Conversion and marriage

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Vendersheim

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I will get right to the point.
I was baptised in the Lutheran Church and my wife was baptised as a Catholic. She has since left the church and chose to be baptised into a Protestant Church (Nazarene), before we even met. I am 100% sure I want to become a Catholic and have been for a long time, however I have a few questions…

Is our marriage valid in the eyes of the Church, and would we need a Catholic ceremony?

Does her rejection of Catholicism inhibit my conversion?

And finally, we have a child together and I would eventually want her to be baptised Catholic, if my wife refuses to allow it, can I have it done anyway for the benefit of my daughter?
 
Catholics have to be married according to Catholic form. Since your wife was not practicing her Catholic faith at the time, I’m guessing this didn’t happen. There are options for bringing your marriage into the Church which your pastor can explain.

Whether or not your wife returns to the Church wouldn’t hold you back from becoming Catholic.

Baptizing your children against the wishes of your wife is something the two of you would need to decide. I know I’ve seen threads here on this topic so you may want to search and see what you can uncover.
 
Whether your marriage is valid isn’t for us to say; you didn’t provide enough information, but discuss it with a priest. (I would guess not, but it’s strictly a guess.)

There’s nothing in the Church’s purview to prohibit you from conversion or baptizing your daughter, but your wife’s unhappiness with the situation is not something to discount. It needs careful, prayerful consideration along the way.

Talk to your priest.
 
Vendersheim said:
Is our marriage valid in the eyes of the Church
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Probably not. Catholics are required to marry in Catholic form or receive a dispensation from form. If you did not prepare for marriage with a Catholic priest, and I’m assuming since she left the Church before you met this is the case, then no your marriage isn’t currently valid.
Vendersheim said:
and would we need a Catholic ceremony?
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It would need convalidation. This happens through either simple convalidation (new exchange of consent in Catholic form) or radical sanation (an action of the bishop that makes your marriage valid back to the original exchange of consent). Talk to your pastor about this. If she is unwilling to give new consent, radical sanation may be possible for you.
Vendersheim said:
Does her rejection of Catholicism inhibit my conversion?
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No. It shouldn’t.
Vendersheim said:
we have a child together and I would eventually want her to be baptised Catholic, if my wife refuses to allow it, can I have it done anyway for the benefit of my daughter?
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Baptism into the Church requires the permission of one parent. However, a pastoral decision is also involved and if your pastor thinks it is a bad idea if your wife is against the baptism, he may postpone it.

And if by “eventually” you mean after the child is 7 or older, then it is no longer your decision. Once the child is over the age of reason, the child must ask for baptism and make their own profession of faith. You may ask for baptism only when a child is below 7 years old (approximately, it’s “age of reason” which is generally 7 years old).
 
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Thanks for the replies! I am scheduling a meeting with my local Priest to discuss everything but I wanted to prepare myself a bit so I am very appreciative if the responses.

Our daughter is not even a year old and when I say ‘eventually’ I still mean as soon as it is possible. I hope that over time my wife will soften her stance on me becoming Catholic as well as our daughters potential baptism, but who knows. I am assuming she will never come around though and don’t want to prioritize her feelings over the salvation of our daughter.
 
You are right, it’s a very conplicated situation. I just wish I converted before marriage to make things easier. I will talk with my Priest and pray my wife comes around and ask for your prayers as well!
 
Very good point. Is baptism not necessary for salvation though? And shouldn’t that take priority if push comes to shove? I love my wife and will talk to her and give her time, but I am just not overly optimistic.
 
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I agree that baptizing your child without your wife’s consent could really undermine your marriage and her faith and trust in you. Would it be possible for the two of you to attend the “Enquirer” part of RCIA where you can meet with the catechist and ask all the questions you want? If your wife was not raised Catholic or wasn’t well catechised she might have hostility about issues that once she heard Catholic teaching she might find are not an impediment after all.

I think the most important thing is to love and respect your wife as Christ loves the church. Your faith should never prevent you being a good husband and father. Pray for her and always be kind and understanding. Faith is a gift so don’t judge her harshly for not being in the same place spiritually. Be grateful that she is a believing Christian as you have so much common ground. Pray together every day, if she will consent and don’t introduce anything obviously “Catholic” such as the rosary without her full consent.
 
Vendersheim said:
Very good point. Is baptism not necessary for salvation though? And shouldn’t that take priority if push comes to shove? I love my wife and will talk to her and give her time, but I am just not overly optimistic.
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With all due respect, I think you need to work a little harder on trusting your God. To baptize your daughter behind your wife’s back would be deceitful and ugly. God wouldn’t like that, I am betting.
 
I agree and to be clear all of this is still hypothetical. Like I said, I am going to discuss everything with my Priest. She may not have a problem after she has more time to digest everything. I would never do anything behind her back and didn’t mean to imply that I would.
 
Thank you for the thought out response, you are not wrong at all.
 
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