Converting to Catholicism - Question about First Confession?

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I am very nervous about my first confession. I am beginning the process of converting to Catholicism and I recently read about what constitutes a mortal sin and what types of things are considered grave matters. I realized that in some form or another, I was guilty of half of the list! I had no idea that I had that much sin lurking in my life. And now I am afraid that when I go to my first confession, the priest will be so shocked that he will delay or cancel my confirmation into the Catholic church. I feel so close to being a part of something incredibly beautiful and I am very afraid that I will be told that either I’m irredeemable or that I must do so much penance or study that it will be a long time before I am allowed to enter full communion.
I am really in need of clarification on this matter, because I am going to have a sit-down with my priest very soon so that he can determine if I will be ready for Easter confirmation this year. I’ve only ever confessed my sins in prayer before, although now I realize that many went unconfessed by oversight and misunderstanding. Do all new Catholics have this same crisis, where they realize all their hidden sins and are afraid to confess out loud to a priest, instead of in prayer?
 
Let’s take this a bit at a time.
Randi said:
I am very nervous about my first confession.
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You and probably everyone else going to confession for the first time.

Let me start with a story. One Lent I went to my parish’s communal Reconciliation service. After the group prayers and examination of conscience, we were ready to have our individual confessions. One of the children’s catechists announced that several of the children who would be making their First Communions had missed the Reconciliation service that had been held for them and were at the regular parish service. She asked if the adults would wait until the children had gone to confession before they started going.

It was amazing to watch the children approach the priests. They walked up slowly, had their heads down, and looked scared. And then you saw them after confession: heads up, smiles on their faces, and practically bouncing as they walked away from the priests.
I am beginning the process of converting to Catholicism and I recently read about what constitutes a mortal sin and what types of things are considered grave matters. I realized that in some form or another, I was guilty of half of the list! I had no idea that I had that much sin lurking in my life.
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Perhaps you haven’t covered this in RCIA yet, but there are three requirements for a sin to be mortal: grave matter, knowledge, and intention. If you didn’t know something was wrong, God isn’t going to be going “gotcha!” Now you know and that changes things.
And now I am afraid that when I go to my first confession, the priest will be so shocked that he will delay or cancel my confirmation into the Catholic church.
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I think it would be awfully hard to shock a priest. They’ve heard it all…repeatedly.

The priests I know tell me that they are humbled by hearing confessions. Whatever it is people have done, they trust in God’s mercy and love and they trust the priests to be the instruments of that mercy and love.

On a very practical level, there is something called the confessional seal. A priest cannot use anything he’s heard in confession outside of confession. So rest assured that anything that might delay or cancel your entrance into the Church would have to come from somewhere else, not from what you confess.

Besides…think about it. When you confess a sin you do it with the intention of not committing it again. How can that be a bad thing?

It’s hard to look at your life and see the places where you’ve done wrong, the things you wish you had never done, the things you want to change. This type of conversion is what we all are called to do. You’re not alone!

Prayers as you continue your journey into the Church.
 
Just relax and ask the Holy Spirit to enter your heart. I am also a convert and leading up to my first Confession I felt very much the same. But I spent about 30 minutes before my Confession in prayer “still do”. This truly helped me calm my worries and the first thing I told my priest was " I’m very nervous" He smiled and said don’t worry. Lets just talk. He made me feel so calm that I just opened up and I found that he and I had talked for about an hour. I felt brand new. I know you’ll do great and I’m praying for you in your conversion. God Bless and welcome.👍
 
Get your body there, and the priest and the Holy Spirit will do the rest.

Simply follow his lead, and answer his questions as honestly as you can.
 
Randi said:
Do all new Catholics have this same crisis, where they realize all their hidden sins and are afraid to confess out loud to a priest, instead of in prayer?
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It appears to be so universal that there ought to be a standard post that you could just click on and have something like what you have written appear on the page. 🙂

Of course, that doesn’t make it any less scary for you. Let’s see if we can make it better.

If you did something bad without knowing (honestly) that it was bad or sinful, then, at the time, it wasn’t a sin for you. Now that you know, don’t do it again, though.

Everybody has sins, and bad ones. The priest has indeed heard it all and absolved it all. Your sins may seem remarkable to you, but they won’t to the priest.

The worse your sins are, the more the priest will admire your courage and honesty to confess them sincerely.

I heard a story once of a person who was very afraid to confess his sins. He hemmed and hawed until the priest asked him, “Did you shoot the Pope? No? Then it can’t be that bad!” So, did you shoot the Pope? 😃

Betsy
 
As long as you are sorry for your sins it doesn’t matter how many you have and how bad they are. Trust me, the priests have heard everything. They won’t be as shocked as you think they will. Try to relax and enjoy the feeling of having ALL of your sins wiped away. It is a wonderful feeling.
 
Randi said:
I I realized that in some form or another, I was guilty of half of the list!
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ONLY HALF?? You have been watched over by angels. :O) I had my first confession at 40 years old. oh my. The only sins my flesh had not committed, it seemed my spirit had contemplated, at one time or another. I am/was guilty. Praise God for his mercy, that is so powerful to cover all that, as nothing, and make us whole.

You are not alone, but you are UNIQUE, and heaven wouldn’t be full without ya, ( or me, or anyone).

