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gprescott

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Hi, I would appreciate any (name removed by moderator)ut into an issue I am struggling with.

I did post this previously in the wrong forum…

My daughter has attended the same Catholic school for the past 7 years, she is now in 8th grade. Recently the Msgr. said that all students attending the school fill out a homily report which was due every Monday. Initially, I had some issues with this request, but decided that all and all it was not a bad thing.

Two weeks later I receive a form letter regarding our record of contributions, which is not unusual but there is an insert, that basically states " As of this past July we are asking a minimum $10.00 (every Sunday) contribution from every family in our school. We do not want inability to pay to keep any child out of school, but in order for your child to receive their first quarter report card, we ask that you become current with your contribution, if not please call…"

Please, Please give me your insight on this…it is an issue for me, and I keep hoping that someone can give me a different perspective on it than the one I keep seeing!!

This is an issue for now and today…in two weeks I need to decide
what I want to do…talk to Msgr. in person…“pay up the rest that I am behind” and shut up about it…etc. etc…

Respectfully and in Christ’s Love

Gwen Prescott
 
Personally, I would be very irritated by being pressured to give a minimum “contribution” every week.
 
was this a form letter, or directed specifically at you? is this a new requirement for those attending the parish school, or have parents always been expected to support the parish, and this might be the first time they are enforcing it or checking up on it.

This issue came up in a public way in Cleveland a couple of years ago, widely reported in the Plain Dealer. A suburban pastor sent out letters reminding parents of school children that they are required to attend Sunday Mass, and that the only way he has to see if you are attending is by the weekly envelopes. He also reminded them that when they enrolled their children, they promised to support the parish.

In the letter he clearly stated that while he was not expecting people to pay up their “arrears” he definitely wanted a way to make sure familes are attending Mass with their children.

The uproar was amazing. Instead of talking to the pastor, the family went directly to the newspaper, who published a week long expose, very one-sided, pastor did tell his side of the story but it was lost in the shuffle.

$10 is a very minimal amount. When my kids started at St Jerome in 1974 we were expected to give $2 a week in the collection, in addition to tuition, since the parish subsidizes the school. Parents are expected to support the entire parish, and the parish is expected to support the school.
 
"We do not want inability to pay to keep any child out of school, but in order for your child to receive their first quarter report card, we ask that you become current with your contribution, if not please call…"
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I’m not questioning the sincerety of the poster, but I find it very difficult to believe this wording is found in any document sent out by a Catholic school. Perhaps this was someone’s idea of a joke.
 
My parish has a good school. Families “join” the church just so their kids will be put at the head of the line for admission. Many of these these families just disappear, leaving the contributing congregation to pick up the tab for the school. Considering how far below cost a parochial school usually charges, I do not think it the LEAST bit unreasonable for a parish to set a minimum weekly contribution for those who can afford it – and most people CAN, they just don’t think they can. How much are they spending per month on cable TV?
 
The Barrister:
I’m not questioning the sincerety of the poster, but I find it very difficult to believe this wording is found in any document sent out by a Catholic school. Perhaps this was someone’s idea of a joke.
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No not a joke!!! I you would like I will send you a copy of The letters I received… Trust me I thought it was a joke, when I first read it!
The part in quotes is exactly the way I received it! And I could not believe it…basically I see Jesus standing in heaven holding my daughters report card saying “payUp” I don’t think so!!
Respectfully and honestly submitted
Gwen
 
Our parish school is heavily subsidized by the parish. Tuition is a sliding scale based on several factors. One of the lower tuition rates is if the family is a regular contributing member of the parish church (giving at least $10 a week). Unfortunately, some families claim they are regular members of the church in order to get the lower tuition but nobody ever sees them at Mass. Other parents who play be the rules and are honest, resent that the parents who are not regular contributing parishioners are not monitored. I don’t know what the situation is in your parish and school but something similar may be the going on.
 
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gprescott:
No not a joke!!! I you would like I will send you a copy of The letters I received… Trust me I thought it was a joke, when I first read it!
The part in quotes is exactly the way I received it! And I could not believe it…basically I see Jesus standing in heaven holding my daughters report card saying “payUp” I don’t think so!!
Respectfully and honestly submitted
Gwen
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That’s a shame, then. I would be pleased to write a letter to the bishop on your behalf. You can contact me through my website.

Re: Seeing Jesus standing in heaven holding your daughter’s report card and saying “pay up”: Although Jesus works through man, not all men are working for Jesus.
 
One of the precepts of the Church is that we contribute to the Church. Similarily, I understand that parishes usually subsidize schools attached to the parish and that some people may take advantage of this situation by sending their kids to the school, but not supporting the parish. Nevertheless, I have deep concerns about pastors or schools gettting too pushy in requiring parents to donate to the parish. I am familiar with a few cases where something like this has happened, and it has bothered me.
 
I think stating an amount was “tacky”, but to say we need to envelopes to be collected everyweek would be ok.
 
Just to play the advocate here…

Perhaps they’re trying to teach the children the fifth precept of the church?
 
I went through 16 years of Catholic education. After the 8th grade, I helped pay for my schooling, due to my father’s illness.

My parish has just built a school, and though I have no children who would attend it, I am supporting the school with a montly pledge.

Money is such a sore subject. I have no idea what your montly budget is like, and whether your children receive tuition assistance or not. However, in the overall scale of things, it doesn’t seem that the monsignor is entirley out of line.

