Conflict with Husband over "Vacation"

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RedHead_Sue

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My husband’s sister is getting married in a few months and the non-Catholic wedding is being held on an island in the Grenadines. Since we haven’t had the money to go on vacation ourselves since we got married, his parents are not only paying our way to the wedding but for us to stay an additional 10 days as an “early” anniversary present.

I’ve checked and can find only one church on the island of Mustique and no indication that Mass is celebrated there. I’ve voiced my concerns to my husband but he says missing Mass for a couple of weeks is no big deal. He’s the head of the family, so I must submit to his decision. But I feel so wrong about missing Mass, not only for myself but my husband and children also.

I don’t know how to handle this. To me, this is the first truly bad decision he’s made since we got married 10 years ago.
 
Sue,

You can go talk to your priest and let him know the circumstances. There is dispensation for those who can’t attend mass. I’d say go ahead and go, but make sure you do something special for God on Sunday. Say a rosary, or some extra prayer together. But, at the very least go to the church you found when you get there and see if there is a mass…God may have already taken care of you!

John
 
Now here I thought if you were physically too far away to attend mass that was a valid exception. Is this really that you don’t want to go to the wedding? It seems odd that you mentioned that specifically.

-D
 
RedHead Sue:
I’ve checked and can find only one church on the island of Mustique and no indication that Mass is celebrated there.
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This thread brought a question to my mind.

I’ve heard that when you travel, you are bound by the rules of the Diocese and National Conference that you find yourself in. So if, for example, that diocese requires that you abstain from meat on Friday (as opposed to the US policy), then you are required to abstain from meat on Fridays.

So does that mean that Sue is expected to call the Diocese of Kingston to see what’s expected from her while she’s there?
 
Ooooh! If you don’t want to go, can I have your tickets? 😉

We honeymooned in Grenada, and visited the nearby Grenadine Islands. Grenada is one of the few largely Catholic English-speaking countries in the Caribbean. (St. Vincent and the Grenadines have more Anglicans and Methodists, due to their different colonial history.) Many times, local people told us, “God has blessed our land”. It’s true. The islands are clean, safe, and among the most beautiful places on earth.

If you can arrange to spend at least one Sunday on an island with a Mass, try to do so. We found it to be a great experience. The people were dressed in their Sunday best (hats and dresses for the ladies, collared shirts for the men) and they participated in the liturgy with enthusiasm. Then they packed up and spent the rest of the day at the beach. What a wonderful idea! 🙂

Here’s some contact information for local priests in the Grenadines…I’m sure they’d be happy to tell you if there’s a Mass you can get to.

catholiccaribbean.org/articles.asp?id=248

(On Grand Anse beach in Grenada, we were even approached by a Christian beach musician! He sang, “Now that you have found your vocation, You take a nice vacation…” Needless to say, we gave him some change. 😃 )
 
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oceanstar:
BTW, Kingstown - capital of St. Vincent and the Grenadines - has one of the most unusual looking Catholic cathedrals I’ve ever seen. It was built in 1823, and it’s…well…eclectic.
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I agree! It looks so old.

I don’t know how far Mustique is from St. Vincent or Grenada. I know we’re flying by chartered plane to the island. My in-laws are handling all of the traveling arrangements.

I’m looking into how much it would be to get a plane or boat back to a larger island so I can attend at least one Mass. I’m worried if we don’t attend, it’ll be setting a bad example for the kids, like “it’s okay to miss Mass if you’re on a tropical beach.”
 
You could try to catch the Daily Mass on EWTN. They’re also on shortwave radio world-wide. Something to consider…
 
RedHead Sue:
My husband’s sister is getting married in a few months and the non-Catholic wedding is being held on an island in the Grenadines. Since we haven’t had the money to go on vacation ourselves since we got married, his parents are not only paying our way to the wedding but for us to stay an additional 10 days as an “early” anniversary present.

I’ve checked and can find only one church on the island of Mustique and no indication that Mass is celebrated there. I’ve voiced my concerns to my husband but he says missing Mass for a couple of weeks is no big deal. He’s the head of the family, so I must submit to his decision. But I feel so wrong about missing Mass, not only for myself but my husband and children also.

I don’t know how to handle this. To me, this is the first truly bad decision he’s made since we got married 10 years ago.
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You are not obligated to attend Mass when none is available. If you cannot find a church once you are there, then pray the Rosary or some other prayer together.
 
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Catholic2003:
Based on this Ask An Apologist question on “Missing Mass”, it appears you are being scrupulous:
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While this is true I would still clarify this with my parish priest. While “Ask An Apologist” is a great resource, IMHO, it should only be used for very general answers as really they have no authority in their answers.
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Timidity:
This thread brought a question to my mind.

I’ve heard that when you travel, you are bound by the rules of the Diocese and National Conference that you find yourself in. So if, for example, that diocese requires that you abstain from meat on Friday (as opposed to the US policy), then you are required to abstain from meat on Fridays.
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I do not believe this to be so, you are under the jurisdiction of the bishop whose diocese you live in, not where you travel. At least this is now I understand it to work.
 
RedHead Sue:
I’m worried if we don’t attend, it’ll be setting a bad example for the kids, like “it’s okay to miss Mass if you’re on a tropical beach.”
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But there are valid reasons for missing Mass, and missing Mass on one Sunday in ten years in order to enjoy one of the most beautiful places in God’s creation and to spend some absolutely uninterrupted time with your spouse is one of them.

It is wrong to teach your kids in black and white, as if they cannot understand that to be given an inch is no excuse not to take a mile. If they do, you have time to set them straight on that, before they go out on their own… it’s just part of forming their consciences.

But… if you can find a Mass to attend in such a splendid setting, I’m sure it will be well worth the effort, as it may well be one of your fondest memories of the trip. Good luck!
 
Instead of or better yet in addition to the Rosary, I would be sure you have a bible and a list of the weekly readings. You can spend a half hour reflecting on the readings and Gospel. There is nothing wrong with missing Mass when there is none available and I certainly wouldn’t miss an opportunity you have based on missing a Mass.

Some posted there may be an opportunity on another nearby island. That sounds like fun. I would at least try to attend one mass (if even during the week) while there.

Enjoy!
 
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