S
St.Curious
Guest
Hello all.
I know I’ve come to you a many times and I am doing so again, so thank you all for being so kind and helpful. Just this past weekend my parents went to Mass with me for the first time, and now this. Please read on, I appreciate all of this.
Enter "I think I might have a calling."
Part One
Since 9th grade I’ve felt this pull to the pastoral life. I wasn’t sure then why and I’m not positive I know now, but I know I feel it still. Ten years later and I still feel it. What makes that interesting is that my family and I had stopped going to church for sometime (almost 8 years), and through all of it I still felt it. I didn’t turn my back on God, I was just being lazy in devotion (amoungst other things).
Then after college I started graduate school. I was at a very liberal advertising graduate program when I rediscovered what it meant to be Christian all over again, I’m still discovering, and hopefully will be forever. There I was, in a school full of people who judged me because I openly admitted to being Christian. At times I felt alone and scared. Around the time of the presidential election, things got really bad. I was mocked and made fun of for being Christian. I was told I and everyone else who believed in God were uneducated republican idiots. I cried. I saw what people were capable of and I was shocked. I was so glad to be graduating in one more semester.
Don’t get me wrong, not everyone was like that. I soon got the nickname “brother Bryan” at school just because they knew I was Christian. Interestingly enough, I wasn’t preaching to anyone or really discussing it, I just didn’t shy down to their questions. I met some really amazing people at school who were very accepting. I will always remember them.
Still, I needed God in my life more than ever during those two years. And that’s when I discovered a part of me that said “screw it, go to Mass, you have always wanted to, just do it!” So I did! One Tuesday morning I left school on a “lunch break” and instead went to Mass. After that came many more visits and many more devotional type activites. I taught myself the rosary, something I battled with for a long time until I finally came to peace with its purpose and message. I even joined the rosary prayer group at the Cathedral near by school (actually on campus) and started going there.
It was during all of this time that a friend of mine came back from college and back into my life after a four year hiatus. He was in the middle of the process to attend episcopal seminary to become a priest. He had been raised Catholic, but had converted in college when he realized that while he had the calling, he still wanted to be married. Anyway, in talking with him I started to feel the calling more and more. And he answered many of questions about Catholicism. Still, I tend to doubt myself a lot, and I went on my not-so-merry way.
Fast-forward to Modern Day:
Also titled "I think I might have a calling."
Part two
Through my sister’s ex-boyfriend, Neal, I met Brother Gregory Gresko (you may know him as the monk who sang at Pope Benedict XVI’s Innagural Mass) who is a Benedictine Monk here in Richmond, Va. I spoke with him for well over an hour on instant messenger just last night (Monday night EST) about my thoughts and problems, possibly calling and what not. He was awesome, so kind and really an amazing person. He also invited me to come and meet the Brothers at the abbey this Friday. Neal is going to join me and we are going to head out there to hang out. I’m really excited, but nervous at the same time because I know I may want to return again for a retreat. And then for perhaps longer.
My parents would be in complete disagreement with such an idea and life would turn upside down for sure. But I know that if God is calling me, I can’t escape Him. And I’m not going to turn my back on He who is everything to me.
In Closing…
Only Part
There is no way I can explain all of this to you. It’s simply too much and my thoughts would be completely scattered. I’m going Friday to talk with him 1:1 and in groups, to help discern any ideas I may have. If nothing else, I would love to have Br. Greg and/or another Brother be a spiritual guide for me. I think I’m in need of some serious healing.
I wrote this to ask for your opinions and prayers (that I may received clear faith signals from God and see clearly through the Holy Spirit that which I must discern in time).
I start RCIA in late September and I’m really psyched about the class. I can’t wait to get going and I hope my family will be joining me. Reguardless though, I know I have plenty of time (until Easter) until I have to really make any major decisions. Even then I have a six month consideration time if I choose to ask to join.
Please, speak to me with any words you can find.
I know I’ve come to you a many times and I am doing so again, so thank you all for being so kind and helpful. Just this past weekend my parents went to Mass with me for the first time, and now this. Please read on, I appreciate all of this.
Enter "I think I might have a calling."
Part One
Since 9th grade I’ve felt this pull to the pastoral life. I wasn’t sure then why and I’m not positive I know now, but I know I feel it still. Ten years later and I still feel it. What makes that interesting is that my family and I had stopped going to church for sometime (almost 8 years), and through all of it I still felt it. I didn’t turn my back on God, I was just being lazy in devotion (amoungst other things).
Then after college I started graduate school. I was at a very liberal advertising graduate program when I rediscovered what it meant to be Christian all over again, I’m still discovering, and hopefully will be forever. There I was, in a school full of people who judged me because I openly admitted to being Christian. At times I felt alone and scared. Around the time of the presidential election, things got really bad. I was mocked and made fun of for being Christian. I was told I and everyone else who believed in God were uneducated republican idiots. I cried. I saw what people were capable of and I was shocked. I was so glad to be graduating in one more semester.
Don’t get me wrong, not everyone was like that. I soon got the nickname “brother Bryan” at school just because they knew I was Christian. Interestingly enough, I wasn’t preaching to anyone or really discussing it, I just didn’t shy down to their questions. I met some really amazing people at school who were very accepting. I will always remember them.
Still, I needed God in my life more than ever during those two years. And that’s when I discovered a part of me that said “screw it, go to Mass, you have always wanted to, just do it!” So I did! One Tuesday morning I left school on a “lunch break” and instead went to Mass. After that came many more visits and many more devotional type activites. I taught myself the rosary, something I battled with for a long time until I finally came to peace with its purpose and message. I even joined the rosary prayer group at the Cathedral near by school (actually on campus) and started going there.
It was during all of this time that a friend of mine came back from college and back into my life after a four year hiatus. He was in the middle of the process to attend episcopal seminary to become a priest. He had been raised Catholic, but had converted in college when he realized that while he had the calling, he still wanted to be married. Anyway, in talking with him I started to feel the calling more and more. And he answered many of questions about Catholicism. Still, I tend to doubt myself a lot, and I went on my not-so-merry way.
Fast-forward to Modern Day:
Also titled "I think I might have a calling."
Part two
Through my sister’s ex-boyfriend, Neal, I met Brother Gregory Gresko (you may know him as the monk who sang at Pope Benedict XVI’s Innagural Mass) who is a Benedictine Monk here in Richmond, Va. I spoke with him for well over an hour on instant messenger just last night (Monday night EST) about my thoughts and problems, possibly calling and what not. He was awesome, so kind and really an amazing person. He also invited me to come and meet the Brothers at the abbey this Friday. Neal is going to join me and we are going to head out there to hang out. I’m really excited, but nervous at the same time because I know I may want to return again for a retreat. And then for perhaps longer.
My parents would be in complete disagreement with such an idea and life would turn upside down for sure. But I know that if God is calling me, I can’t escape Him. And I’m not going to turn my back on He who is everything to me.
In Closing…
Only Part
There is no way I can explain all of this to you. It’s simply too much and my thoughts would be completely scattered. I’m going Friday to talk with him 1:1 and in groups, to help discern any ideas I may have. If nothing else, I would love to have Br. Greg and/or another Brother be a spiritual guide for me. I think I’m in need of some serious healing.
I wrote this to ask for your opinions and prayers (that I may received clear faith signals from God and see clearly through the Holy Spirit that which I must discern in time).
I start RCIA in late September and I’m really psyched about the class. I can’t wait to get going and I hope my family will be joining me. Reguardless though, I know I have plenty of time (until Easter) until I have to really make any major decisions. Even then I have a six month consideration time if I choose to ask to join.
Please, speak to me with any words you can find.