Confused about Catholic-Protestant Relationship

[genealogist]

Mixed marriages are very difficult. They should always be avoided if at all possible. I know from 15 years experience. It is not fair to either spouse.

The one thing I would like to point out is that as a Catholic in a mixed marriage I have the SAME expectations and obligations from the Church to attend Sunday Mass and baptize and raise the children Catholic. The paper I signed is a more tangible reminder for me and my then fiancee that this obligation is real and not going to be watered down like our DNA would be. The kids have two parents, 4 grandparents but only ONE religion. Catholic couples have the SAME obligation to baptize and raise their kids Catholic WITHOUT signing a paper.

Going to church twice a week is a HUGE commitment and I don’t know any mixed couple that does that. Add kids to the mix and there is no way to get to Mass on Saturday and a service on Sunday without a major revolt.We did that the first Sunday of Advent and that was not fun. My 2nd grader hollered up a storm.

It is recommended to have this issue resolved before the children arrive for good reason. Will the child be baptized as an infant? If no then right away she is not Catholic nor Christian from our perspective.

I wish there were more ways to highlight the idea that the glass is 3/4 full instead of 1/4 empty in ecumenical relations but coming from a very serious Catholic who tried for several years, it is near impossible. NO ONE else is even coming close to doing both. I have been privy to many less than polite characterizations about Catholics and “you know how they are” comments. It is not considered by either church community that a non-member might be at a function or a Bible study with his spouse.

The best one can hope for is a mutual respect and an honest agreement that can not be unilaterally changed by you or him. The obligation to raise the children Catholic is with the understanding that it is to the best of his ability. That is a different standard for each Catholic. In my case I am the one who is more concerned with weekly Mass attendance. If they were not Catholic I would be driving them to a worship service that is not my own and enrolling them in Sunday school. That is no realistic. Either I will take the to church weekly or they would go more infrequently. I can’t honestly assess how much they would go but 30/52 weeks would be a best case scenario. I would violate my best effort if I caved. Others have a lesser standard but no one should marry with idea of how little do I have to put in or give up.

Best wishes to you but there must be a hundred decent Protestant men out there to marry. Your marital bedroom is the worst place to have a mission field.

 

[Alix1912]

That’s the beauty of a free country. We all get to have an opinion, and on a public message board we all get to tell everyone what our opinion is.

She is free to take it or leave it, as are you. I know you don’t like hearing that mixed marriages are a bad idea. But, they are and I won’t stop saying it when people ask.

That is the beauty of a free country. It also allows me to say that you are a mean jerk, and because of people like you and the treatment they have dished out to me, my kids are going to be raised Lutheran. I never want them picking up your intolerant attittude towards people who don’t think exactly like you.

It is so funny, because since encoutering people like you my respect and admiration of the Catholic Church as seriously diminished. The Catholic friends I knew as a child and young adult were such beautiul examples of faith and love, and what it truly means to find peace in Christ. The people I have encountered in the last year, are mean, petty and condisending, and set poor example for everyone else. Ironically it really is not the doctrine, but the pompous jerks like you that drive most people away from your church, and that is so sad because it has a lot of beauty to offer the world, you just can’t see it through the couple jerks in the way.

 

[rick43235]

That is the beauty of a free country. It also allows me to say that you are a mean jerk, and because of people like you and the treatment they have dished out to me, my kids are going to be raised Lutheran. I never want them picking up your intolerant attittude towards people who don’t think exactly like you.

It is so funny, because since encoutering people like you my respect and admiration of the Catholic Church as seriously diminished. The Catholic friends I knew as a child and young adult were such beautiul examples of faith and love, and what it truly means to find peace in Christ. The people I have encountered in the last year, are mean, petty and condisending, and set poor example for everyone else. Ironically it really is not the doctrine, but the pompous jerks like you that drive most people away from your church, and that is so sad because it has a lot of beauty to offer the world, you just can’t see it through the couple jerks in the way.

I am certainly not a fan of 1ke. Sometimes reading her posts is like listening to the sound of someone dragging their fingernails across a chalkboard. But, if you can get past her haughty self righteousness, most of her responses are spot-on (from a Catholic perspective).

 

[MCGar]

Wow, this is what I hoped wouldn’t happen.



I think many times people forget that there are other living breathing REAL people that they are posting to and about. There’s a huge difference in speaking truth with love and compassion and truth with snideness and rudeness. It’s pretty clear.

In anycase, I hope that those that have been hurt and insulted by rude posters here take a step back also. Everyone can get caught up in trying to make their point and go about it badly. I know I’ve sinned in that regard a few times myself.

I think a few posters here really felt personally insulted by the OP with her first remarks but then felt *more *insulted that she wasn’t receptive in they way they were speaking to her. Instead of changing their tone they decided that she wasn’t receptive to truth itself and they could speak/write any way they wish because it’s under the banner of truth.

Well, there is no way I can change their convictions but I really hope they look at the light they have shown to others and HOW they have shown it.

I would like to start a new thread about mix-marriages, I know that the OP has left and I personally don’t blame her. But this issue is a hot-topic and alot of people are interested in it.

with the exception that rudeness of the type that has been exhibited on this thread be kept separate.

 

[SMHW]

Information is often perceived as cold, hard, and intolerant if it does not support one’s understanding. Catholicism seems like a lot of rules and regulations to those who believe that Christianity was supposed to make such regulations obsolete rather than bring them to fruition. Such is not the case. Catholicism does* and must* include the rules because the Church was entrusted with temporal authority by Jesus himself.

This particular forum (Family Life) tends to have a more touchy-feely audience than, say, Apologetics or* Liturgy and Sacraments *which might be why it was posted here. But in this case the OP was asking questions that might be more appropriate for one of those forums. Weddings are very emotional events. But the Church cannot let the emotions surrounding a wedding take precedence over the greater reality. The Church’s authority is more important than the feelings of the couple wanting to marry. The Church must be *extremely *limited in granting dispensations lest the regulations seem unimportant.

This poster was coming from a touchy-feely position. Many posters here have tried to steer her to the cold hard facts view of things. Her *view *of Christianity is at odds with Catholic theology. It’s unfortunate that the facts are not sympathetic to her feelings. But facts are seldom sympathetic to anything.

 

[LaBailey]

I know that the OP has left and I personally don’t blame her.

No, I haven’t. I’m still checking back, but I’m trying to keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to upset anyone. I almost wish I’d never started this thread (Although I have received lots of helpful info)…

But you’re right, it’s very upsetting to see both sides bickering like this. Can’t everyone just stop? I have apologized for anything I said that offended you. I’m very VERY new to all of this and would appreciate the understanding of a few SENIOR members.

I ask that everyone just stop posting to this thread. It’s continuing to grow into a giant argument. We’re ALL Christians here (Well, ok for the most part) and none of us are acting as such. Please everyone take it down a notch. You’re no longer shedding light on my issue, you’re sending inappropriate messages back and forth and it isn’t necessary. I thank those of you who have stuck up for me even though I was in the wrong. You were understanding about my lack of knowledge and I appreciate it. However now I ask that everyone just takes a deep breath, apologize for the hurtful things you have said (I have, and I am again, I’m very sorry for hurt feelings!), and move on.

Let’s try and show each other the CHRISTIAN way to act. Please. Love thy neighbor as thyself, no matter how hard it is …
Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to share their knowledge.