Converting Question

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Slayd

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I have recently decided to convert to the Catholic Church. I was raised Baptist and baptized when I was around 13 but over the year I’ve put a lot of distance between me and the church and also me and God. A little over a year ago I went to Mass with a close friend. Afterward I started doing research on the Catholic Church and begun praying for God to help guide me. I’ve gone to Mass a few more times since then and really feel that this is where I’m suppose to be. Now for the interesting part…I’m in a 10 long term relationship with another woman, we also live together. I would just like to get some opinions on what other Catholics think about my situation. Thanks
 
Slayd said:
I have recently decided to convert to the Catholic Church. I was raised Baptist and baptized when I was around 13 but over the year I’ve put a lot of distance between me and the church and also me and God. A little over a year ago I went to Mass with a close friend. Afterward I started doing research on the Catholic Church and begun praying for God to help guide me. I’ve gone to Mass a few more times since then and really feel that this is where I’m suppose to be. Now for the interesting part…I’m in a 10 long term relationship with another woman, we also live together. I would just like to get some opinions on what other Catholics think about my situation. Thanks
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As a convert to the CC from a Baptist denom when I was 58 years old I feel as if I should take a crack at your question. First…it is not very important what “other Catholics” think about your relationships. I think it might be important what your woman friend thinks as I am thinking that you will either make her your wife soon or perhaps reevaluate your relationship with her in some way. I joined the Church but my wife did not, neither have any of our 5 married children but I still hold out hope.
RCIA and your priest will have the best answers…the Church will welcome you with open arms…good luck…God bless.
 
Slayd said:
I have recently decided to convert to the Catholic Church. I was raised Baptist and baptized when I was around 13 but over the year I’ve put a lot of distance between me and the church and also me and God. A little over a year ago I went to Mass with a close friend. Afterward I started doing research on the Catholic Church and begun praying for God to help guide me. I’ve gone to Mass a few more times since then and really feel that this is where I’m suppose to be. Now for the interesting part…I’m in a 10 long term relationship with another woman, we also live together. I would just like to get some opinions on what other Catholics think about my situation. Thanks
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God is obviously calling to you in a very strong way. He wants you to come back to him and come into His Church. He has guided you here and will continue to guide you.
Begin by Speaking to a priest about your situation. He should be able to give you the best advise to handle your specific situation.
In general though, it must be said that you are “living in sin” so long as you are having sexual relations with a woman you are not married to. There will need to be some modification in this.
Again - I strongly urge you to begin talking to a priest about this.

Peace
James
 
Sorry about the confusion, sometimes I type faster than my brain works.

First, I’m a woman in a ten year long term relationship with another woman.

Thank you for the responses so far.
 
I really hope that I haven’t scared anyone away from commenting.
 
Hello

I am also looking at converting, which I will begin to do so in September.

As I understand, homosexuality is a mortal sin and frowned upon by the Church. If you take a look at this link - saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html - and scroll down to the portion about the Sixth Commandment/Adultery, you will get your answer.
 
Slayd said:
Sorry about the confusion, sometimes I type faster than my brain works.

First, I’m a woman in a ten year long term relationship with another woman.

Thank you for the responses so far.
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This really doesn’t change my response. Some changes must occur.
Of course in your case it is a bit more difficult and a bit more complex than if it were a heterosexual situation. The first importnat thing to remember is that God loves you and does not call you to Himself without giving you the grace to see it through. The question is how you respond to that grace.

Let me ask. You say that you feel that the Catholic Church is where you belong. What most attracts you about The Church?

Peace
James
 
I understand the church’s teachings on homosexuality, but I also feel that God brought she and I together. I prayed for many years for God to guide me to someone that I could live and could love me. And I believe she is that person.
 
JRKH said:
This really doesn’t change my response. Some changes must occur.
Of course in your case it is a bit more difficult and a bit more complex than if it were a heterosexual situation. The first importnat thing to remember is that God loves you and does not call you to Himself without giving you the grace to see it through. The question is how you respond to that grace.

Let me ask. You say that you feel that the Catholic Church is where you belong. What most attracts you about The Church?

Peace
James
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I’m attracted to the teachings of peace and love. I feel so peaceful and closer to God after Mass. I’ve never felt as close to God as I do now. And I believe this is what God wants of me. But I also believe that my love for my girlfriend is something God gave me and her.
 
sophies_mommy01 said:
Hello

I am also looking at converting, which I will begin to do so in September.

As I understand, homosexuality is a mortal sin and frowned upon by the Church. If you take a look at this link - saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html - and scroll down to the portion about the Sixth Commandment/Adultery, you will get your answer.
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We need to be careful about how we approach this since it can quickly become mired in misunderstandings.
Lets begin with a look at the Catechism on Homosexuality. Part of the section says:
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.
The section contains more and I urge Slayd to read through it.

Homosexual tendencies are “objecitvely disordered” however these tendencies are not, in and of themselves, sins. Homosexual acts are. Homosexual tendencies are a trial and a cross that must be born by the one afflicted just as any other affliction must be born. As an example, someone who has the affliction of the urge to steel must fight that urge every time the go to the store or even into someones house. They do not sin by having this disordere urge, thye do sin if they act on it.
This is important to recognize in any discussion especially since the Church, as evidenced above, calls us to treat those with homosexual tendencies with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. In other words with Love.

