Converting to Catholicism

[hillymountain]

Hi - I have just joined this group today so that I could ask this question.
We have just finished our second year of RCIA. It has taken longer than the usual year because we are waiting for the annulment of my husband’s first marriage - initially we had absolutely no idea that this was an impediment in any way! So this second year we have been with all new people who began the course last autumn. One of them mentioned to us recently that he would also need his wife to seek an annulment because she had been married previously. (Two people actually dropped out during the first year - they decided that they didn’t want to go down the annulment route)
However, it now appears that this man is going forward to become a Catholic regardless and has not told our priest about his wife’s previous marriage (that I know of). Should I tell our priest what I know or is it telling tales?
It is hard to separate what I feel is moral duty and on my conscience from what is I feel would be very unfair as we have gone through an enormous amount of turmoil with the annulment and are still waiting to hear back from Rome. We are Christians but we have not received communion for two years.
I’m not sure whether I should tell/ask the priest or not and if I do I want it to be for the right reasons.
Help please

 

[The_Wizard]

Matthew 18:15-17. You can never go wrong following the word of the Lord.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Yes, you should mention this to the priest. You don’t know if he already knows, but he should know in order to give correct counsel to this man. He, your priest, should not disclose how he knows this.

Note, you said: “We are Christians but we have not received communion for two years.” If you were Protestant, you have never received the valid Eucharist. It is worth waiting for to resolve your past marriage issues and start anew with Christ with a clean slate.

 

[Della]

If this man and his wife are living as brother and sister, he can be received into the Church without an annulment–while he seeks one. Perhaps he can’t live that way at this time in his life, especially if his wife is not willing. Still, I think he should be the one to inform the priest. You can certainly encourage him to do so–so that everything can be in proper order for him being received into the Church. After all, being a Catholic entails obedience to the Church’s teachings. If people aren’t willing to obey Church law, they shouldn’t try to “sneak” their way in, as if that wouldn’t be the sin of dishonesty.

 

[jmcrae]

Hi - I have just joined this group today so that I could ask this question.
We have just finished our second year of RCIA. It has taken longer than the usual year because we are waiting for the annulment of my husband’s first marriage - initially we had absolutely no idea that this was an impediment in any way!

I always have the hardest time knowing when to “spring” this on people - I don’t like it to be the first thing I tell them, in case I discourage them from becoming Catholic at all, but I also don’t want to leave it so long that they can’t be received into the Church in a timely manner.

So this second year we have been with all new people who began the course last autumn. One of them mentioned to us recently that he would also need his wife to seek an annulment because she had been married previously. (Two people actually dropped out during the first year - they decided that they didn’t want to go down the annulment route)
However, it now appears that this man is going forward to become a Catholic regardless and has not told our priest about his wife’s previous marriage (that I know of). Should I tell our priest what I know or is it telling tales?

It isn’t really possible for you to know what’s going on in the background. Perhaps the wife is working on her Declaration of Nullity and in the mean time they are living as brother and sister. Or maybe her case was very simple, and she has already received it.

It is hard to separate what I feel is moral duty and on my conscience from what is I feel would be very unfair as we have gone through an enormous amount of turmoil with the annulment and are still waiting to hear back from Rome. We are Christians but we have not received communion for two years.

My heart goes out to you - you are making a huge sacrifice! It will be worth it in the end, though!

I’m not sure whether I should tell/ask the priest or not and if I do I want it to be for the right reasons.

Help please.

If this fellow is lying to the priest and “sneaking in,” then he is only lying to himself and to God. It will be awful for him when he is receiving Holy Communion and not knowing whether he is eating and drinking damnation upon himself, and always wondering.

You have taken the better way, for sure! You will have a clear conscience when you come to the Sacraments.

I have no advice for you on how to bring it up with the priest, since as I mentioned above, there is no way for you to really know what’s going on in the background.