Converting...how to tell family?

[beegirl]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

 

[fbl9]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

Hi welcome to CAF.
We both know your mother will be upset if she is adamant. Have you talked to her about why she desires you to remain a baptist? Why she left the Catholic Church in the first place?
Be prepared for your mother to say that you are disobeying her by doing so,most likely she may mention the commandment “thou shalt honor your parents” and by becoming a Catholic you are disobeying God too, through disobeying your mother.Which is a false accusation for ,in prespective, you are following God’s will and your mother’s will is against God’s will.

You definately need to tell before your departure to university.And at a time when there is no holiday activity going on. Some quiet evening bring up the subject of faith and beleifs and lead the conversation up to your choice.

 

[Moscati]

Oh, that’s tough. My situation was almost exactly the same, except it’s my dad who became a Baptist, shortly before he met my mom.

I started considering Catholicism my freshman year, and I’ll be brought into full communion at the Easter Vigil (two weeks!!).

My advice is to tell them while you’re away at school. That sounds cowardly, I suppose, but it can also make things easier. You and your parents can both retreat to think, without always sharing space and tiptoeing around each other, and everyone will be less likely to say things they’ll regret later.

When you are home, go to church with them, and ask if they’d be willing to go to Mass with you. My parents have never come, but I think that gesture has done more than anything I’ve said to heal our relationship.

They may feel as though you’re repudiating them, as parents, that you don’t love and respect them anymore, that they’re losing their baby girl, etc–so try to be as loving as you can. Put effort into showing them you still care very much about them. Expect it to take time for them to come to terms with the idea. Take it slow. Everyone will realize it’s not the end of the world.

And above all, welcome!

 

[ccolley]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

I am a convert, too, and telling your non-Catholic family that you are Catholic is very difficult…I would pray before telling them…I told my family after I became Catholic. My mom(a lifelong Methodist) was shocked…and never really said anything. Except to ask me questions about my beliefs…ie purgatory. God will provide you with the perfect opportunity to tell your mom. The strongest argument that I gave to my Mom was the example of my life…when I went to Mass every Sunday, the way I treated others, the way I respected her and didn’t criticize her religion…these were little ways that slowly convinced her that I was indeed still a Christian. Remember that God will never abandon you and your mother loves you more than anything. Tell her that you love her, but that you are a Catholic. Then just let her lead the way…be prepared to make a defense of the faith, or answer questions.
Finally, I would say, listen to tapes on conversion stories…there is one at www.biblechristiansociety.com and download the talk “Baptist minister becomes Catholic priest” by Fr. Gray Bean. It is a free Mp3 download and it will inspire you.
CC
[SIGN]Catholic now and forever! [/SIGN]

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

You said most of your family is Catholic, I assume you mean grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I would speak with them and just say that you have been reading and studying and are thinking of becoming Catholic. Ask that they not say anything at this time, because you have not decided yet, but will explore RCIA when you get to Chicago.

 

[Nicea325]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

At your age in today’s youth,it is not very common. Good for you.

**My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc. **

No offense,but you need to ask your mom how often she went to Mass as a Catholic? I find many ex-Catholics never really took the time or were involved at the parish level. No offense,but I do not think her convictions were truly that strong as a Catholic.Her foundation didn’t seem very strong or firm.If I am wrong,I apologize. I remember when I was between 19-28 years old I hardly attended mass,due to the fact I was growing up,attending college and like so many youth get side tracked with other ‘young’ interests.However, I served as an altar server for 10 years and belonged to the Youth Ministry and attended Faith Formation until the age of 17. On top of that my parents were Lectors every Sunday. I may have been side tracked for a few years but I can tell you this much.My Catholic convictions were there because many tried to ‘convert’ me and I rememeber sticking to my Catholic convictions and foundation.Nothing shook it!

**I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with. **

And the Mass is all scriptural and I bet the majority of non-Catholics do not even know.Read early church history and I can promise you the early church was Catholic and had the Mass.Early Christians worshipped as we do and was not even anything close Protestantism.

**So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA. **

Good luck and congratulations.

I** joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks **

When your heart is ready you will know when to let them know. Why remain Baptist, if your will is with the RCC?

 

[beegirl]

Thanks for the advice and support everyone

We both know your mother will be upset if she is adamant. Have you talked to her about why she desires you to remain a baptist? Why she left the Catholic Church in the first place?

