Conversion outside of RCIA

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LondonConvert

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Hi there!

I’m new to the forums and thought I’d post my story as in my own search to find my way to the Church took many twists and turns and in my initial enquiries, I was discouraged by some of the answers I found to my questions online. I just wanted to share my story to give hope to others, to ask for prayers as I begin my journey and to ask a few questions I have.

So, I was born into a mixed family faith wise. My parents aren’t religious at all but came from a Catholic heritage on my paternal side and a Jewish heritage on my maternal side. No faith was practiced at all, we celebrated Easter and Christmas in a secular way (if there is such a thing!) but attending Anglican services at school was the nearest I came to Jesus. When I was about 10, a school teacher I had introduced us to the stories of the bible and in secondary school, we receieved a copy of the New Testament from the Gideon Society. Well, from there I was determined to be a Christian. It took me a while to find my way to Catholicism, that happened about three years ago. I was watching the news and I saw Pope Benedict giving a speech in which he spoke about the importance of faith among young people - and from there on, I wanted to know everything I could about Catholicism. I began to attend mass but didn’t even know about RCIA until much later. Fast forward a little, I found my way to EWTN and watching “Mother Angelica Live”, I was in doubt at all that I had to become a Catholic, join the Holy Mother Church and most importantly, receieve the Blessed Sacrament.

As a teacher, I tend to travel around a fair bit on short placements (3 months here, 6 months there) and so I never seemed to be around to join RCIA in September. I was always faced with taking a job that would cut my course short and it really began to discourage me. I still went to mass, I still prayed the rosary each day but it seemed to me an impossible cause. Enter St Rita! I found out about St Rita via EWTN and so I began praying for her intercession in helping me to come to the Church. I contacted my local priest and explained the situation I was in. After conferring with the administrator of the church, I was given permission to begin receieving private instruction for my eventual reception into the church. I begin classes next week. I can’t you tell a) what a relief it is and b) how blessed I feel! My prayers really have been answered. It’s even more wonderful considering that this year is a Year of Faith.

Now, I wanted to share this because my initial enquiries were always met with the same response; “RCIA is the only way” and “Exceptions are hardly ever made”. I was so discouraged and almost gave up entirely. Not everyone can attend RCIA and whilst it’s the best way to enter the church, I wanted to let others in similar circumstances that all is not lost. Find a good priest and he’ll help you. I’ve been studying the catechism, church history and Catholicism in general for a long time now but finally, I am coming home to the church I love. I have some questions though and I was wondering if people could help.

Firstly, I know that RCIA members have to choose a sponsor. I have no Catholic friends or practising family members. Will one be provided for me? I also read that I will have to choose a confirmation name but other sources say that isn’t done anymore. I’d be sad if it isn’t, I’m hoping that I can choose the name Benedict as my confirmation name for obvious reasons! Lastly, if I am not recieving instruction in my local parish, do I need to “register” after I have been confirmed?

Many thanks in advance and God bless!
 
Greetings!

RCIA is, indeed, the normative process for people coming into the Church. But pastors do have some discretion – as you have discovered! – to arrange for alternative instruction based on individual circumstances. I am so glad that you have been able to move forward!

As for your questions…there is some variance between parishes and dioceses, so your best bet is to ask your priest or catechists where you are receiving instruction. But based on my own experiences as a convert here in the United States:
  1. Some parishes encourage people to choose their own sponsors, some assign them, and some do a mix…but whichever way your parish does it, the leaders/priests should be able to provide a sponsor if needed. In my own home parish, we encourage RCIA folks to arrange their own sponsors, but will assign/provide one for people who don’t know anybody suitable.
  2. I have heard of places where confirmation names are no longer used, but my understanding is that it’s still a very common practice. When I was confirmed in 2009, it was in the name of Saint Maximilian Kolbe. Again though, you should ask the leaders at your parish what the norm is. And even if the norm is to not use confirmation names, maybe you can ask them to make an exception! But don’t be discouraged if they won’t. You can build a devotion to a saint whether or not you are confirmed in his/her name.
  3. You should normally register at your local parish, unless you have some strong reason to register elsewhere. If you are receiving preparation at your local parish, they will probably register you automatically when you receive the Sacraments…unless you arrange to register elsewhere. There’s no strict rule on this, at least not in the U.S., and many people register at a parish that isn’t their geographical parish for various reason – some good, some not so good ;). I recommend that you register at whichever parish you will be making your own – attending Mass, participating in the life of the parish, and making any monetary gifts you choose to make. And I recommend that people be ‘biased’ toward their geographical parish and make it their own, as a general rule.
Like I said though, some of this differs from place to place. I’m guessing from your forum name and some word spelling that you are in the U.K. … so some of these norms may be different from those across the pond here in the U.S.

