Convert... Blessing our marriage... annulments et al

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takao_san

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Hello,

First… God bless all in the faith and those that seek knowledge and enlightenment!

Question… My wife and I (Wife - Cradle Catholic… Me - RCIA/Convert) want to have our marriage blessed in our parish church. My wife has had an annulment completed and recorded in the Diocese. This is not the question/issue… although a piece of the story.

Before conversion I was a “non-denomination” evangelical christian. Strong in my faith but not a regular church goer. I was married prior (civil marriage by a JOP and ultimately divorce finalized and recorded)

When my wife and i initially approached our parish priest about getting our marriage blessed he gave us direction in proceeding with my wife’s annulment. We answered all the questions, my wife was interviewed by the deacon and the long wait commenced. approx. year and a half later we received the annulment.

Going back to our parish priest about arranging for the blessing we filled out the paperwork, provided all the documents and prepared for, prayerfully, a short wait… a week later… our priest approached us with a apologetic face… The Chancellor of the Diocese had told him that “I” needed to now get an annulment for my prior marriage! :^O !!!

HERE IS THE RUB… My “non catholic” civil marriage needs to be annulled?? I am not understanding why this is so? I was not a catholic when I married my ex wife… it was a civil marriage… and why, when we were going thru my wife’s annulment a year plus ago, was this not mentioned then??

In RCIA I fell in love with the church and I am very happy and satisfied about my conversion, however, it is these “out of the blue” obstacles that come up, with no concrete, referenced (Doctrine, canon, rules/laws etc.) reasons this should be so. We are frustrated beyond belief as no answers are forthcoming that make sense to us. So I am reaching out for help. and insight…

Thank you for any guidance that may be provided.

Yours in Christ…
 
Well said (as usual) IM2, often saving me keystrokes 🙂
It’s a shame your annulment didn’t get brought up at the same time as your wife’s.
Best of luck on this wonderful journey–it’s tough (as you know) but so satisfying!
 
That also is a topic that comes up in those threads. Why is it just coming up now and not when they converted? It seems like there is a breakdown somewhere in someone doing their job thoroughly.
 
This should absolutely have come up a long time ago. I’m sorry.

I don’t suppose there’s any chance your ex was a baptized Catholic?

If not, then yes, you’ll need to go through the same nullity process as your wife.
 
takao_san said:
My “non catholic” civil marriage needs to be annulled??
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Yes. Non Catholics marry validly when they marry civilly.
takao_san said:
I was not a catholic when I married my ex wife… it was a civil marriage…
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A marriage does not have to be religious to be valid.
takao_san said:
and why, when we were going thru my wife’s annulment a year plus ago, was this not mentioned then??
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It sounds like an honest mistake. Either the priest didn’t ask the right questions or didn’t understand some aspect of the situation.
 
takao_san said:
it is these “out of the blue” obstacles that come up, with no concrete, referenced (Doctrine, canon, rules/laws etc.) reasons this should be so. We are frustrated beyond belief as no answers are forthcoming that make sense to us.
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I realize this may seem out of the blue to you but it is difficult to understand why. Issues such as these should be covered very well in RCIA. I think many people assume they are only talking about Catholic marriage so they believe it doesn’t apply to them.

It is not just you, it is everyone with a prior marriage, Catholic or not. The Church presumes all marriages to be valid until proven they are not. Below is a link to the section of Canon Law that deals with marriage.

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_P3V.HTM

I’m actually surprised you were able to be brought in to the Church being in an invalid marriage.

FWIW - You won’t be having your current marriage “blessed”, you will have a convalidation, a new exchange of consent. New consent is needed because neither of you were able to freely give consent at your wedding.
 
Thank you and bless you all for your responses… I have learned more in these responses than I did today speaking with the Diocese Chancellor… I have been directed to speak with the Tribunal for Clarification and direction. I will do so and let you all know what insight and direction is/was given.

God Bless…
 
Thank you… I did try and find anything that was similar to my situation… however… “I dont know what I dont know…” as a new Catholic I am still learning and evolving… This forum has helped a lot and I look forward to participating!
 
Agreed IM2… this should have come up in RCIA… as my teachers and mentors knew all about my my story, yet it never came up… but as stated prior… I love mother church and hope to mend these gaps, as I have offered to serve as an RCIA volunteer.
 
I wish she was as the “marriage would not have been valid” in the eyes of the church as the Chancellor indicated to me… so would not have to be annulled… :^/
 
Unfortunately, Catholics at all levels are mixed in their knowledge AND interpretation of marriage, divorce, nullity beliefs.

It’s best to study the laws and procedure for ourselves, try to find a trustworthy Catholic, pray for God’s Holy Spirit to guide us and give us strength and protection, deal with our first marriage before getting involved with another lover, be open to what God reveals to us, and defend what He reveals to us against all enemies.
 
takao_san said:
I wish she was as the “marriage would not have been valid” in the eyes of the church as the Chancellor indicated to me… so would not have to be annulled… :^/
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Yes, that’s indeed why I was asking. I’m sorry no one brought this up earlier—it sounds like a simple oversight, but it’s very frustrating for you! Good luck.
 
Should we wish for invalidity?

Is that what the tribunal does?
 
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He’s remarried. It would have been easier if the first marriage was a lack of form case. That’s all that was said or implied.
 
JulianN said:
He’s remarried.
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How do you know that is a valid marriage?

We should hope for truth to prevail. Whether it’s a valid first marriage or not. Hope for truth. Once a tribunal Hope’s for invalidity… well, you can bet they will find something to make that happen.
 
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Ammi said:
How do you know that is a valid marriage?

We should hope for truth to prevail. Whether it’s a valid first marriage or not. Hope for truth. Once a tribunal Hope’s for invalidity… well, you can bet they will find something to make that happen.
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That wasn’t the point. The only comment the Tribunal official appears to have made was that it would have been easier, and clearly invalid, if his first wife had been a baptized Catholic. There was no implication about not finding the truth – you’re projecting that.
 
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