I haven’t exaclty told my mom…yet…that I’m planning on becoming Catholic. She knows I’m going to a Catholic college, and has told me she would be “dissapointed” in me if I went to mass. She’s never really told me why she left the Chruch…when I ask she just says that she didn’t agree with its doctrine. So I grew up believing that Catholics never read or obeyed the bible, and that all of their traditions etc. were created by man. It wasn’t until I attened mass with a friend that I thought, “wait…theres nothing wrong with this…theres nothing against this in the bible…”

Finally, I would say, listen to tapes on conversion stories…there is one at www.biblechristiansociety.com and download the talk “Baptist minister becomes Catholic priest” by Fr. Gray Bean.

Thanks for the great link! That sort of brings up another problem I’m facing…my Pastor. He loves the lord and prides himself in knowing his bible. But he’s very set in his ways…and his ways are very anti-Catholic. I’m afraid that if I tell him he will put me on our Chrurches prayer list, or mention my name in service. He’s already “hurt” that I would go to a Catholic college…much less become one.

I guess my main problem here is I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know its my life and I need to serve God in the way he calls me. I know that - even if things are a little rocky at first - my family will still love and accept me. I guess I’ll keep praying and bring it up when the time is right.

 

[ccolley]

Thanks for the advice and support everyone

Thanks for the great link! That sort of brings up another problem I’m facing…**.my Pastor. He loves the lord and prides himself in knowing his bible. But he’s very set in his ways…and his ways are very anti-Catholic. I’m afraid that if I tell him he will put me on our Chrurches prayer list, or mention my name in service. He’s already “hurt” that I would go to a Catholic college…much less become one. **

I guess my main problem here is I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know its my life and I need to serve God in the way he calls me. I know that - even if things are a little rocky at first - my family will still love and accept me. I guess I’ll keep praying and bring it up when the time is right.

What is the problem with putting you on their prayer list? Just as long as they are prepared for God’s will to be done, whatever that is. I know of one person whose Mom prayed that he would stay Pentecostal and NOT become Catholic…and guess what? He not only converted, but he brought his entire congregation with him into the church. The Holy Spirit will prevail, no matter what people pray!

People who love you and want you to control your own life are not going to try to “guilt” you into staying Baptist. If your Pastor is “hurt” then he is just trying to make you feel guilty for leaving…that is hardly a good reason to stay in any church, IMHO.

You are on the right path…keep praying! I will pray for you, too!
CC
[SIGN]Catholic for 20 years and forever! [/SIGN]

 

[BLeev]

Awesome to hear how God is moving to come into the Church. I’ll pray for you as you continue on this journey.

In regards to letting your mom know, I agree with everyone else, you’ll know the right time. Also, you’ll know what to say. It may not be anything profound when it happens but it could be. I think the largest thing to remember is that you are doing this for yourself. You have chosen to follow that nudge God gave you. So I would say follow it - become who God is calling you to be - then worry about telling your family that you have become that person. And who knows … you could be the one who comes into the Church that will also end up bringing your mother back - God does work in mysterious ways.

 

[The_Geographer]

What is the problem with putting you on their prayer list? Just as long as they are prepared for God’s will to be done, whatever that is. I know of one person whose Mom prayed that he would stay Pentecostal and NOT become Catholic…and guess what? He not only converted, but he brought his entire congregation with him into the church. The Holy Spirit will prevail, no matter what people pray!

People who love you and want you to control your own life are not going to try to “guilt” you into staying Baptist. If your Pastor is “hurt” then he is just trying to make you feel guilty for leaving…that is hardly a good reason to stay in any church, IMHO.

You are on the right path…keep praying! I will pray for you, too!
CC
[sign]Catholic for 20 years and forever! [/sign]

Wrong answer. You opinion is somewhat misguided. There is much fear among fundamentalists that may have difficulty with members. This is a young woman. My wife waited until March 2009 to admit, finally after receiving the third degree about her conversion. You know I get the blame for this and last weekend I was reminded of my apostacy, though MIL said she converted me, implying saved me. It’s true that there really isn’t anything to worry about. But it is okay to NOT talk to anyone about it except your RCIA instructor, fellow candidates and pastor/priest.

In fact, it would probably be best for you if you avoid it at first. If you want to “come out” then wait until you are prepared. Do it on your time, not someone else that intends to convert you back or scandalize you. Save everybody, including your mom, who is Catholic, hoping she’s not culpable. You’re faith may be the catalyst the God is using to convert your entire family. This may be true. But protect yourself. And ignore anyone’s implications that your parents, church friends and current pastor do not care about you. If they didn’t they wouldn’t be fighting for you to stay. God bless their hearts, but they are unfortunately deeply confused.

