Considering Inter-Faith Marriage

[maggieodae]

I’ve been dating a Baptist for about 11 months now, which put us at the position of having to decide if we get married or go our separate ways. This is obviously a decision we need to make together, so I thought it would be helpful if I could come to our discussion with a list of the responsibilities I, as a Catholic, would bring to the marriage.
Thanks for any help you can provide.

Shake hands and part as friends. You are NOT going to have a great married life and neither is she. Her faith is probably very important to her too. So, your asking a lot from her and not giving much in return…which, obviously you cannot so you really should not even consider it.

There is a nice Catholic girl out there somewhere for you, and she will find a nice Baptist man too. You are not a match by any stretch of the imagination.

Been there done that. DON"T DO IT! You are going to confuse the heck out of any children you have. Not to mention the resentments which are sure to come for both of you, when neither of you can live up to the others faith needs.

 

[cheddarsox]

I often wonder about this w/my own boyfriend. We’re a little young to be thinking about marriage and we’re long distance, so we’re taking it slowly, but the Catholic/Protestant thing is something we have to face. He knows how Catholic I am and that regardless of who the lucky groom is, I would still be obliged to marry in the Church and raise children in the Faith. However, it is difficult, especially explaining all the different doctrines of the Church (the good thing is though, he forces me to be on top of my faith and to always act as a good Christian would). Thankfully, I know his family well and they encourage me in my faith, while also joking that I might end up being a part of their family in a few years.

Is your girlfriend willing to allow you to raise the children Catholic and to marry you in the Church? How about her family? I got lucky with the fact that my boyfriend’s family is understanding. However, I know that isn’t always the case. What about birth control? I know they don’t have the same views that we hold about it. Also, be sure to maintain a strong prayer life, in order to know if God is calling you to marriage with this girl. I know my relationship takes a lot of discernment and you really do have to see past the stars in your eyes.

Boyfriend and family are understanding, that is nice, until it comes to raising the kids. Then, all we really understand is that we cannot look into our childrens eyes and tell then anything that we do not believe is true concerning God. We cannot allow someone to raise our dear children in another faith, we cannot.

Before hand, it is easy to be understanding, but when the kids come, and we must do our best by them…then all understanding goes out the window, and we follow the deepest callings of our souls.

No parent, who loves their child, can stand by and watch them be raised in a faith they do not agree with.

It is not about being nice, or playing nice, or being ecumenical, or understanding. Two adults can choose to share a life and practice differing faiths. But when the kids come…believe me, it is a very different story. All promises made beforehand go out the window, because the issue at hand is of ultimate importance, and is more important than any paper anyone agreed to sign.

best to you,

cheddar