God bless you, and best wishes on your journey home to the Catholic Church!
 
I just really wanted to say thank you for posting this - it has given me tremendous hope. I actually grew up Protestant and was very active in my church as a teenager, but fell away as an adult. During a particularly emotional time about three years ago, I turned back to Jesus (as so often seems to happen), and have been undeniably led to the Catholic Church since. After meeting some stern resistance from my mother and husband, I questioned everything yet again and struggled spiritually while still studying (literally DEVOURING) everything I could find on the Catholic Church and the similarities and differences between what I was always taught as a Protestant. I have found that many unanswered questions have been answered and an extreme comfort to my soul in praying the Rosary daily and in going to Mass on Sunday when I can.

However, my husband is a complete atheist and is dead set against me believing in God at all, much less going to Mass and saying daily prayers, even going as far as telling me he considers it “morally wrong” since he adamantly doesn’t believe. He ridicules me (and quite cruelly at that) for my faith and has even forbidden me from so much as TALKING about God to our 6 year old son. He has told me that if I continue on the path I am on, he can’t guarantee that we will stay married. When I confront him with this, he says he is not threatening me, he is simply stating a fact and that life is all about the choices we make. Needless to say, I am at a loss. I’m scared to lose my family, but I can’t bear to turn away from God again … not after everything I’ve learned and come to believe wholeheartedly. My soul literally feels as though it is tearing in shreds that I simply cannot get to RCIA for Confirmation. I can’t even get to weekly Mass without fearing the retribution from my husband! I deeply desire Confirmation and being able to participate in the Eucharist - I just don’t know how it will happen, so I pray. Constantly.

Needless to say, I found your story very inspiring. It gives me great hope that there may be a way for me as well! 🙂

I so needed to read this. Thank you and God bless you! You will be in my prayers!
 
LondonConvert said:
Hi there!

I’m new to the forums and thought I’d post my story as in my own search to find my way to the Church took many twists and turns and in my initial enquiries, I was discouraged by some of the answers I found to my questions online. I just wanted to share my story to give hope to others, to ask for prayers as I begin my journey and to ask a few questions I have.

So, I was born into a mixed family faith wise. My parents aren’t religious at all but came from a Catholic heritage on my paternal side and a Jewish heritage on my maternal side. No faith was practiced at all, we celebrated Easter and Christmas in a secular way (if there is such a thing!) but attending Anglican services at school was the nearest I came to Jesus. When I was about 10, a school teacher I had introduced us to the stories of the bible and in secondary school, we receieved a copy of the New Testament from the Gideon Society. Well, from there I was determined to be a Christian. It took me a while to find my way to Catholicism, that happened about three years ago. I was watching the news and I saw Pope Benedict giving a speech in which he spoke about the importance of faith among young people - and from there on, I wanted to know everything I could about Catholicism. I began to attend mass but didn’t even know about RCIA until much later. Fast forward a little, I found my way to EWTN and watching “Mother Angelica Live”, I was in doubt at all that I had to become a Catholic, join the Holy Mother Church and most importantly, receieve the Blessed Sacrament.

As a teacher, I tend to travel around a fair bit on short placements (3 months here, 6 months there) and so I never seemed to be around to join RCIA in September. I was always faced with taking a job that would cut my course short and it really began to discourage me. I still went to mass, I still prayed the rosary each day but it seemed to me an impossible cause. Enter St Rita! I found out about St Rita via EWTN and so I began praying for her intercession in helping me to come to the Church. I contacted my local priest and explained the situation I was in. After conferring with the administrator of the church, I was given permission to begin receieving private instruction for my eventual reception into the church. I begin classes next week. I can’t you tell a) what a relief it is and b) how blessed I feel! My prayers really have been answered. It’s even more wonderful considering that this year is a Year of Faith.

