Constant bickering/fighting in Marriage

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numbersman

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Would she agree to go to marriage counseling?

As far as kicking you out of the house when she is mad…That is just crazy. If she is so mad, she should be the one leaving, not you. Why would you even agree to that? That is totally irrational on her part.

It sounds to me as if your wife has anger issues unconnected to you. (Yelling at strangers over a parking space? 😳) Anger management would help, but perhaps that suggestion would be better coming from a counselor, and not you.

I hope you apologized for slapping her.
 
Hi,
Her behavior is very irrational. At this point counseling is not even going to help because she refuses to accept responsibility.

I leave because it’s my way of letting have her space, and I am also agitated so to need to breathe as well. I do agree that it is not a solution, and is unhealthy for us and our kids…

Yes, I did apologize for slapping her and bought her Rose’s later that day…

I am at my wits end.
 
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numbersman said:
At this point counseling is not even going to help because she refuses to accept responsibility.
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How can you give up before you’ve even started? And, you can still go to marriage counseling yourself even if she doesn’t go with you. That’s a start.
 
I don’t even have the energy at this point to go to counseling on my own. The underlying issue is that my wife wants control and I do give in and try to be sensitive to her but it is exhausting and has gotten to the point where I don’t feel I can be myself anymore.

I lash at times and I do swear and get to point of name calling her (whore). It’s rough language, but it’s exactly how I feel now. The reason being is that a whore promises you something, but doesn’t deliver, or tries to charge you more for what you want beyond what you originally agreed upon. Well, that’s how I feel about my wife.
 
numbersman said:
I lash at times and I do swear and get to point of name calling her (whore). It’s rough language, but it’s exactly how I feel now. The reason being is that a whore promises you something, but doesn’t deliver, or tries to charge you more for what you want beyond what you originally agreed upon. Well, that’s how I feel about my wife.
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If this is what you call your wife, no wonder she is angry all the time. That is totally disrespectful toward her. Not only that, but your justification for calling her that is ridiculous. Your definition of whore seems to be tailored to explain your own anger, but you know that word will hurt her.

In your OP you painted the picture that your wife is the real problem, but it is clearer now that you both have issues. And now, when people are offering you advice, you want to throw up your hands and say it’s no use, and you have no energy for counseling. That is a cop out answer.

You owe it to your children to change the way you and your wife relate to each other because whether you want to believe it or not, your behavior affects them now, and in their future relationships.

As someone else already said, what were you expecting any of us to say? That your wife is horrible and you should divorce her and run? Not once in any of your posts have you mentioned God, or going to mass as a family or even alone. What part does your faith play in your family life?
 
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