There are three sources, generally, for a Catholic school to fund its operating costs: tuition from students (parents); fund raising by the School Board (and, perhaps, student fundraising as part of that), and by the parish.

That third source, parish, can be the difficult one. Previous comments in this thread set out the problem of people “joining” and not contributing. That is (pick your phrase) unjust, immoral wrong, unethical… and about the only way to determine if someone truly has joined is if they donate.

The church does not follow a strict interpretaion of “tithing”, and $10/ week would indicate only making $100/week if we were strict. I don’t know your family circumstances, but if you truly cannot donate $10/week, then the whole issue could be resovled by speaking with your pastor.

Just for yucks, assuming a household income of $36,000/year, $10/week works out to 1.4% of your gross income. With a gross income of $24,000/year, it is 2.167% of income. And yes, I understand that there are other bills, and you pay tuition…

Just some thoughts.
 
I reintroduce my callous question – not aimed at the OP – for consideration when assessing levels of giving to the parish.

How much per month do you pay for cable TV? How much do you spend per month on lottery tickets? If you spend on both of these things and your pledge to the Church does not equal that amount, what does that say about your priorities?
 
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mercygate:
I reintroduce my callous question – not aimed at the OP – for consideration when assessing levels of giving to the parish.

How much per month do you pay for cable TV? How much do you spend per month on lottery tickets? If you spend on both of these things and your pledge to the Church does not equal that amount, what does that say about your priorities?
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Well said. My wife’s work has decreased over the last six months and things are getting VERY tight. Dinners out have decreased. We got rid of a cell phone and now share one cell phone between us (at less than half the price). Taking more lunches to work now. Kids are taking lunch more often now. Satellite TV gone. Repairing old vehicles rather than buying new.

Church donations have stayed the same.
 
I wish to thank all of you that have responded…it is much appreciated…I did write another post but I must not have sent it correctly… I have prayed for God’s guidence in this matter for the last 2 weeks…that I do what is correct…and not feel righteousness where I have no right.

Yes, the school does use a “sliding scale” so to speak…you let them know what you think you can agree to each year…and then stick to it…and I am forever grateful for this…I had been a single parent to my almost 14 year old for almost 10 years…as far as money goes…hahaha…I have never had two dimes to rub together…I lost my home…my job…etc…yes…a hard luck story…but its tough
to feel bad for not giving more when I would come home and my electric would be turned off…and I would have to face my daughter…so nuff said…I am remarried and things are much better than that now…but still very tough…My husband and I work very hard to just make ends meet…he drives a car with 210,000 miles and mine has 160,000…I’m not trying to garner sympathy…(hmmm or maybe I am) but we are by no means wealthy…its not about the money…really it is the principal…what a cliche!
We moved about 1 1/2 ago to a town that is 35 miles away…I drive my daughter to school every day…We do attend the church here in town more frequently…but I will not lie…perhaps I am a very bad Catholic…I do not always attend mass…there have been times where I attended 2 times a week…and others…not so much…I know there is no excuse… but I have tried to be involved as I could…and my daughter was an alter server for almost 2 years until we moved here…Does Msgr. really care if my soul is where it should be…or does he just want money? $130.00 is not alot of money…if I quit smoking…wow,and if I didnt buy any lottery tickets ever…etc…I would have alot more…but I didnt know that I had to answer to Msgr.??

Just a thought…My brother attends Mass every week…but he has no problem overcharging our Mother for work that hes done…
I dont know…I have been giving my mother close to $50.00 a week because she was forced out of her job and is waiting on senior housing…does this count??

Sorry for rambling…
Peace,
Gwen
 
Also if money is really tight, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you vaccuming up a bit after Mass as an offering. 😉
 
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gprescott:
. Recently the Msgr. said that all students attending the school fill out a homily report which was due every Monday. . . . we ask that you become current with your contribution, if not please call…"
,
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sounds like he is trying to encourage and assure that every student attends Mass, which the teachers and parents evidently have not been able to do up until now. He also is asking for minimal support for the parish, and honoring of past pledges of support. He also says “call me” which indicates he is will to discuss anyone’s personal situation that makes it difficult to contribute at this level. Why not just do what he says, call and make an appointment, share your difficulties, and ask about non-monetary ways you can support the school and parish. Also assure him that your children will be attending Mass with you every week.
 
Everyone has made some very good observations…thank you…I think I was very offended by the wording of the insert…Must I explain that I don’t normally use my weekly envelope? I always thought they were for tax purposes only! Of course I will use them now. And explain to him that we do attend the church in town more often now than the one my daughter goes to school…so we are kind of in limbo between two parishes (which is a whole different issue)
I am sure you are correct, he does want to make sure that we are attending Mass as often as possible, and this is not unreasonable.
I do plan on calling him…but I found the letter sooo distasteful, I guess it ruffled my feathers, so to speak. If I had the time to help more at the church I would, but between driving over 120 miles a day back and forth to school…and did I forget to mention that the new husband and I were blessed at ages 41 and 50 with a little one? I clean houses on Saturdays and during the week if I can get my Mom to watch the 17 month old. Well I do go on…basically I don’t know if Msgr. put a whole lot of thought and prayer into what he thinks is a good idea…Personally I have a problem with the whole idea on many different levels…
and the money is the least of them…It just seemed so negative, so unchristian, so yuk!
thanks for listening
Peace
Gwen
 
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