Converts, is anyone else having trouble with their family?

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BumpSetSpike

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I haven’t even converted yet and I am having big issues with my family. I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. It’s mostly my mom and my sister, but my whole family is treating me so different.

All my sister does is tell me I’m going to Hell almost every day, but my mom is much worse. She always has to make snide remarks about the Catholic church. I can’t even have a dicussion with her because she turns everything into religion and then it just ends in a big fight. I don’t even want to talk to her anymore. She tells all my brothers and sister “Well at least you’re not stupid enough to want to be Catholic” when they make a mistake, right in front of me. I’m getting tired of it, and I can’t argue or yell at her because I get in trouble for being disrespectful.

I’ve tried to give her reasons why I chose Catholicism over mormonism, but she never lets me finish because she always interupts me. I told her a couple days ago how mormons believe that God was once a man, and in the Bible it says something to the effect of how God is and has alwasy been the same. She didn’t believe me and she kicked me out of the house in my socks and volleyball shorts while it was raining and I had to walk to my friends house to stay the night.

Other then that all I hear from her is that I’ve screwed up my life, eternal and worldy.

It’s not like I try to bring it up. Its just that everytime we talk she turns into a religious fight and I can’t just walk away from her or I get in trouble. I can’t stand it anymore, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can put up with three more years of this, because I have to wait until I’m 18 to be baptized.

Is it worth it to be baptized? Part of me wants to anyways just to get away from this because I know they won’t talk to me if I do, but the other part of me doesn’t want to loose my family. However, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life going to a church that I don’t believe just to make them happy.

Theres a lot more to this, but my post is already long enough so I won’t put it down.

If any other converts have had to put up with similar behavior, what happened and how did you deal with it? How are you doing now?
 
I, too, wanted to be Catholic at an early age and had a mother who was very against my converting.

I lost my faith and spent several years wandering before finely coming home to the Catholic church at the age of 39.

Yes, it is worth it but I feel for you so much.

I will say prayers for you, that you can remain strong until that time.

By the way, were is your father in all of this?
 
Yes, it’s worth it to save your immortal soul. God has given you a very difficult cross to bear, but He will give you the graces necessary to do it.
Try not to engage your family in arguments. If they bring something up, just say you don’t feel like talking about it now. Refuse to enter the argument. Just try to get through the next 3 years as uneventfully as you can.
You have the Truth. Don’t forsake Him. He loves you more than you know. Keep praying for help and strength. I will pray for you as well.
 
deb1 said:
I, too, wanted to be Catholic at an early age and had a mother who was very against my converting.

I lost my faith and spent several years wandering before finely coming home to the Catholic church at the age of 39.

Yes, it is worth it but I feel for you so much.

I will say prayers for you, that you can remain strong until that time.

By the way, were is your father in all of this?
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Thank you. My dad doesn’t live with me, and though I don’t get to see him very often he supports me in this because his family is a mix of different religions while my mom’s family is all mormon. My step dad doesn’t really agree with me but I can talk to him without anyone raising their voice. My mom just has that kind of personality.
 
Prayers for you, hon. It’s definitely worth it to be baptized … if you can, try to not talk about religion to the fam. You need to do what’s best for your soul.

huggles

(and many, more prayers!)
 
"Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you. "

Matthew 5:11-12
 
BumpSetSpike

I noticed from your profile that you are a steelers fan, I am sorry there is nothing that can be done about this situation…

Seriously though the family thing has to be one of the most stressful and difficult things for a convert to over come. I don’t know how deeply inbedded anti-catholicism is in the mormon circles but judging from your mother’s reaction, its fairly well ingrained. I am sorry you are going through this, I have taken for granted having come from a Catholic family and how difficult it is for converts who come from a non-Catholic backgrounds. Stories like these, though difficult for you, are inspiring to me. To see Catholicism and the truth mean so much to a believer that they are willing to be shunned by their family, keeps me from taken for granted the peace and the joy I have found in the Catholic Church. Pray, pray and pray some more.

God bless

By the way you are from Idaho, you should be a Seahwks fan.
 
I agree with all the above posts, but remember that your mother is still your mother. Try, as hard as it might be, to respect her wishes without losing your conviction. I can only imagine if one of my children secided to leave the Catholic faith for Mormanism. While I don’t think I would be beligerent, I would be concerned.

The third commandment is to honor your parents.

Prayers,
Armywife
 
If you have to live with your family for the next three years, stop talking to them about your converting. Pray, study, and offer your sufferings to God for other people in yourt position.
Email me -there is an online catholic group for people in your position.
 
Snide remarks and declarations that you are going to Hell are simply defensive reactions and as such you should just let roll off your back without a response. Think of it as holy suffering to be endured. Difficult I know because family members know how to push buttons. There was a prayer by St. Bridget (I think) and I hope someone can post it that goes to the best of my knowlege: O Jesus, who was silent before the unjust judge, guard my lips and enlighten my wisdom when and when not to speak. (Those are not the words, but the genral idea.)
 
Roman_Catholic said:
BumpSetSpike

I noticed from your profile that you are a steelers fan, I am sorry there is nothing that can be done about this situation…

Seriously though the family thing has to be one of the most stressful and difficult things for a convert to over come. I don’t know how deeply inbedded anti-catholicism is in the mormon circles but judging from your mother’s reaction, its fairly well ingrained. I am sorry you are going through this, I have taken for granted having come from a Catholic family and how difficult it is for converts who come from a non-Catholic backgrounds. Stories like these, though difficult for you, are inspiring to me. To see Catholicism and the truth mean so much to a believer that they are willing to be shunned by their family, keeps me from taken for granted the peace and the joy I have found in the Catholic Church. Pray, pray and pray some more.

