Confused mess anglican / catholic /annullment

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sivy28

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hi my story is as follows , i have not had a catholic upbringing as a matter of fact i was not even baptized. I had always had some belief and prayed but never followed the church life. I decided i wanted to know more and had an adult baptism in an anglican church, this was after I had a church blessing for a civil marriage to my partner of 15 years who was divorced from her first husband. I later went to newzealand and got interested in the catholic faith and decided to convert on the grounds of some issues i had with the anglican church and belive the catholic church to be the pure teaching. I started RCIA in newzealand then came back to the UK and approached a catholic priest here and told him I had started my RCIA and i would like to continue so I did . Well i think there may have been confusion as he converted me and I now know i was in an invalid marriage? I went on to confessions and mass and had my son baptized too . I moved from the area and since drifted from the faith and did not attend the local church as regular but now I wanted to get closer to god and gain more knowledge I found out about the catholic catechism and have now discovered im in a right mess. I cannot receive communion if fact in the past I have committed mortal sin by doing so . It looks as if I cannot live as a catholic and I dont even know now if my conversion was valid ? I approached my wife who is a private person and is upset about the process of anullment as she has a son from the previous marriage. I feel lost now on what to do as it seems i cannot be a true catholic and be accepted:confused:.

Nigel
 
I am sorry to hear about the mess you find yourself in. I don’t know what to say other than it is sad how often this type of thing happens–sometimes people are ill-informed and then they get bad counsel from ill-informed people and it results in something like this. I also had big mess on my hands when I tried to return to the catholic church after a marriage outside. I will pray for you and for some resolution to your situation because I understand your feelings. It was truly painful for me to go through – remember to cling to God who welcomes you with open arms even if no one else seems to do so. One thought that might give you some consolation is you can’t be responsible for what you didn’t know. So I don’t see how those things could be mortal sins or your conversion invalid, at least in God’s eyes.
 
Please talk to a priest about this as soon as possible. Your situation has far too many variables for us anonymous internet folk to be in a position to sort through.

You are in my prayers.
 
Please go talk to your pastor, and take things one step at a time. Your situation is not hopeless, it will just take time to work through everything.

Your wife might want to read Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster which can help her understand what a decree of nullity is and isn’t. Her children are not impacted by such a decree, and as for being private-- everything is confidential.

Do not delay, make an appointment with your local pastor as soon as possible and explain the facts to him.
 
sivy28 said:
hi my story is as follows , i have not had a catholic upbringing as a matter of fact i was not even baptized. I had always had some belief and prayed but never followed the church life. I decided i wanted to know more and had an adult baptism in an anglican church, this was after I had a church blessing for a civil marriage to my partner of 15 years who was divorced from her first husband. I later went to newzealand and got interested in the catholic faith and decided to convert on the grounds of some issues i had with the anglican church and belive the catholic church to be the pure teaching. I started RCIA in newzealand then came back to the UK and approached a catholic priest here and told him I had started my RCIA and i would like to continue so I did . Well i think there may have been confusion as he converted me and I now know i was in an invalid marriage? I went on to confessions and mass and had my son baptized too . I moved from the area and since drifted from the faith and did not attend the local church as regular but now I wanted to get closer to god and gain more knowledge I found out about the catholic catechism and have now discovered im in a right mess. I cannot receive communion if fact in the past I have committed mortal sin by doing so . It looks as if I cannot live as a catholic and I dont even know now if my conversion was valid ? I approached my wife who is a private person and is upset about the process of anullment as she has a son from the previous marriage. I feel lost now on what to do as it seems i cannot be a true catholic and be accepted:confused:.

Nigel
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Hi Nigel, welcome to CAF! 👋 Glad to meet you.

What you need to do first, is go and speak to the priest in the parish nearest you. Take any and all documents with you, and if it will help, write out a timeline of what has happened so far. He will be able to advise you on what you need to do next, and will give you counsel about how to approach your wife. In fact, if she can come along with you, that would be good, but if not, maybe she can see him next time.

Don’t be afraid, these things can be dealt with! Your son needs you to be a strong example of Catholic fatherhood!

:grouphug::grouphug:
 
Thanks for the kind replies,
I am seeing my local priest in the morning for advise i do hope he has a solution thanks again

Nigel
 
sivy28 said:
Thanks for the kind replies,
I am seeing my local priest in the morning for advise i do hope he has a solution thanks again

Nigel
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You will be in my prayers. Please let us know what happens!

🙂
 
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