Convalidation Issue

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BettyBoop416 said:
No, they do not have children. Still, while it wouldn’t be a financial hardship for this particular couple, it would certainly be an inconvenience for the husband to relocate for six months. Not to mention the fact that he regards it as totally unreasonable and unnecessary.
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And I, as a faithful, orthodox Catholic, agree with your friend’s husband 100%. It is unreasonable and unnecessary in their specific circumstances, for all the reasons my above rants conveyed.
BettyBoop416 said:
BTW, the new priest is very young and proudly regards himself as being a “hardcore Catholic.” Now, I realize that it’s part of his job description to enforce the rules, but I’ve heard that he has painted himself into a corner on a few previous occasions by refusing to be even a little flexible. Hopefully this will be a learning experience for everyone.
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Indeed. Being a “hardcore Catholic” and being pastorally sensitive are not mutually exclusive. Like others in this thread, I highly suspect that this rule is of his own devising, and if that’s true, he’s definitely not obligated to enforce it…
BettyBoop416 said:
Thanks to all who responded. I’ll provide updates as they develop.
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Thank you. May God bless you and your friends, and I hope it all turns out well. 🙂
 
I just went through my marriage convalidation in March. It’s a snap if the priest wants the two of you to minister the Sacrament to one another. My first suggestion is to put your law books away, and do what the priest requires you to do. The process is not written in stone, plus both the Parish Parochial Adminstrator and Diocese must approve it.

Common sence says that if both of you have been active members of that parish for at least six months, and have shown yourselves friendly towards the Priests and Deacons, things should go smoothly. Plus, both parties should be baptized Christians who are active in their Protestant Church with at least one active in a Catholic Parish. Let’s face it, how could a non Christian understand the Sacrament of Marriage (Covenant that is being made before God) without first going through RCIA?

Of course, there are many exceptions to the rules, but it would be a lot simpler to just be Catholics like the rest of us. A lot less expensive too.
 
johndoe100 said:
I just went through my marriage convalidation in March. It’s a snap if the priest wants the two of you to minister the Sacrament to one another. **My first suggestion is to put your law books away, and do what the priest requires you to do. ** The process is not written in stone, plus both the Parish Parochial Adminstrator and Diocese must approve it.

Common sence says that if both of you have been active members of that parish for at least six months, and have shown yourselves friendly towards the Priests and Deacons, things should go smoothly. Plus, both parties should be baptized Christians who are active in their Protestant Church with at least one active in a Catholic Parish. Let’s face it, how could a non Christian understand the Sacrament of Marriage (Covenant that is being made before God) without first going through RCIA?

Of course, there are many exceptions to the rules, but it would be a lot simpler to just be Catholics like the rest of us. A lot less expensive too.
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What???

Really???

So since the priest is recommending that the couple, after being civilly married for 10 years, should rent another place and live apart for six months, you think that is a good idea???

Sorry, that sounds crazy.
 
maryjk said:
What???

Really???

So since the priest is recommending that the couple, after being civilly married for 10 years, should rent another place and live apart for six months, you think that is a good idea???

Sorry, that sounds crazy.
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Catholics are not to marry divorced people (Mark 10:1-10), so it was the priest’s call whether to give them plenty of time to repent. Catholics arebnot to marry outside the Church, more time required to repent, etc, etc.
 
My DH and I are also going through the convalidation process. We married civilly because my DH is from Mexico and we could not wait the 6 months our parish requires to get married. The immigration process already takes years. We have been trying to get this done since my DH finally got his green card, but we have had to move several times and are just now being able to make some progress on this. We have two children and I am completely dependant on him financially. Not to mention, if we do not live together as husband and wife the immigration officials will declare our marriage a fraud and revoke his green card. It would be impossible for us to follow a requirement to separate for 6 months!
 
Hello Mt_gooseberry,

If neither of you have been divorced, please don’t apply divorse problems to your convalidation. Divorce is not permitted in the Roman Catholic Church, and all previous marriages including civil are valid Sacraments because if Canon 1055.

Your case sounds simular to ours. Neither my wife nor I have ever been divorced, plus we were baptized and raised as Roman Catholic. It was a simple matter to get our Baptism Certificate and have both of our mothers sign a document saying that we have been practicing Cathloics all of our lives while attending Mass regularly.

