Confused about vocation discernment

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vince2paul

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currently, I’m discerning my vocation with the franciscan friars. I’ve been meeting the vocation director weekly for 4 weeks usually for consultation and also evening and night prayers with the friars in the friary. Usually we talk about catholic faith and teaching and clarify things that I am not quite sure.

The past few days I’ve the feeling that it is pointless, because if I want to enter, the fastest is 3-5 years (I’m doing my degree in business at the moment and I don’t think my mum will allow me to join after I graduate). I’m thinking to stop the weekly meeting as it is still a long way to go. I’m just afraid that I’m wasting his time by our weekly meeting.

However, I’m also afraid that if I stop my vocation discernment, I might forget it(although I believe that if it’s God’s calling, He will remind me). Any comment?
 
How could your mother prevent you from joining? I doubt you need her permission, unless you’d be a minor, in which case, I didn’t know orders accepted underage candidates. I say, continue to meet with the vocation director on a regular basis. If you feel once a week is too much, try biweekly or monthly meetings. Of course, if your VD knows everything you just told us, 3 - 5 years, and he still chooses to meet with you weekly, he clearly does not view it as a waste of time. Just discuss it with him. That’s the best thing you can do.
 
How old are you Vincent?

There’s plenty of time and God will make his will known to you.
 
vince2paul said:
The past few days I’ve the feeling that it is pointless, because if I want to enter, the fastest is 3-5 years (I’m doing my degree in business at the moment and I don’t think my mum will allow me to join after I graduate). ?
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how old are you? how old will you be in 3-5 years? hopefully old enough to make your own adult decisions without mum. If God is calling you, what difference does 3-5 years in a lifetime of 70-90 years? not much.
 
Hmm…thats why before I began my vocation discernment in earnest with the permission from my parents. It not an issue about being a minor etc, its about the 10 Commandments and whats said in the NT. Obey and Honour them.

And when it comes down to the essentials, its not about what someone else wants to to become or what you yourself want to become, its about the plan that God has for you and what he wants you to become.
 
3-5 years, whats that?

It took me about 4 years to find the group I am with now.

It took about 6 months from the time I started the application process to get the acceptance letter.

It will take about 8 years until ordination (God Willing).

Now granted, if things work out, I will be in the novitiate next year and make simple vows in 2008 but ordination will still be sometime around 2015 or 2016.

And let me also mention that I am 39 years old.

So let me ask you again, whats a couple of years?
 
Stay prayerful and God will give you the guidance and answers you need.

As for your mom, pray that she will understand God’s WIll for your life. I know that my mom would never consent or like my idea of joining a convent(She’s Baptist), but I also know that someday it may be what God calls me to do. I won’t let anyone, even my mom, get in the way of what God wants me to do. Stay faithful and true to God and he won’t let you fail.

God Bless I hope it all goes well
 
homewardbound said:
Stay prayerful and God will give you the guidance and answers you need.

As for your mom, pray that she will understand God’s WIll for your life. I know that my mom would never consent or like my idea of joining a convent(She’s Baptist), but I also know that someday it may be what God calls me to do. I won’t let anyone, even my mom, get in the way of what God wants me to do. Stay faithful and true to God and he won’t let you fail.

God Bless I hope it all goes well
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Thanks! Well, I believe my mum will understand and approve it. But I think I still have the obligation to give her money, before I decide to enter religious life. After all, I’m studying abroad now.
 
vince2paul said:
currently, I’m discerning my vocation with the franciscan friars. I’ve been meeting the vocation director weekly for 4 weeks usually for consultation and also evening and night prayers with the friars in the friary. Usually we talk about catholic faith and teaching and clarify things that I am not quite sure.

The past few days I’ve the feeling that it is pointless, because if I want to enter, the fastest is 3-5 years (I’m doing my degree in business at the moment and I don’t think my mum will allow me to join after I graduate). I’m thinking to stop the weekly meeting as it is still a long way to go. I’m just afraid that I’m wasting his time by our weekly meeting.