Now, I wanted to share this because my initial enquiries were always met with the same response; “RCIA is the only way” and “Exceptions are hardly ever made”. I was so discouraged and almost gave up entirely. Not everyone can attend RCIA and whilst it’s the best way to enter the church, I wanted to let others in similar circumstances that all is not lost. Find a good priest and he’ll help you. I’ve been studying the catechism, church history and Catholicism in general for a long time now but finally, I am coming home to the church I love. I have some questions though and I was wondering if people could help.

Firstly, I know that RCIA members have to choose a sponsor. I have no Catholic friends or practising family members. Will one be provided for me? I also read that I will have to choose a confirmation name but other sources say that isn’t done anymore. I’d be sad if it isn’t, I’m hoping that I can choose the name Benedict as my confirmation name for obvious reasons! Lastly, if I am not recieving instruction in my local parish, do I need to “register” after I have been confirmed?

Many thanks in advance and God bless!
Click to expand...
Welcome Home! If you don’t have a sponsor in mind, the RCIA team can find one for you. The practice of having a confirmation name fell out of favor about 25 years ago, but is making a comeback; it will be up to the pastor if you will be allowed to choose one. Of course that does not stop you from praying to St. Benedict anyway! You normally register at the parish nearest your home or where you regularly attend, financially support and are involved in their activities. You can register now if you like.
 
Thankyou everyone for your kind words of welcome and your answers to my questions, they’ve clarified a few points for me and I’m really very grateful. It’s so kind of you to take the time to help and I’m so glad I found these forums already!

To christina118, I’m so sorry to hear of your circumstances and I’m glad that my story gave you some comfort. It sounds as if you’re really having a time of it. When I first enquired about an alternative to the RCIA, a deacon told me “following the Lord is never easy but it is always joyous!” - I hope that will bring you some comfort as it brought me. And if you haven’t already, have a look at the life of St Rita of Cascia - her circumstances may sound familiar to you and I have found her intercession to work wonders. I’ll keep you in my prayers and hope that you can be encouraged on your journey. God bless you. 🙂
 
My entry into the Church consisted of about two months of catechesis with Archbishop Chaput when he was in Denver. That’s it. I had (Protestant) graduate theology experience, and was a quick study. He gave me a CCC and told me to give him any questions I had (which I did).

I have heard so many doctrinal horror stories about RCIA catechesis. Given how junky Catholic catechesis has been generally, I can only imagine what goes on in so many parish RCIA groups. That said, however, there are literally thousands on this sight and across the country who were brought into the Church via RCIA and are vibrant, passionate Catholics. So who knows? If my quasi-Catholic wife ever decides to fully enter into communion with the Church, I’m hoping that our pastor will let me take care of the catechesis rather than putting her through RCIA.

I don’t say any of that to denigrate the RCIA process, which is indeed a good idea and a wonderful process of initiation. I only say that to point out the serious faults Catholic churches have with catechesis for young people and new converts. These converts are the most fiery, passionate Catholics you’ll find, and I don’t want bad catechesis to dampen that enthusiasm for God and His Church.
 
LondonConvert said:
Hi there!

I’m new to the forums and thought I’d post my story as in my own search to find my way to the Church took many twists and turns and in my initial enquiries, I was discouraged by some of the answers I found to my questions online. I just wanted to share my story to give hope to others, to ask for prayers as I begin my journey and to ask a few questions I have.

So, I was born into a mixed family faith wise. My parents aren’t religious at all but came from a Catholic heritage on my paternal side and a Jewish heritage on my maternal side. No faith was practiced at all, we celebrated Easter and Christmas in a secular way (if there is such a thing!) but attending Anglican services at school was the nearest I came to Jesus. When I was about 10, a school teacher I had introduced us to the stories of the bible and in secondary school, we receieved a copy of the New Testament from the Gideon Society. Well, from there I was determined to be a Christian. It took me a while to find my way to Catholicism, that happened about three years ago. I was watching the news and I saw Pope Benedict giving a speech in which he spoke about the importance of faith among young people - and from there on, I wanted to know everything I could about Catholicism. I began to attend mass but didn’t even know about RCIA until much later. Fast forward a little, I found my way to EWTN and watching “Mother Angelica Live”, I was in doubt at all that I had to become a Catholic, join the Holy Mother Church and most importantly, receieve the Blessed Sacrament.

