Confused and in Need of Help

[CompletelyOutOfIdeas]

Hello everyone,

I have now reached the point where I don’t really know what to do. I was baptized a Protestant, and although it was technically a ‘catholic’ baptism, I would have in no way considered myself Catholic until around 2 years ago. This being said, the time leading up to when I became a Catholic was, at least so far, by far the worst point in my life (as high school is for many people). I had extreme clinical depression, and at one point I completely renounced my Christian faith. Seeing as how I was only Confirmed after this happened, quite a bit after it happened in fact, I’m not sure if I’m excommunicated (since I was never really “in Communion” until quite a while after). I’ve confessed this to a priest, and he absolved me of it, but I’m not sure if this is something that needs to be taken to my Bishop.

During this time of depression, I also very briefly turned to the occult, having given up all hope on gaining heaven. I turned against God in the hour that I needed Him most, and I intentionally went out of my way to seek worldly pleasure in what time I had here. This I have not confessed, and I’m really not sure how to. Since this was during the same incident where I renounced my faith (as this occult stuff only happened once before I recognized my mistake) I simply confessed to renouncing my faith, not the circumstances under which it happened. I was so mentally ill that I was practically in a state of delirium at the time, but this doesn’t really make it much better.

A lot has happened since then, and I’m currently studying in bible college. My life has taken a turn for the better, and sometimes I find it difficult to believe that these things even happened, and that I was capable of them. That being said, I really want to be sure of how I should proceed with this, as I truly have no idea what to do.

Thank you.

 

[FrancesP]

Dear @CompletelyOutOfIdeas ,
to commit a grave sin, full consent is required
You were ill, clinically depressed, and not completely rational.

From “The Catechism of the Catholic Church”
1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.” I appears that you did not meet those conditions.

In Confession you were absolved.The priest is acting in person of Christ. He gave you absolution, which comes from Jesus Himself.
If you were required to go to the Bishop, he would have directed you to that.

If you forgot a serious sin in your last confession, confess it next time you go to Confession.
After Absolution, Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC assures us that “Remembering the sin does not place one in mortal sin again, and it is not necessary to rush to confession. It is enough to mention it at the next regular confession; and one may continue to receive Communion in the meantime.”
We do have a Jesuit Priest from Rome among our members
@mxmsj (Fr Martin X Moleski, SJ.) He can answer any remaining concerns regarding this matter, or can clarify as needed.

God bless you with peace of soul and mind, and with good health

 

[mxmsj]

Dear @CompletelyOutOfIdeas and Frances,

I endorse what Frances has said.

A few other things to meditate on:

There is only one Baptism. Whoever is washed with water with the Trinitarian formula, “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” is baptized in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Your baptism gives you an eternal relationship with God and with all who are baptized. You are born again “of water and of the spirit” (John 3:5). This is a permanent spiritual change that cannot be undone.

Even though we become God’s own dwelling place by the power of Baptism, in our fallen condition, our feelings very often do not correspond to spiritual reality. It is possible to be haunted by guilt and shame because of our past sins, even though they have been completely forgiven and entirely washed away. That kind of condemnation is not from the Holy Spirit but from the world, our flesh, and/or the devil. “Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one” (Eph 6:16). You may have to repeat this prayer of faith many times, as often as you are assailed by these ghosts, but that is a normal part of growth in the Spirit.

Faith is a virtue, and virtues are cultivated by practice. We learn how to walk by walking poorly. We learn how to talk by talking poorly. We learn how to believe by believing as best we can. Faith doesn’t have to be perfect to be good. “I believe; help Thou my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).

God bless you!

Fr. Marty