However, I’m also afraid that if I stop my vocation discernment, I might forget it(although I believe that if it’s God’s calling, He will remind me). Any comment?
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My freind, this is pointless and they are to long in accepting. NOT good. Here is a great NEW order, they tell you to come in as soon as YOU want: www.iveamerica.org
 
salushonor said:
My freind, this is pointless and they are to long in accepting. NOT good. Here is a great NEW order, they tell you to come in as soon as YOU want: www.iveamerica.org
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I think it’s not good to make decision in a rush, it’s better to think carefully, especially about vocation. Besides, the fastest would be 3-5 years as mentioned above 🙂
Thanks, anyway. I’ll have a look a the website. oh, btw, I’m not in the US.
 
3-5 years, I wish I could be so lucky. I have started my discernment and I know it will be 10-12 years before I will even be able to enter the seminary. I will be 42-45 when it happens for me. 3-5 years is a blink of an eye in one’s lifetime.
 
DiscerningDave said:
3-5 years, I wish I could be so lucky. I have started my discernment and I know it will be 10-12 years before I will even be able to enter the seminary. I will be 42-45 when it happens for me. 3-5 years is a blink of an eye in one’s lifetime.
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Why so long?
Well, I can only plan, but it’s all depend on Him. If His plan is not the same as mine, then it won’t happen. =)
My past life wasn’t good at all, so actually I don’t know whether I will be accepted. I’m kinda pessimistic abt it.
L
 
DiscerningDave said:
3-5 years, I wish I could be so lucky. I have started my discernment and I know it will be 10-12 years before I will even be able to enter the seminary. I will be 42-45 when it happens for me. 3-5 years is a blink of an eye in one’s lifetime.
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Why so long?
Well, I can only plan what I think good for me. But in the end it’s Him who will decide what is good for me, so it depends on Him. Besides that, my past life wasn’t good at all, so I’m not sure whether I would be accepted. I’m kinda pessimistic about it.
 
vince2paul said:
Why so long?
Well, I can only plan what I think good for me. But in the end it’s Him who will decide what is good for me, so it depends on Him. Besides that, my past life wasn’t good at all, so I’m not sure whether I would be accepted. I’m kinda pessimistic about it.
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So long because I have a daughter and my obligation is to her first. I must make sure she grows up the best Catholic she can and my job will not be over until she can be on her own.

That being said, I am going to begin my process in becoming a deacon, then God willing, when she goes to college, I will enter the seminary. I am taking the steps now to prepare myself for a life devoted to God. I follow the advice of Richard Dryfuss in What About Bob? I’m taking baby steps.
 
DiscerningDave said:
So long because I have a daughter and my obligation is to her first. I must make sure she grows up the best Catholic she can and my job will not be over until she can be on her own.

That being said, I am going to begin my process in becoming a deacon, then God willing, when she goes to college, I will enter the seminary. I am taking the steps now to prepare myself for a life devoted to God. I follow the advice of Richard Dryfuss in What About Bob? I’m taking baby steps.
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I hope that you are aware that if you are ordained as a permanent deacon that you might not be allowed to move on to the seminary and ordination to the priesthood.
 
ByzCath said:
I hope that you are aware that if you are ordained as a permanent deacon that you might not be allowed to move on to the seminary and ordination to the priesthood.
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Yeah, I am aware of that. I have thought about what to do in that situation. I think before I begin the official process, an audience with my bishop is in order. Ideally, I would like to become a transitional deacon, but I do not know if one can do that. I know that is the status given to seminarians 6 months before they are ordained as a priest. I am wondering if I could get something in writing stating that if once I became a deacon, I would be allowd to enter the seminary if I so choose. Anyone have experience with a similar situation like this?
 
Don’t give up! I too do not understand the issue with your mother but here is my 2 cents.

Paul says to “work out your salvation”. This is not works but the process of sanctification, which is life long. All of these struggles and prayerful seeking after the right direction for your life are just part of the process. That is what your spiritual director is there to help you find out. Confide in him. Look…the answer may come back no but you will only know if you search. That process can take time and involve struggle (if it does you will grow through it). Look in Jeremiah where it says that if you seek after God you will find him.

I was not ordained until my late 30’s in a Protestant denimination and then later into a liturgical denomination with Apostlic Succession. At one point I yearned for a vocation that I thought would never be fulfilled but God in His time began opening doors to seminary, to the Priesthood, and to service.