As a teacher, I tend to travel around a fair bit on short placements (3 months here, 6 months there) and so I never seemed to be around to join RCIA in September. I was always faced with taking a job that would cut my course short and it really began to discourage me. I still went to mass, I still prayed the rosary each day but it seemed to me an impossible cause. Enter St Rita! I found out about St Rita via EWTN and so I began praying for her intercession in helping me to come to the Church. I contacted my local priest and explained the situation I was in. After conferring with the administrator of the church, I was given permission to begin receieving private instruction for my eventual reception into the church. I begin classes next week. I can’t you tell a) what a relief it is and b) how blessed I feel! My prayers really have been answered. It’s even more wonderful considering that this year is a Year of Faith.

Now, I wanted to share this because my initial enquiries were always met with the same response; “RCIA is the only way” and “Exceptions are hardly ever made”. I was so discouraged and almost gave up entirely. Not everyone can attend RCIA and whilst it’s the best way to enter the church, I wanted to let others in similar circumstances that all is not lost. Find a good priest and he’ll help you. I’ve been studying the catechism, church history and Catholicism in general for a long time now but finally, I am coming home to the church I love. I have some questions though and I was wondering if people could help.

Firstly, I know that RCIA members have to choose a sponsor. I have no Catholic friends or practising family members. Will one be provided for me? I also read that I will have to choose a confirmation name but other sources say that isn’t done anymore. I’d be sad if it isn’t, I’m hoping that I can choose the name Benedict as my confirmation name for obvious reasons! Lastly, if I am not recieving instruction in my local parish, do I need to “register” after I have been confirmed?

Many thanks in advance and God bless!
Click to expand...
You stated your questions very well. RCIA is " for round pegs that fit round holes." So people who cannot or do not want to attend RCIA should ask for help from a friendly priest who will provide the needed instruction. That is what my mother did in the 30s. RCIA is something relatively new. But some form of instruction has always been the norm. And I’m sure that priests would prefer that most instruction take place there.

Secondly, you really should register in the parish within the boundaries of where you live, even though you may be moving around from time to time. When you mover, just tell your pastor you are moving and then register in your new parish.

Yes, you must have a sponsor. You should ask your pastor if he could find someone to fill that role. I’m sure he knows some kind souls in his parish who would be your sponsor.

Thank you for you persistance and faithfullness. God will reward you for all your effort.

Linus2nd
 
Colorad007 said:
…]I have heard so many doctrinal horror stories about RCIA catechesis. Given how junky Catholic catechesis has been generally, I can only imagine what goes on in so many parish RCIA groups…]
Click to expand...
Sadly this is the case in a great number of parishes, but it is getting better, and many parishes are doing it right. After coming through RCIA as a student back in '09, I am now the coordinator for the program at my parish…and, with my pastor’s guidance, we have been real sticklers for teaching the faith honestly and accurately. Our main ‘textbook’ is the Catechism. We don’t shy away from teaching the truth on hard issues.

I’m sure we make mistakes now and then, of course, but we try very hard to avoid teaching any error or misleading anybody.

I know that most RCIA programs nearby to me operate about the same way. But I don’t have a good feel for what the ‘average’ level of orthodoxy in RCIA programs is nationwide ;).

God bless!
 
I’ll share my experience in case there is something in it that is helpful.

I came home to the Church in 1996. At that time, and for some time to come, the local parish didn’t even have an RCIA program.
Due to the response of the parish priest I ended up having a few sessions with an F.S.S.P. priest and was received into the Church right before a Friday night Latin Mass.
I was in my late 30s and came from an Anglican background. The priest gave me good, solid instruction and made sure knew the faith … just through a few rather casual meetings.

So, RCIA, although the norm in most parishes, is not always necessary. (Here at CAF and elsewhere on the Internet I have heard some horror stories as to what was taught in some places.)
 
Hi Sam! It seems to me we are in the same boat!. Nice to meet you, and I hope you find everything you need here.
 