 

[fdesales]

Thanks for the advice and support everyone

I haven’t exaclty told my mom…yet…that I’m planning on becoming Catholic. She knows I’m going to a Catholic college, and has told me she would be “dissapointed” in me if I went to mass. She’s never really told me why she left the Chruch…when I ask she just says that she didn’t agree with its doctrine. So I grew up believing that Catholics never read or obeyed the bible, and that all of their traditions etc. were created by man. It wasn’t until I attened mass with a friend that I thought, “wait…theres nothing wrong with this…theres nothing against this in the bible…”

This seems to be a common problem - that parents have a hard time letting their adult children take on different viewpoints, whether it is politics, religion, or other such major lines of thought. You just have to tell your mother that you are an adult and are serious about your committment to Jesus Christ through the Catholic Church. Read the Bible and become familiar with the arguments against Catholicism used by Baptists, such as the sacrament of Baptism (vs a mere ordination). Be able to defend your faith - this, and Scripture knowledge, will help convince your mother that you are not going through a phase, but are serious and have good arguments to back up your decision. When she sees you are serious and are indeed walking the walk, she’ll relent.

Be aware that your mother left the church, LIKELY, because of some personal issue with a person or an poor understanding of the teachings of the Church. This in no way effects what Jesus did 2000 years ago.

Good luck and pray for your mother.

Regards

Fdesales

 

[beegirl]

Thanks again for the advice
You’re all very helpful!

 

[Moscati]

Thanks for the advice and support everyone

Thanks for the great link! That sort of brings up another problem I’m facing…my Pastor. He loves the lord and prides himself in knowing his bible. But he’s very set in his ways…and his ways are very anti-Catholic. I’m afraid that if I tell him he will put me on our Chrurches prayer list, or mention my name in service. He’s already “hurt” that I would go to a Catholic college…much less become one.

I guess my main problem here is I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know its my life and I need to serve God in the way he calls me. I know that - even if things are a little rocky at first - my family will still love and accept me. I guess I’ll keep praying and bring it up when the time is right.

This, IMO, is another reason to wait until you’re away at school. You won’t have been attending your current pastor’s church for awhile, and it’s less of a “shock” and something for people to get upset about–they don’t have to know, until you’re ready to tell them, and no one will ask where you are. Unless your mom makes an announcement or something.

My cousin also converted to Catholicism, out of the same small Baptist church. He had far more trouble dealing with the pastor than I did, because he still lived in our hometown. The pastor is even more likely than your mom to view your conversion as some sort of personal/professional failure, and he may try to change your mind (it depends, of course, but it seems like he knows you well).

I wouldn’t be too worried about being on the prayer list. My parents had my Catholic grandparents on the prayer list for “salvation” for years. Since Catholics believe salvation is a lifelong process–it’s not such a big deal. You can tell them you’re praying for their salvation, too.

 

[fbl9]

I wouldn’t be too worried about being on the prayer list. My parents had my Catholic grandparents on the prayer list for “salvation” for years. Since Catholics believe salvation is a lifelong process–it’s not such a big deal. You can tell them you’re praying for their salvation, too.

As a Catholic we know this but this could be taken as this young woman may be hell bound. So her saying this to them could be taken as a slap in the face which is the way they mean it when they say it to her.(as if to wake her up) Beegirl is aware of this baptist congregation’s teaching regarding Cathloics so it may not mean (praying for another’s salvation) what i think Beegirl’s former congregation takes praying for another salvation to mean.

 

[Jerok]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

I was agnostic before going to Catholic College (Benedictine College) and became Catholic. Mom hate’s Catholics, wishes I hadn’t gone, but I don’t let it bother me since I know I’m doing the right thing. When you’re on campus, everyone will be so supportive of you becoming Catholic you’ll feel great. I actually feel sorry for my Mom for not believing and pray for her, and I imagine you’ll feel the same.

 

[Moscati]

As a Catholic we know this but this could be taken as this young woman may be hell bound. So her saying this to them could be taken as a slap in the face which is the way they mean it when they say it to her.(as if to wake her up) Beegirl is aware of this baptist congregation’s teaching regarding Cathloics so it may not mean (praying for another’s salvation) what i think Beegirl’s former congregation takes praying for another salvation to mean.

I know it may be meant that way, and I don’t mean to condone anyone being deliberately hurtful. In my parents’ case, it wasn’t meant to be hurtful (my grandparents weren’t even aware they were being prayed for). It was an expression of their love and care, however misguided.

I guess what I mean to say is one can take what others don’t understand, or even what they mean to be hurtful, and take its power away by thinking about it a little differently. It may also provide an opportunity to explain Catholic doctrine a little, in a simple way.

