Considering some major changes

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I’ve been in this situation. My husband and I got in way too deep with a $300,000 house in San Antonio. We also had our children in Catholic schools. Our expenses were enormous. Finally we woke up one day and said, “What are we doing???!!! This is ridiculous!” So we sold the house and moved into a very nice rental home for 6 months. Bear in mind, our kids were teenagers! We moved the boys in one bedroom and the girls in another. We got back on our feet gradually and were able to keep the kids in good schools, which in my opinion is the single most important thing we ever did for our children, who are all now in college (or married) and doing great.
We have since bought a much more modest home for $72,000, added on two bedrooms, so everyone has their own bedroom; and our payments are only $600 per month. My husband and I both work and are able to help our children through college and with their other expenses (with teenagers it’s always something!).
We no longer feel out of our depth financially. Sell the house - it’s only a house! Your peace of mind is much more important and you can always buy another one in a better price range.
But IMHO, get your children into Catholic schools ASAP! It’s worth every cent!
The only problem is that it doesn’t sound like the OP has much equity in the house. If she sells it now, she will probably sell it for a loss. Plus, it may not sell anyway. The real estate market is terrible now for a seller. It is definitely a buyer’s market. Houses have been sitting for over a year in many areas, and when they finally sell, the seller has to take a considerably lower price. Refinancing makes more sense than losing money on the house.
 
The only problem is that it doesn’t sound like the OP has much equity in the house. If she sells it now, she will probably sell it for a loss. Plus, it may not sell anyway. The real estate market is terrible now for a seller. It is definitely a buyer’s market. Houses have been sitting for over a year in many areas, and when they finally sell, the seller has to take a considerably lower price. Refinancing makes more sense than losing money on the house.
Actually, we would not take a loss. We would get enough to pay off 1st & 2nd mortgage PLUS most of van…we have been in the house 7 years, probably won’t even get it on the market for a few months.

I think there are some good ideas here, I appreciate it, DH & I are discussing/discerning. We will meet with the priest and I hope the principal as well. Oh yeah and the financial planner, too. 🙂

ETA: I guess since we wouldn’t be totally out of debt with the sale, that might be a “loss”, however, right now, I gotta say…I"m kind of smitten with the idea of only bills are expense type items so we can save…anyway, we’re still discussing/discerning, so we’ll see what we end up with.
 
Thanks, though! I just wondered if anyone else had ever gone form “owning” to renting again temporarily…and we DO plan for this to be temporary at this time.
there is no shame in renting. I owned three homes before I met my husband 10 years ago. I bought them at good prices and sold them at better prices. I rent now. My husband is not domestic. If we owned this home the mortgage would be three times the rent and we would not have a landlord who lives across the street who is there to make all the repairs and pay the taxes and let us borrow the lawn mower. My husband and I were both under the delusion of what we were expected to do with our lives and just recently realized that we don’t need to buy a home to be happy. Renting is not anymore unstable than owning in today’s world when finances can be devastated by two missed paychecks. I have lived here for 5 years now, a small 3 bedroom/1.5 bath ranch on 2 acres of private land on a county road with great neighbors and four cats and a dog for $575 a month. Owning a home is just not our priority anymore. The world has changed and so have we.
Ravyn
 
there is no shame in renting. I owned three homes before I met my husband 10 years ago. I bought them at good prices and sold them at better prices. I rent now. My husband is not domestic. If we owned this home the mortgage would be three times the rent and we would not have a landlord who lives across the street who is there to make all the repairs and pay the taxes and let us borrow the lawn mower. My husband and I were both under the delusion of what we were expected to do with our lives and just recently realized that we don’t need to buy a home to be happy. Renting is not anymore unstable than owning in today’s world when finances can be devastated by two missed paychecks. I have lived here for 5 years now, a small 3 bedroom/1.5 bath ranch on 2 acres of private land on a county road with great neighbors and four cats and a dog for $575 a month. Owning a home is just not our priority anymore. The world has changed and so have we.
Ravyn
Renting a house rather than an apartment sounds much better for a family. For a single person or a couple without children, an apartment is ok; but keeping children cooped up inside a tiny apartment sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to the children.
 
Renting a house rather than an apartment sounds much better for a family. For a single person or a couple without children, an apartment is ok; but keeping children cooped up inside a tiny apartment sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to the children.
We are looking at all options, renting a home or an apartment big enough for our family. And, if it happens to be in an apartment… honestly, we’re hardly home enough to consider it “cooping up”. WE have a house now that sits largely empty most of the day with the kids and parent (whomever is at home) going to the park or swimming or library. Granted, it’s summer time, but in the fall, there is school 5 days a week anyway. Besides, as I mentioned, if we rent it will be temporary, and I really don’t think insinuating that a decision tough enough on us would result in “cruel and unusual punishment” for our children is quite fair or charitable. My children are loved and cared for…ah what the heck…I don’t owe you that explanation.🤷
 
I highly recommend reading Dave Ramsey (Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover or both). He gives sound advice. It may not be for you, but you may get something out of it.

