Constant Fighting with my mom :(

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NguyenKimPhat

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Dear CAF,

I have tried very, very hard to get a long with my mom, but she is so verbally abusive to my father. She is constantly complaining. Even when my father takes a trip to the mall, she has her eye on him, like so controlling. When I spend a few dollars for myself - like 11 dollars for dinner, she get so mad and says horrible things to me. Yelling and constant fighting. Financial abuse. Emotional Abuse. Verbal Abuse.

My mom is like a dark shadow cloud hovering over my house.

In a few days, I will apply into college, and when I got into another fight today with my mom today, I secretly thought in my head, “I will be so relieved and happy if I am able to move away, out of this house, for college. I want out. I want to live away from her.”

My question is this: Was it is a SIN for me to have this thought in my head? Was it a sin for me to want to leave my mom for college? Do I have to confess this?
 
NguyenKimPhat said:
Dear CAF,

I have tried very, very hard to get a long with my mom, but she is so verbally abusive to my father. She is constantly complaining. Even when my father takes a trip to the mall, she has her eye on him, like so controlling. When I spend a few dollars for myself - like 11 dollars for dinner, she get so mad and says horrible things to me. Yelling and constant fighting. Financial abuse. Emotional Abuse. Verbal Abuse.

My mom is like a dark shadow cloud hovering over my house.

In a few days, I will apply into college, and when I got into another fight today with my mom today, I secretly thought in my head, “I will be so relieved and happy if I am able to move away, out of this house, for college. I want out. I want to live away from her.”

My question is this: Was it is a SIN for me to have this thought in my head? Was it a sin for me to want to leave my mom for college? Do I have to confess this?
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I’m not sure if anyone on the forum can actually tell you if it is sin or not. To begin with we don’t have the entire framework. That is we have only your view point which could be very valid. I recommend that you speak to a priest to ask if it is sinful.
However, I know that it can be painful to watch your father in this situation but he is your mom’s husband. The (in theory) head of the house and it is duty to deal with the situation.

Annie
 
Even if your mother wasn’t being abusive, I don’t think it is a sin to want to be away from someone you are having difficulty getting along with. It isn’t as if you wished harm to her, you just wished for a chance to get away. I think you are fine.
 
It would be bad to wish her harm, but it is no sin to wish to be out of a situation full of strife. Very often, running disagreements of one sort or another with one or both parents is the reason that adult children finally move out from home. After that distance is put in, the relationships very often improve dramatically!
 
Praying for you and your parents. I know what it’s like. Pray for your Mother, but don’t hang around.
 
I see no sinfulness in the desire of an adult to leave the household.
Nor does it seem sinful to me to wish to live apart from someone who causes strife and misery to you.
None the less, it is a good idea to consult a priest about it.
May the Lord God bless you and your parents.
 
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In between visiting Reconciliation with your Parish Priest that we normally undertake, if in doubt always ask for forgiveness to Jesus in a quiet room or place or through praying The Holy Rosary while focussing on His Stations of His Cross and what Jesus endured for us.

I would be including a prayer in The Holy Rosary for both your parents and thank God for His Blessings providing for you through the Parents He chose for you; regardless of how you have carried your Crosses with your Mother. Offer up your Crosses to Jesus throughout your Life during The Holy Rosary and for Healing from your Mother’s negative and abusive behaviour after you have left home with the distance between you both.

Love and best wishes for College Child of Christ
 
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