Convalidation of Our Marriage

[Kjnw4831]

Why is it necessary to get our marriage convalidated? I recently came back to the church and I want to get my marriage convalidated, but my husband thinks it is stupid. How can I explain to him the importance of it? He is not Catholic and doesn’t really have a relationship with God. (He says he believes, but he has no desire to have a relationship with God or go to church.)

I have been going to Mass and not receiving the Eucharist and I hate it. I want so badly to receive but I know that I can’t until we are married in the church.

Please help!

 

[Usige]

The short answer is speak to your pastor.

That being said, I assume you were Catholic at the time you married but did not receive dispensation to marry a non-Catholic outside of the Church. If those were the only defects and all other requirements for marriage were meet (first marriage for both of you with, intent to enter a lifelong union open the the possibility of children, etc. etc.) Then it is possible to request a radical sanation.

A convalidation involves a new exchange of consent and the Church would consider your marriage valid from that point forward, but not since the original attempt at marriage. If your husband refuses to exchange vows then a convalidation isn’t possible. A radical sanation on the otherhand retroactively dispenses the impediment and would make your marriage valid from the first. As such your husband would not need to be involved. Depending on the diocese it could be as simple as a meeting or two with your pastor and his requesting the sanation from the Bishop. Some diocese must have enough requests, because they have a 2 or 3 page form with check boxes (Lack of Form - Spouse refuses convalidation. Defect of Form - Spouse refuses … spouse refuses… [notice a pattern here? ])

 

[Kjnw4831]

The short answer is speak to your pastor.

That being said, I assume you were Catholic at the time you married but did not receive dispensation to marry a non-Catholic outside of the Church. If those were the only defects and all other requirements for marriage were meet (first marriage for both of you with, intent to enter a lifelong union open the the possibility of children, etc. etc.) Then it is possible to request a radical sanation.

A convalidation involves a new exchange of consent and the Church would consider your marriage valid from that point forward, but not since the original attempt at marriage. If your husband refuses to exchange vows then a convalidation isn’t possible. A radical sanation on the otherhand retroactively dispenses the impediment and would make your marriage valid from the first. As such your husband would not need to be involved. Depending on the diocese it could be as simple as a meeting or two with your pastor and his requesting the sanation from the Bishop. Some diocese must have enough requests, because they have a 2 or 3 page form with check boxes (Lack of Form - Spouse refuses convalidation. Defect of Form - Spouse refuses … spouse refuses… [notice a pattern here? ])

Thank you for all that information! I was planning on going to talk to him tomorrow anyways so I will definitely ask about a sanation.

 

[Gorgias]

The short answer is speak to your pastor.

That being said…

Kjnw,

Usige gives you a good short answer (and a thorough long answer). The long answer reads – to my mind – like one of those tech manuals written in ten foreign languages, which cause my head to start spinning. It’s accurate, but hard to read.

Suffice it to say that there are a couple options open to you. If you and your husband are able to have a valid marriage in the Church (that is, if you’re not already considered to be married in the eyes of the Church and are free to marry each other), then there’s one option that allows you to ‘walk down the aisle’ and express your vows to one another in the Church. There’s another option, too: if your spouse doesn’t want to “walk down the aisle”, there’s an option that allows for your marriage to be declared valid in the Church without another ceremony.

Talk to your pastor – he’ll be able to confirm that one of these options is possible, and will walk you through the process.

Blessings,
G.