I think you sound wise in your plans. If you follow them, you will find yourself in a position to have savings, pay for retirement and college, and pay off your home quickly. Many people (and even financial advisors) disagree, but being debt free is liberating and feels grea!!!
 
I’d be careful about renting. Even though you have a mortgage, your house is the biggest asset you have, and you could potentially turn it into a money-maker. If your mortgage is comparable to others in your market, you might want to consider renting your home for a while. That’s if you live in a decent neighborhood, nearby houses are inhabited by their owners, prices are steadily rising, etc.

You COULD sell your house now and get a nifty little profit, but then where would you be? Has your house doubled in value yet? Would you just blow your profit? I agree with someone above–consult at least one financial advisor, preferably two or three. Especially if they have real estate experience.

There are so many ways to make your house work for you. You can even get a new place with no money down, and 100% financing provided by the seller of the new place. (How is that possible? Well, don’t just listen to me–check it out. You can negotiate all kinds of creative deals in real estate.)

I’m in a similar situation. I’ve got a wife and a child on the way. We MUST reduce our mortgage somehow. PM me if you want some resources on options…

Cheers,
MM
 
We are looking at all options, renting a home or an apartment big enough for our family. And, if it happens to be in an apartment… honestly, we’re hardly home enough to consider it “cooping up”. WE have a house now that sits largely empty most of the day with the kids and parent (whomever is at home) going to the park or swimming or library. Granted, it’s summer time, but in the fall, there is school 5 days a week anyway. Besides, as I mentioned, if we rent it will be temporary, and I really don’t think insinuating that a decision tough enough on us would result in “cruel and unusual punishment” for our children is quite fair or charitable. My children are loved and cared for…ah what the heck…I don’t owe you that explanation.🤷
If there is someplace available for the children to be outside, that is ok. I live in an apartment complex. The largest apartments are 2 bedroom. Children are not allowed to be outside unsupervised. Toys may not be left in the halls or other common areas. If toys are left out, they are thrown out. Just keep in mind that you may not have room for all the kids’ stuff in an apartment. If you leave it out, it may be thrown out, because those are the rules. I have no children, but if I did, they would live in a rented house, not an apartment, if they had to live in rented property.
 
I am looking into one of those options provided regarding a 0% down loan…but those really kind of scare me (I have a hard enough time owin $90,000 - and that’s WITH equity…so I couldn’t imagine getting a loan with NO equity…yikes!!! CAn you tell I have kind of become “debt averse”? I wish I had been this way 8 years ago…). Also, I thought of the option of rolling the van into a refi and we just hang out in this house a while longer…but, we’ll see.

Also, we would only consider apartment complexes that are “kid friendly” and there are a few around here…one I looked at had two playgrounds…one for toddler through small child age and one for bigger kids also it had two pools. So, there are some options around here for renting an apartment and not being “cruel” to my children. Also, we have space availabe in MIL’s basement for lots of stuff…and again, we view it as a 12 month (PERHAPS) or 18 month situation…not something long-term.

Thanks for all the ideas! We need to keep them all in mind!
 
By any chance are you still paying PMI on your mortgage payment?

We got our current home with zero down. That necessitates PMI (mortgage insurance) until we have 20% equity. In our market down here that happened in about a year mostly because of increased home values. We promptly refinanced with a lower rate because it was now an 80% loan instead of a 100% loan and got rid of the PMI. Even though the loan was for the same amount, the payments were lower.

Definitely consider the refinance option rolling both mortgages into one and perhaps adding the van.
 
Interestingly enough, one of the mortgage companies where one of our mortgages is held called today…about refinancing. I talked with her for a while and we discussed putting both mortgages together and she mentioned rolling the van in, however, I REALLY would rather just have the mortgage on the house with SOME equity…even if it’s not a lot. But then she mentioned they are doing “free” refinances on autos…maybe I could refi the van for a little longer at a lower interest rate and lower the payment on it…

I’ll be interested to see what kind of interest rate ont he van she comes up with because we have a pretty decent one right now.

Anyway, I’m going to fax her the paperwork she needs tomorrow and see what kind of options she comes up with. So…we may stay in our house and also refinance and see if we can help ourselves a little bit.

Additionally, DH is going to call the parish office and see about scheduling a time to come in and talk with the principal about our options there. The more this week has gone on, the more it has worked on me that I really don’t have solid reasons not to put my children in school there…so we’re going to look into it.

Thanks for all the ideas…we are slowly working through everything.
 
I highly recommend reading Dave Ramsey (Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover or both). He gives sound advice. It may not be for you, but you may get something out of it.

I think you sound wise in your plans. If you follow them, you will find yourself in a position to have savings, pay for retirement and college, and pay off your home quickly. Many people (and even financial advisors) disagree, but being debt free is liberating and feels grea!!!
YES! Please, Please, PLEASE, find Dave Ramsey on a radio station in your area! He’s a financial counselor who has three books that are New York Times best sellers. He was a multi millionare by age 26 when he lost it all. He has since turned his life around and become a millionare again. (I think he’s, what, about 40 now…). I have the Financial Peace Planner which walks you through all the baby steps, Financial Peace Revisited (just a later edition of the original with some extra chapters), and The Total Money Makeover. These were like, $8 each at a used bookstore. I also found a copy of Financial Peace for $1 at a yard sale. And, of course, listening to the radio is free!