 

[The_Geographer]

I know we are on the prayer list at least on one family member’s congregation. I also know that I always pray for my diseased in-laws and family, whether they are Catholic or Protestant. I even pray for the man who married my mom. They wrote me out of their will. And in spite mom’s violent, grossly illicit/sinful, statements about religion and the blessed mother, I still pray for her. Many Christians in my wife’s side of the family don’t believe God hears our prayers and therefore would prefer we don’t or at least we are doing it in vain. This doesn’t make me any less likely to avoid praying for them or not wanting to be prayed for by them and their sources. We are all undergoing daily conversion, hopefully. The longer I live and deal with new ideas I don’t get the more I start over in many ways daily. Learning charity is not something we all possess necessarily no matter what vocation or status in life we’re at. For example, I’ve know very uncharitable priests and religious in my life. The wise one’s keep their mouth shut and thus avoid the condemnation of others slinging. When they correct, they discern when and where as well as how. That’s partly why if you read a variety of my posts, one day I’ll sound charitable and another day harsh. It depends on where I’m at in the struggle to understand the topic being disgussed.

 

[ThePKCatholic]

Hi Beegirl!

I know, REALLY know, what you are going through. I am in the process of converting right now as we speak. I will be Confirmed/First Communion at the Easter Vigil.

My Father and Grandfather both are Pentecostal Pastors (You can imagine where I am going with this). It has been a long journey, but one that I know God didn’t bring me to for no reason.

The best thing you can do, honestly, is PRAY. I have never prayed so much in my life. But, two things come from this.

1. You family WILL, as much as they may not want to, see a difference in you. They will feel a peace, and a loving spirit. Why? Because you are growing closer and closer to God by doing His will.
2. God will answer your prayers. They may fight against it with all of their strength, but He always prevails. And as I believe about my family, before it is over I think something GREAT is going to happen.

There is a lot of “hate” towards the Catholic Church, and it does not surprise me one bit. It is the Church the Christ himself founded, and the Devil is out and ready to PULL IT DOWN as quick as he can. Trust me, because YOU, I, and ANYONE else who is wanting to Convert and stop “Protesting” the Church, the Devil is going to want to pull away even quicker.

Do not give up - and don’t lose hope. It will all work out, because I know who wins. “The gates of Hell will NOT prevail against It.” And that “IT” is where you are going to find your safe-harbor.

Have a blessed day.

PKC

PS - Feel free to Message me, etc. I am not opposed to give my email address so as to talk, answer questions, be a shoulder to lean on, etc. We are all in this together, till we get Home!

 

[Carlan]

…my Pastor. He loves the lord and prides himself in knowing his bible. But he’s very set in his ways…and his ways are very anti-Catholic. I’m afraid that if I tell him he will put me on our Chrurches prayer list, or mention my name in service. He’s already “hurt” that I would go to a Catholic college…much less become one.

I guess my main problem here is I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know its my life and I need to serve God in the way he calls me. I know that - even if things are a little rocky at first - my family will still love and accept me. I guess I’ll keep praying and bring it up when the time is right.

Yes Beegirl, you are right it is your life and your decision, If you receive any negativity and condemnation from family or loved friends , stand your ground, telling them you understand where they are coming from and you respect them, however, you have made your decision and that you believe it would be best not to talk about it at this time.

Trust God to heal any hurt , and He will in time.
Guide our feet in the way of peace, Oh Lord! Carlan

 

[Matthew_P_Muehl]

(sorry if this is in the wrong place!)

I’m a Christian, first and foremost. I chose to be baptized when I was 8 years old, and now – at 18 - I have a close relationship with God.

My mom grew up catholic, and that’s what most of my family is. When she married my dad they started attending a Baptist church, where I grew up, was baptized, etc.

I’ve learned a lot (well, what I think is a lot) from my catholic family member/friend…I’ve attened mass and felt closer to God there than I have before. I’ve come to love the tradition, and haven’t found anything I disagree with.

So I think I’ve decided to become catholic. Next year I’ll be moving to Chicago and attending Loyola or DePaul university, and hopefully getting involved in RCIA.

I joined this forum because in the meantime I have a few questions and I’m hoping to find some answers!

My first question would be this…when the time comes, how should I tell my family that I’ve chosen to convert? They mean well and love me very much, but my mother especially is very adamant that I remain Baptist. Any advice/suggestions?

Thanks

First of all i would like to say it’s wonderful that you have decided to become catholic!
It will be up to you on when to inform them on this but i think you should go through R.C.I.A. first and learn all you can to defend the catholic faith.
I’ve learned a great deal here at c.a.f. from many wonderful posters on how to defend the catholic faith especially from the hard core southern baptist!
I think you will discover just how much you have been missing all these years.
Good luck to you and may the holy spirit guide you always.

Matthew