seeking Confirmation, she is not asserting that she is “not ready” rather she is flat out rejecting the faith in which she has been baptized, in which she receives our Lord in holy communion, and which was handed on to her as a precious gift by you her parents. Her rejection of the faith in this manner is similar in kind, if not in degree, with the rejection of the father expressed by the younger of the two sons in the gospel.

Please by all means let her talk freely about her objections to the class, the catechist, the program or any other aspects of the process. Hopefully she will move beyond “everybody hates me, the teacher is a dork, and I am not getting anything out of it” to tell you what is really wrong. she is probably also challenging you to express the depth of your faith in a way she can relate to and understand.

Brava, Annie!