Slayd is being called into the Church. God is calling her home to himself for her salvation. Let us help her gently and Lovingly and carefully.

Peace
James
 
Just want to wish you luck on your journey. Jesus loves you and His church was created for you. I’ll send prayers asking God to light your way.
 
Slayd said:
I understand the church’s teachings on homosexuality, but I also feel that God brought she and I together. I prayed for many years for God to guide me to someone that I could live and could love me. And I believe she is that person.
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Slayd said:
I’m attracted to the teachings of peace and love. I feel so peaceful and closer to God after Mass. I’ve never felt as close to God as I do now. And I believe this is what God wants of me. But I also believe that my love for my girlfriend is something God gave me and her.
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So let us consider this. Does Love equate to Sex?

Is it possible for this person to Love you and be your best friend without the components that are sinful?
God may well have sent this person to you. He may have plans to save both of you through His Love and His Church.

You feel closer to god in the Catholic Church than ever before. You feel that your love for your friend is also real. Both can be true. It may simply be a matter of prioritizing what is truly important here. The natural and finite, though objectively disordered, Love between two humans, or the eternal, infinite Love between the soul and God?

I must again say that you will need the help of a good and orthodox catholic priest in this matter.

Peace
James
 
Slayd said:
I’m attracted to the teachings of peace and love. I feel so peaceful and closer to God after Mass. I’ve never felt as close to God as I do now. And I believe this is what God wants of me. But I also believe that my love for my girlfriend is something God gave me and her.
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OK - I hope I don’t mess up this answer.

It is truly wonderful that you feel close to God. That is a blessing that many search for, and far fewer actually find.

We are called by God to love our fellow human beings. But there are different kinds of love. There is love of neighbor. And there is the kind of love which brings forth new life.

The kind of love which brings forth new life is special, because we become co-creators of that new life with God. This type of love requires a man and a woman, and is formally called marriage. Marriage requires not just a public declaration or a signed document. A marriage must also be “consummated” to be valid.

The type of act which mimics consummation, but which is not (since it is physically impossible), is considered to be a disordered act. Although it serves a purpose of expressing one’s love, no new life can come from it. (Ditto for contraception use when a married man and woman are involved).

As mentioned above, SSA is not considered a sin in itself. It obviously is a temptation, however. Just as there is opposite sex attraction which can lead to sin. ALL people, independent of their orientation, who are not married are called to refrain from acting on the temptation to engage in marital acts. And acting on such temptations is a sin.

Life for you in the Catholic Church will be difficult. I’m not recommending that you find something else, quite the contrary. Most people have crosses to bear. Yours may be heavier than many others. A lifetime of chastity is difficult to accept. But Jesus and the saints tell us that when we accept our crosses in this life, our rewards will be greater in the next life.

BTW - I also recommend that you speak with a priest about all this.

Good luck on your journey, and may you find love and peace.
 
Thank you all for the wonderful responses. I’ve made an appointment to speak to a priest about everything. And of course I will continue to pray for guidance. Thank you for your wishes of peace.
 
Slayd said:
Sorry about the confusion, sometimes I type faster than my brain works.

First, I’m a woman in a ten year long term relationship with another woman.

Thank you for the responses so far.
Click to expand...
On the surface it seems as if you are not called to marriage. (Marriage is a male and a female, neither of whom has ever been married before, committing to one another for the purpose of joining with God and working together to care for each other and for any children that God sends to them).

In the Catholic faith, the alternative to marriage is the celibate life. You would have to discuss with your partner the implications of this for your relationship.

Your partner may find that such an arrangement is not tolerable, and so she would have to leave you and find someone else to be with. Or, she might find the idea attractive, and take up the celibate life with you, in which case, you would continue to live together as room mates, but without a sexual component to your close friendship.

If it turned out that neither of these options were acceptable to you, you would have to delay coming into the Church until such a time as the issues surrounding this circumstance were resolved.
 
Slayd said:
I understand the church’s teachings on homosexuality, but I also feel that God brought she and I together. I prayed for many years for God to guide me to someone that I could live and could love me. And I believe she is that person.
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This may be true in part. He may have brought you together to be good and loving friends but he did not bring you together for a sexual relationship.
Catholics cannot engage in any homosexual activity. Other practicing homosexuals have converted and changed the nature of any relationships that existed prior. You will have to figure out how this will work for you. You do not have to strike this person from your life but you must cultivate a chaste relationship. You may enlist the guidance of a priest to help you work out the logistics of this.

You can get help from a group like Courage.

couragerc.net/

The following book is written by a man but it may be of some help to you .

beyondgay.com/

Take some time to start studying the church teaching on marriage and male and female relationships.

Here is a search-able Catechism to help you .
You might also look into Theology of the Body or one of the many studies on it.

Many prayers for you . I know this is difficult and even scary.
 
Thank you again for the responses. Everyone has given me a lot to think about. And on a side note…I have been married before to a man, we divorced in 2000. And neither my girlfriend or I can have any children.
 
Slayd said:
Thank you all for the wonderful responses. I’ve made an appointment to speak to a priest about everything. And of course I will continue to pray for guidance. Thank you for your wishes of peace.
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Good to hear.
You are embarking on a long but wonderful journey.

Peace
James
 
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