It took about 2 weeks to complete the paper work, and another week to get a chapel opening for our wedding. We were not required to sleep in separate bedrooms because the priest didn’t require it. Each case is different, and if the priest is convinced that you and your husband are not abusing the system it will be taken care of quicker that you think. Send for your husbands baptism certificate now. That Cathloic Baptism, First Communion, and Confirmation is what the priest wants to see laid in front of him. Those papers must be presented to the Diocese or he will be in hot water for marring you.
 
Just a quick update for anyone who might be interested…

After mass last Sunday the above mentioned priest asked my friend to stay behind for a moment. After saying good-bye to the other parishioners he and my friend took a stroll through the church garden and had a very productive chat. Long story short, he told her that he “prayed several times about your situation and have come to the conclusion that asking you to separate from your legal husband was not the right thing to do.” He asked my friend to “conduct yourself prayerfully,” and he offered his assistance in helping her prepare for the convalidation of her marriage.

When she got home to talk to her husband (who had uncharacteristically refused to attend mass with her that day), he wasn’t particularly impressed. However, after a few days he has started to come around. It appears that this situation is on it’s way to a happy ending.

Thanks to all who shared their thoughts.
 
Wonderful news.

I prayed for your friend and the situation.

So glad God has spoken to the priest.

Mek
 
BettyBoop416 said:
Just a quick update for anyone who might be interested…

After mass last Sunday the above mentioned priest asked my friend to stay behind for a moment. After saying good-bye to the other parishioners he and my friend took a stroll through the church garden and had a very productive chat. Long story short, he told her that he “prayed several times about your situation and have come to the conclusion that asking you to separate from your legal husband was not the right thing to do.” He asked my friend to “conduct yourself prayerfully,” and he offered his assistance in helping her prepare for the convalidation of her marriage.

When she got home to talk to her husband (who had uncharacteristically refused to attend mass with her that day), he wasn’t particularly impressed. However, after a few days he has started to come around. It appears that this situation is on it’s way to a happy ending.

Thanks to all who shared their thoughts.
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What a relief!

Thanks for the update, Betty. I’m glad things are moving in a positive direction. I’m so relieved and grateful that the priest realized that asking them to separate wasn’t right.
 
After reading several posts I have a Convalidation question as well. Sorry if I overlooked the answer in another post.

Prior to marriage I was introduced to the Catholic faith by a soon to be inlaw.

My husband and were married in my living room by a Protestant Preacher.

After marriage and the christening of our first chiId I attended mass regularly and even began RCIA classes I had a few Church beliefs I couldn’t get an explanation that I could understand well enough to be able to accept.

Both my husband and I were baptized in the Protestant Faith.

After seeing the church I attend continue to become more and more liberal we decided we needed to make a change. So after more researching of the Catholic Faith, soul searching and finally having the previous looming questions finally explained to me in a way that made sense ( you know the Aha moment), I have recently returned to Mass.

I intend to begin RCIA in the Fall. Since my husband and I are already baptized at what point in the process will we be able to go through the Convalidation process. I do not know if my husband will be going through RCIA with me or not at this point, but he is very supportive of me.
 
houseofsaul said:
Since my husband and I are already baptized at what point in the process will we be able to go through the Convalidation process.
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You and your husband are validly married. There is no convalidation process to go through. Convalidation is for people with invalid marriages.
 
Okay thanks…guess I was misinformed on another forum when it was told we would have to go through the process. Also thought it was correct since my inlaws had to go through it when she went through RCIA in 1988 even though they were married in a church of Protestant faith and had both been baptized previously as well.
 
houseofsaul said:
Okay thanks…guess I was misinformed on another forum when it was told we would have to go through the process. Also thought it was correct since my inlaws had to go through it when she went through RCIA in 1988 even though they were married in a church of Protestant faith and had both been baptized previously as well.
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The specifics of their situation might have been different.

Of course, I am going off what you said: you and your husband are both baptized Protestants. I take that to mean neither of you were baptized Catholic as infants. This also assumes this is the only marriage for either of you. If there are other circumstances you did not list here, then of course that might change the situation.

When you go to RCIA the director or the priest will do an interview to review everything. If you and your husband were both baptized protestants with no prior marriages, you are validly married and there is no convalidation involved.
 
You’ll talk to your priest as part of the process of becoming Catholic and all, as 1ke says. Even if, for whatever reason, you do have to undertake the process, things’ll be spiffy either way.

Welcome home!
 
It’s not all legalism! If the priest wants you back and thinks you guys have repented enough it’s a snap. My wife and I were told to make reservations for the chapel during the first meeting, but we had all our papers with us. Remember the Parish Administrator must approve it, so there has to be paper.
 
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