God bless

By the way you are from Idaho, you should be a Seahwks fan.
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Well I’m glad that you and others find good in this. Honestly, as much I don’t want to my family to turn away form me and vice versa, I know I will be happy when I’m finally baptized.

BTW… The Steelers! I am admitting they suck this year :(… believe me I get so much junk from my friends at school and even people I don’t know! lol. However!! They are me and my dad’s team and I will stay faithful to them through thick and thin… even though… they were defeated by the Raiders… shameful, I know. 😉

And going for Seattle?? Heeeeeeck to the no! lol.
 
Please remember that you believing something other than your family is a direct attack at them, from their perspective. You are in affect saying “you are wrong, I am right”. Your parents have believed in their faith for decades and decades and it has to be a shock for them.

I would be humble and patient. Your family will see your behavior and will be moved!
 
Dear little one,

My husband and I converted on the due date of our second son in April 1998. We waited over a year to tell his mother because we knew she would not support nor understand our conversion. My husband was brought up a fundamentalist Baptist his whole life. His mother left the Church soon after he was born. It has been eight years and she still prays for our sinfull souls. (By the way, she baptized my husband in the Catholic Church as an infant and never told him. As a Baptist he was re- baptized when he was 7) However, she has attended both our sons 1st Communions and will attend the others as well.

My best advise for someone so young is to live your life by example. God is working in His own way. You are only 15 and you have many years to mature in your formation. It took us over two years before we were confirmed.

I agree with the above posts. From experience though it is always better to lead by example. My husband’s mom see’s our love for God and the Church. A lot of her anger is ignorance and when it comes from an ex Catholic it is often times more devasting and personal. They engage in calm conversations now and then.

The Sacraments are waiting for you. Have patience. The more loving you are the more your family will see that you have found peace, grace and Truth. They may never understand why you converted but ithat is their issue not yours. Continue to pray for them.

By the way, “Honor your parents” is the fourth Commandment. The third is “Keep the Lord’s day holy”.

Peace Be with You.
 
Blessings to you BumpSetSpike. I am sorry you are going through this tough time. You are getting good advice here. Please remember that your mother may not have a safe outlet for any of her frustrations in life. For a parent to say things like that to their children is a sign of severe frustration. The back-door comments are a reflection of her own struggles to communicate.

Also remember in true LDS theology, there is no Hell. There is only Spirit Prison. So you are not in danger of anything really. 😃

Your own family might not know enough about your concerns to be able to address them. That might be very frightening to them. Fear and frustration cause people to make thoughtless comments and sometimes dangerous actions. Pray for them.
 
BumpSetSpike-

I feel for you, very deeply. Although I am a few decades older than you 😉 I had to endure family problems during my recent conversion to the Catholic Church. It is an extremely painful experience, and I can only imagine how much worse for someone your age, and the degree of verbal assault you are enduring.

My only advice that can be added to the excellent advice already given above, is that God has called you, and for that you can be so, so thankful, and give him praise for this. And when all is said and done, the peace you will find will far outweigh the discomfort and pain you are enduring for His sake. It’s hard to imagine, but it’s true. The Holy Spirit will give you a comfort deep down that cannot be explained, and in that you will know it is Him.

Also, a quiet spirit cannot fail. If they want to insult you and buffet you with words, just being calm and quiet, time and again will eventually deflate them. And Christ in you will then outshine anything they can throw at you. He will give you the strength to endure. There will be days that will seem too hard to bear, but you will get through them and the strength will kick in.

God Bless you, you will be in my prayers. Please stay in touch with us and let us know how things are going for you.
 
I converted in 2004…and I can identify with ya. My mom was horrid to me when my hubby and I told her we were going to convert. She said awful things…how she was a failure as a mother (because of me), that I was joining a cult…on and on. It was vicious. 😦

Do your best to stay the course…it is BEYOND worth it!!! 😃 Try to keep it in prayer. We tried to not talk about it in front of them because it only led to them yelling at us. Pray the rosary…it is an emmense help…and will give you peace. 🙂 Study…learn…grow in the faith…

It’s nearly 3 years later and every so often she STILL will make a comment. Many of my friends abandoned me. And it unfortunately continues…many stuck by in what seems to be (in hindsight) their attempt to pull me back to Protestant life. Just a few months ago another friend abandoned me because I’m Catholic. Just yesterday another criticized me because I hold fast to the faith.

Stick to it. Stay busy doing good in school and volunteering or helping with community projects. Plan for your future. The time will pass quickly. Before you know it, you’ll be 18 and being baptized into the Catholic Church!! 😃

Feel free to PM me anytime 🙂
 
It is worth the suffering to convert - very much worth it. Praying rosary novenas helped me while I was in the process of converting. May God bless you and uphold you as you draw closer to Him. You’ll be in my prayers. Converting will likely be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but to actually receive the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Blessed Lord while on earth - nothing can compare to the bliss of that.
 
I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but check out exmormon. org, a website telling of people getting out of mormonism. Given some of the personal stories told there, there are many people who stuck with the mormon church even though, at a young age, they found it inconsistent, etc.

Sometimes people leaving the Mormon church tell their families. . . and their mothers and fathers tell them that they, too, haven’t believed for many years.
 
Silence is golden.
Don’t discuss your faith with them.
If they bring it up, simply go “silent” and silently go about your business.
Your actions will speak louder than words.
They can’t argue with someone unless that person argues back, it takes the rug out from under a person to have to argue with themselves. Besides, it doesn’t even sound like they want to argue. They just want to belittle you, which doesn’t need (name removed by moderator)ut from you to happen.
This way you aren’t being disrespectful and your aren’t adding fuel to their fire either.
Everytime they start in, just go about your business (dishes, laundry, homework, whatever) and silently recite prayers in your head for the situation.
 
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