Here is his website. Go read some of the We Did It stories! He WILL get you fired up! I’m getting my three year old to practice screaming “We’re debt FREEEeeeee!!!” so when we do get debt free we can call in to the show and scream it on the air! I always get teary eyed when I hear others call in to do that. It’s wonderful and inspiring!!

One wonderful thing about him is he’s a Christian and not afraid to admitt it. One of his phrases is: The only way to financial peace is to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus! I love that!! He believes in tithing, too, but he doesn’t push that concept onto people. He tells them that is something between them and God. He also reads verse from Proverbs on the air (one or two here and there) that have to do with debt and money.

I guess you can tell I really like him. He just gets people so excited about paying of their debts. If I had to guess, I’d say we’ve paid off around $10,000 worth of debt in less than a year of listening to him.

Like he says, “Sell so much stuff around you that the kids think their going to be next!”
 
Getting out of debt, or getting to a manageable amount of debt is a good thing.

However some debts are more tolerable than others. A debt for something that you cannot redeem is the worst. Putting vacations on credit cards and such. You can’t sell your vacation to pay off your debt.

A car is a little better if the car doesn’t depreciate faster than the loan principle. I know of one family whose commute was so great that the value of the car depreciated faster than the loan. So when the time came for a different car - they still owed money on the old car!

A house is better still because, generally speaking the house increases in value and in 3 to 4 years you can sell it to pay off the loan plus any losses due to real estate agents’ share.

Selling your house and renting may or may not be the best idea. Sometimes you’ll find that the rent payments can be just as bad or worse than your mortgage payments. Look into rental costs before selling.

Another middle-of-the-road option may be downsizing your house. Not that you can take a bulldozer to the living room, but you can move to a smaller house - you buy it though instead of renting. Our first house was a tiny fixer-upper. The “sweat equity” really paid off in the long run. We fixed up the kitchen and bathrooms without taking any loans. This increased the value over-and-above the normal appreciation. When we sold, we were able to “upsize” because the money bought 20% of a much greater home. Even our second home had potential sweat equity, we added a bathroom and bedroom in the basement (it already had egress).
 
Well, I have an update.

We decided to refinance our home…put the two mortgages together along with the car. Our payment will go down a couple hundred dollars each month and we have put together a budget to help us pay down the principal with any “windfalls” we receive (bonus, tax refund, etc.)

Thanks to all for helping me to think through.

Additionally, we WILL be putting our daughter into our parish’s Catholic school. The way our parish works is, you pay your tithe ( a certain percentage is required for your kids to go to school there)…but it’s what we should be giving the parish anyway. We figured out to work the amount we need to give to the parish into the budget, but then saw the “registration fee” and the cost of the uniforms. I was a little disheartened, but DH said he wanted her to go there and we’d find a way. Then, today I was calling to cancel the auto debit to our checking account for our current mortgage because we signed papers…it’s paid off and I didn’t want them to take the money out and they informed me that we’d get a refund of the deduction they had already taken this month (bi-weekly deductions…but then they don’t pay the payment until the 1st)…check this out: this refund we will get will help us to pay the registration fees and buy the uniforms…at least the bare minimum she needs to get started. I was so happy to find that out!

So, it looks like we are getting things under control and hopefully going to come out ok in the end.
 
Well, I have an update.

We decided to refinance our home…put the two mortgages together along with the car. Our payment will go down a couple hundred dollars each month and we have put together a budget to help us pay down the principal with any “windfalls” we receive (bonus, tax refund, etc.)
Best decision by far. You will be thankful in the long run. You would have seen savings in the short term, but come tax time, you would have lost all the write off from your mortgage. Plus, as the Real Estate market starts to come back, which it will, you will have that equity you desire. Good for you.
 
Well, I have an update.

We decided to refinance our home…put the two mortgages together along with the car. Our payment will go down a couple hundred dollars each month and we have put together a budget to help us pay down the principal with any “windfalls” we receive (bonus, tax refund, etc.)

Thanks to all for helping me to think through.

Additionally, we WILL be putting our daughter into our parish’s Catholic school. The way our parish works is, you pay your tithe ( a certain percentage is required for your kids to go to school there)…but it’s what we should be giving the parish anyway. We figured out to work the amount we need to give to the parish into the budget, but then saw the “registration fee” and the cost of the uniforms. I was a little disheartened, but DH said he wanted her to go there and we’d find a way. Then, today I was calling to cancel the auto debit to our checking account for our current mortgage because we signed papers…it’s paid off and I didn’t want them to take the money out and they informed me that we’d get a refund of the deduction they had already taken this month (bi-weekly deductions…but then they don’t pay the payment until the 1st)…check this out: this refund we will get will help us to pay the registration fees and buy the uniforms…at least the bare minimum she needs to get started. I was so happy to find that out!

So, it looks like we are getting things under control and hopefully going to come out ok in the end.
My dad always says “The Lord will provide.”

I’m glad you got things going in the right direction. I’m sure it’s a big weight off your shoulders. 👍
 
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