Don’t give up! Sounds like you are young and have a lot of time to discern your vocation. You will need to work at it and trust God to show you the direction for your life and if you are open He will. If you follow that direction He will open the doors.

North

PS If it takes a hwile, for what it is worth my extra gen X life experience between college - seminary - and ordination made me a better servant. Thank God I did not give up on my vocation.
 
vince2paul said:
currently, I’m discerning my vocation with the franciscan friars. I’ve been meeting the vocation director weekly for 4 weeks usually for consultation and also evening and night prayers with the friars in the friary. Usually we talk about catholic faith and teaching and clarify things that I am not quite sure.

The past few days I’ve the feeling that it is pointless, because if I want to enter, the fastest is 3-5 years (I’m doing my degree in business at the moment and I don’t think my mum will allow me to join after I graduate). I’m thinking to stop the weekly meeting as it is still a long way to go. I’m just afraid that I’m wasting his time by our weekly meeting.

However, I’m also afraid that if I stop my vocation discernment, I might forget it(although I believe that if it’s God’s calling, He will remind me). Any comment?
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I’m confused as to one sentance, “My mom won’t let me join after I graduate.” If you’re a college student, then I doubt you’ll need your mother’s permission to join the friary. I understand wanting her blessing, and I think that is wise. However, Jesus also said that we must be willing to leave our families to serve Him.
Why do you think your mother would object? Does she feel that you would not be suited for religious life for some reason? Does she worry about the debt you will likely have after you graduate? If her concerns are valid ones, then perhaps you should think twice. If her concerns are more selfish, such as “I don’t want to give up grandchildren,” of if your mother is not a Catholic and therefore views joining a friary as a waste (or a cultlike action) then I would not wait for your mother’s approval. However, your mother is your mother, and I do think that you should listen to her and be respectful, whatever you do.
Also, 3-5 years is not a long time to discover your vocation. Remember, this is a VERY important decision, and it makes sense to approach this slowly with prayer and guidance of those at the friary and the vocations director. Be patient. Patience is very hard, very hard, I know. But it is essential.
 
valient_Lucy said:
I’m confused as to one sentance, “My mom won’t let me join after I graduate.” If you’re a college student, then I doubt you’ll need your mother’s permission to join the friary. I understand wanting her blessing, and I think that is wise. However, Jesus also said that we must be willing to leave our families to serve Him.
Why do you think your mother would object? Does she feel that you would not be suited for religious life for some reason? Does she worry about the debt you will likely have after you graduate? If her concerns are valid ones, then perhaps you should think twice. If her concerns are more selfish, such as “I don’t want to give up grandchildren,” of if your mother is not a Catholic and therefore views joining a friary as a waste (or a cultlike action) then I would not wait for your mother’s approval. However, your mother is your mother, and I do think that you should listen to her and be respectful, whatever you do.QUOTE]

Oopss… I forgot to edit it. Well, last week I talked to my mum already, and she’s fine with it, as long as I’m happy.
I’m doing my bachelor degree abroad, so it costs a bomb at the moment. My dad passed away few years ago and I still have 1 stepsister, 7yo. Therefore, I still feel that I must give her some money before I decide to enter religious life.
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valient_Lucy said:
I’m confused as to one sentance, “My mom won’t let me join after I graduate.” If you’re a college student, then I doubt you’ll need your mother’s permission to join the friary. I understand wanting her blessing, and I think that is wise. However, Jesus also said that we must be willing to leave our families to serve Him.
Why do you think your mother would object? Does she feel that you would not be suited for religious life for some reason? Does she worry about the debt you will likely have after you graduate? If her concerns are valid ones, then perhaps you should think twice. If her concerns are more selfish, such as “I don’t want to give up grandchildren,” of if your mother is not a Catholic and therefore views joining a friary as a waste (or a cultlike action) then I would not wait for your mother’s approval. However, your mother is your mother, and I do think that you should listen to her and be respectful, whatever you do.
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Oopss… I forgot to edit it. Well, last week I talked to my mum already, and she’s fine with it, as long as I’m happy.
I’m doing my bachelor degree abroad, so it costs a bomb at the moment. My dad passed away few years ago and I still have 1 stepsister, 7yo. Therefore, I still feel that I must give her some money before I decide to enter religious life.
 
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