Confused about my confession Please help

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I am confused about my confession yesterday. I am a convert who joined the church about 12 years ago but had never gone to confession before. During this time I had drifted from the church and became a cafeteria catholic. I questioned the church’s authority and sought out answers to my questions. I came to the realization that the church has the authority that it proclaims. During the time that I drifted away, I had a vasectomy and used other contraceptives. I confessed to this. I also confessed to fornication ( I did not cheat on my wife but I listed lust, porn, masturbation).

The priest abolished my sins and as penance told me to do one rotation of the rosary which he explained was the our father and ten Hail Marys. He told me that he wants me to participate in the upcoming Feast. I can’t remember the name. Do you think it may have been the Feast of Lady of our Lady of Mount Carmel? He also asked if I was married and I told him that I was. I asked for help with the rosary because I didn’t know the prayers and he provided me with a booklet.

I am confused as to how I participate in the Feast. Is there any other Feast coming up? If it is the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel what do I need to do. I’ve done some reading on the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel and I understand that it has to do with the Scapular and a devotion to Mary. I have read that this devotion includes chastity. Am I correct in thinking that this means that my wife and I could no longer be sexually active together? Or do you think that he wanted me to participate until he discovered that I was married? I am taking my faith seriously now and I want to make sure I fulfill my obligation of my penance. Could someone please help me understand what all this means? Thank you in advance. Would it be out of line to call the Priest for clarification?
 
How wonderful that you’re taking your faith seriously now!

I would definitely contact the priest to clarify the penance. There are several feasts coming up - Saints Peter and Paul on Tuesday the 29th, St. Thomas on Saturday the 3rd, and Our Lady of Mt. Carmel on July 16. Is any of these the feastday of your parish? If so, there might be a special celebration the priest wants you to attend.

Now, let’s clarify the meaning of chastity. You seem to have confused chastity with continence or celibacy. Continence means not having sex. Celibacy means not getting married. Chastity means living your sexuality in a virtuous way according to your state in life. Everyone is called to chastity. If you are married, that usually means being faithful to your spouse, being open to life and not engaging in unnatural acts. There is much emphasis placed on chastity for the young unmarried, and of course that does mean no sex at all. This is where confusion might come in. Observing the Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, as far as I know, would not entail refraining from intercourse with your wife.

One more little correction in terms - I love how you said the priest “abolished” your sins. The official word is “absolved.” But “abolished” is wonderfully descriptive of what happened! 🙂

Betsy
 
Also, the term “participate” means to go to Mass. I would definitely ask your priest to clarify, but he could have just meant to go to Mass. We say it is participating because we don’t just let our Faith happen to us, we are active members in our own salvation.
 
Two Feasts in July that are important; in the old calendar, the Visitation of the BVM, July 2 and the July 16th Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. Then of course there is always the First Saturday.
 
And I forgot about the BIG ONE in August. “The Assumption of the BVM” on the 15th.
As others have mentioned I’d double check with the priest.

Regards the participating, just attend Mass and do so very reverently.
God Bless
 
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