Thanks Natasha, nice to meet you too!

And Thankyou to everyone else for their words and advice. I had my first meeting with the priest today and it was such a great introduction to things. I went into the Chapel of Adoration afterwards and just sat with the Lord for a while, I thanked Him for guiding me this far and now I have homework to do! All in all, a really positive experience. 🙂
 
christina118 said:
I just really wanted to say thank you for posting this - it has given me tremendous hope. I actually grew up Protestant and was very active in my church as a teenager, but fell away as an adult. During a particularly emotional time about three years ago, I turned back to Jesus (as so often seems to happen), and have been undeniably led to the Catholic Church since. After meeting some stern resistance from my mother and husband, I questioned everything yet again and struggled spiritually while still studying (literally DEVOURING) everything I could find on the Catholic Church and the similarities and differences between what I was always taught as a Protestant. I have found that many unanswered questions have been answered and an extreme comfort to my soul in praying the Rosary daily and in going to Mass on Sunday when I can.

However, my husband is a complete atheist and is dead set against me believing in God at all, much less going to Mass and saying daily prayers, even going as far as telling me he considers it “morally wrong” since he adamantly doesn’t believe. He ridicules me (and quite cruelly at that) for my faith and has even forbidden me from so much as TALKING about God to our 6 year old son. He has told me that if I continue on the path I am on, he can’t guarantee that we will stay married. When I confront him with this, he says he is not threatening me, he is simply stating a fact and that life is all about the choices we make. Needless to say, I am at a loss. I’m scared to lose my family, but I can’t bear to turn away from God again … not after everything I’ve learned and come to believe wholeheartedly. My soul literally feels as though it is tearing in shreds that I simply cannot get to RCIA for Confirmation. I can’t even get to weekly Mass without fearing the retribution from my husband! I deeply desire Confirmation and being able to participate in the Eucharist - I just don’t know how it will happen, so I pray. Constantly.

Needless to say, I found your story very inspiring. It gives me great hope that there may be a way for me as well! 🙂

I so needed to read this. Thank you and God bless you! You will be in my prayers!
Click to expand...
Hi Christina If you happen to check in and see this, please know your story touched my heart. I hope you are continuing your studies in our Catholic faith. You are in my prayers.
 
LondonConvert said:
Hi there!
Firstly, I know that RCIA members have to choose a sponsor. I have no Catholic friends or practising family members. Will one be provided for me? I also read that I will have to choose a confirmation name but other sources say that isn’t done anymore. I’d be sad if it isn’t, I’m hoping that I can choose the name Benedict as my confirmation name for obvious reasons! Lastly, if I am not recieving instruction in my local parish, do I need to “register” after I have been confirmed?
Click to expand...
People will give you similar and yet different answers in some cases because inside Catholicism, we have some general and not so general practices. Every parish is slightly different. For example attending RCIA is basically the standard to enter the church. That said, not all parishes offer it due to lack of demand for it. For the past two years, my parish has offered RCIA but this year, it was eventually cancelled due to lack of demand for it. When it isn’t offered, then individuals will receive instruction from their priest on a regular basis. The frequency depends on people’s schedules and how often the priest believes it is necessary to meet.

There are other aspects that it is up to the individual’s choice. For example inside my parish, people were given the option of selecting a confirmation name but it wasn’t required. When I joined, I didn’t select a confirmation name but I know others that did.

Sponserwise, I suggest that you speak with the priest of the church who will preform the sacraments. He may know someone who can help you out with this aspect.

Once you are confirmed, as far as I know, you don’t need to register. (I certainly didn’t) If you decide to attend your local parish after you have joined the church, it might be a good idea to let the priest know so as you begin to practice it 100% and you have questions, you can ask him. It’s takes about a year or two before some of the practices can become part of one’s spirit.

When it comes to joining the church, it is basically standard for people to join during Easter Vigil but it is also not unheard of for some to join on a feast day or another day that has importance in their life. In some cases it is better because it is easier to get friends and family to attend a one hour mass verses a three hour mass instead. I did that and I was able to get more friends to attend because they weren’t busy with family at Easter. It was wonderful.

I hope this helps,
SG
 
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