God Bless,

former southern baptist, forever catholic christian,

Susan
 
Welcome!

I had my First Confession about three years ago. I try to go to Confession every month. It is one of the great graces of the Church. I get nervous every time!

Priests have pretty much heard it all. You will not shock them. Instead of thinking less of you because of what you confess, they respect you for your courage and sincerity and desire to repent and be reconciled. One priest told me that one of the graces he has is that he doesn’t remember individual confessions. Remember that you are confessing to Christ through the priest. Priests go to confession regularly, too.

I, too, was used to confessing in prayer. There is nothing wrong with that. We should take our venial sins to God in prayer in the Penitential Rite at the beginning of every Mass, and get in the habit of doing an examination of conscience at the end of every day. There is tremendous healing, though, that comes in confessing our sins out loud in the confessional. If you hear yourself confessing to the same sin repeatedly, it helps you to pay attention to your own actions, and, hopefully, think before you do the same thing again. I set goals, things I want to do better. I try to be realistic, but trust God will help me. I still get nervous, but I know the grace that comes with Confession. You will feel better after a good confession. Hearing the priest say, “I absolve you…” has incredible healing power.

As a mother, I sometimes think of it this way. You expect the delivery to be painful, but you know the outcome is this beautiful baby. As you look ahead, focus not on the pain, but on the baby.

I always take time to pray first and ask for God to be in my heart and in my words. I also write things down - a personal habit. It works for me! I pray about what I’ve written before I go in. Often, I never look at the paper. Sometimes, when the priest asks if there is anything else, I look - just in case - because I don’t want to go out and find I missed something I thought was important enough to write down. My memory isn’t what it used to be!

As far as Penance - God is merciful. So are priests. You may get prayers or scripture readings. My priest is very good at giving scripture to read that really connects with what I have confessed. I read and re-read.

Examine your conscience, be honest and sincere. The priest will guide you. “Be not afraid.”

I asked others to pray for me before my first confession. I will keep you in my prayers.

Easter Vigil is beautiful! You should be excited, not fearful.

God bless.
 
I was baptized as an infant and raised Catholic. I then deserted the Church, only to come back 22 years later.

You can well imagine that in 22 years, my list of sins was long. Very long.

As others have said the priest has heard them all. He will be delighted to absolve you and welcome you into the Church.

God bless and welcome home!
 
Welcome Home and Peace be with You!! EVERYONE is nervous about their first Confession (some of us are nervous about EVERY confession!). No matter what you have done, no matter what type of life you had in the past, a good confession will bring you peace and joy. There is nothing you can say that will shock or gross out the priest (they have heard it all and then some) and there is no confessed sin that will prevent you from entering the Church. Be sure to tell the priest that you are making your first Confession and he will help walk you through it. 😉
 
Randi said:
I am very nervous about my first confession. I am beginning the process of converting to Catholicism and I recently read about what constitutes a mortal sin and what types of things are considered grave matters. I realized that in some form or another, I was guilty of half of the list!
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Welcome to the club.
Randi said:
I had no idea that I had that much sin lurking in my life. And now I am afraid that when I go to my first confession, the priest will be so shocked that he will delay or cancel my confirmation into the Catholic church.
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Trust me, it ain’t gonna happen. He’s heard it already.
Randi said:
Do all new Catholics have this same crisis, where they realize all their hidden sins and are afraid to confess out loud to a priest, instead of in prayer?
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I know that I did. Heck, I still do. Go anyway.

There’s a really good book called “Frequent Confession: its place in the Spiritual Life”, by Benedict Baur. It’s worth getting.
 
Are you just getting confirmation or are you doing baptism, first communion, and confirmation? If you are doing all 3, I don’t think there is a need for a “first confession” before all these. All your sins will be absolved if you are doing all 3, I believe. The person to ask is your RCIA leader.
Welcome home, and keep the Faith alive:)
 

Hi Randi. You are definitely not alone. I also have been going to RCIA. I hope to be confirmed at this coming Easter Vigil. I too am becoming quite nervous about my first confession. I have done some things in secret that I thought I would never have to tell anyone. I try to tell myself that our priest has probably heard far worse than I have done. Nervous or not, it’s something that I have to do to be in full communion with the Church and that’s is very much what I want and am convinced is the right thing to do. Thank you for asking this question as the replies have very much helped me also. God bless.​

LynneT
 
I’ll be having my first sacramental confession in two days (I had one back in 2007 or so but there was no absolution.) I’m also quite nervous. Will be praying for you!
 
lynnet said:

Hi Randi. You are definitely not alone. I also have been going to RCIA. I hope to be confirmed at this coming Easter Vigil. I too am becoming quite nervous about my first confession. I have done some things in secret that I thought I would never have to tell anyone. I try to tell myself that our priest has probably heard far worse than I have done. Nervous or not, it’s something that I have to do to be in full communion with the Church and that’s is very much what I want and am convinced is the right thing to do. Thank you for asking this question as the replies have very much helped me also. God bless.​

LynneT
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We have no secrets from God! “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you…” Jeremiah 1:5. God is omniscient. He knows all we do, He knows our heart, and He knows our needs. God’s mercy is greater than any sin.

As a member of an RCIA team and a convert who has been where you are, “Welcome Home to all of you!” This is an exciting time! May you all see this as a new beginning. You are in my prayers.

God bless.
 
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