Converts - One question: "Why?"

[HerrZJA]

Hi there. Hope I found the right forum this time. (I have a knack for putting things in the wrong place, as I am starting to learn).

Inspired by the thread Asking people why they LEFT the Church, I’ve felt it necessary to ask what brought people back, or into it in the first place.

Full Disclosure: For myself, I suppose you couldn’t say I’m fully in it yet (still Questioning, as it were), but the steps have been a longer journey than I normally realize.Back in high school (about five years ago, now), I started dating my SO (a Baptist, at least nominally), when I myself was one of those intentionally-misfitting teenagers with a deep interest in Occultism (which was, admittedly, a fascinating subject, much as Theology is now). Over the course of our relationship, she talked me out of my occultist arguments (which snapped me into a militantly athiestic mood), until about a year and a half ago, when I obtained a bible and started making a study for it.

I’ll admit the conversion, even simply from Athiest to Thiest, wasn’t an instant or easy problem. There are hard sayings in the bible that don’t always agree with my personal worldview (though the Bible, logically, takes precedence). I’ve found that, even with this “study bible” (it’s the ESV, if anyone cares) and all it’s cross-references (which I had a devil of a time reading), my understanding of it was rather radically different from the Catholic Church (until people started to explain things).

Around the same time I decided to purchase that bible, I watched a show, The Monastery by the BBC. For those who haven’t watched it yet, be you Catholic, Protestant, or anything else, I highly recommend it. That, I feel, was largely what was responsible for pointing me in the direction of the church. And I’ve found that the more I read and think and prayer, the more the “I don’t see where this is supported in the bible” melts away.

Paradigm shift, I guess. Go figure.

Anyone else have similar/different stories? Surely there was a reason for it for everyone who converts!

 

[Barbkw]

Thank you for your story and for this topic. I really enjoy the EWTN program “Journey Home” (if you’d like to hear a weekly conversion story) at EWTN youtube.

youtube.com/user/EWTN#p/u/2/UI8RZ5LasjQ

My sisters and I are members of the Prodigal Daughters of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

My Mom and Dad lived through the effects of the Depression and WWII. My brother was in Vietnam. I’m the 3rd of four female children, I grew up in the 70s and 80s. We were a poor family but we didn’t know that we were. No one had much. My Dad farmed which made us much better off than most (beef, milk, eggs, grain, farm land).

Anywho, my folks ensured that we each were Baptised, 1st Communion, Confirmed. We attended Mass each Sunday, all of us. We lived in a rural area and were bussed to a town for public school. On Wednesday we had Catechism classes.

Althou our town was really small, by 7th grade we were inundated with “sex, drugs and rock and roll.”

Let’s just say that “everything Spiritual was down hill from there on out” for the next 20 years.

I’m the “reformed” Catholic who is relearning how to do things “right” after having done almost all of it - wrong for 20 years.

 

[Barbkw]

Website to Monastery:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monastery_(BBC_TV_series

I wonder if I saw a spin off of that program on Discovery. Ten or twelve men voluteered to spend a month or so at a Monastery in Arizona.

It was very educational and very humorous. Only one of voluteers had an experience with Catholicism growing up.

One man in particular was a vet from the Kuwait War and he talked constantly. The first day in the Monastery they all were told that they could only talk for 30 minutes during the day (and then at night in their “cells”)

The guy was a ticking time bomb for three weeks.

 

[kmuestwin]

I was baptized Catholic but that was where my religious education stopped. My family didn’t go to church regularly and I wasn’t interested in anything spiritual. IT wasn’t until we moved to Louisiana and I was overwhelmed by the Southern Baptists and Pentecostals in my area that I began to think about religion. I was always being told by them how they are the true Christians and how the only bible that was worth reading was the King James Version. A few times I was invited to one of their churches and I felt like most of their “faith” was acting. (hand waving, shouting amen at odd intervals speaking in tongues etc…) I was also told that baptists don’t drink and that anyone who drank alcohol at all was sinful. After seeing many of my Baptist peers drinking and even seeing where their parents hid their liquor pointed me even more towards their religious hypocrisy.

A began to lean more towards agnosticism (I guess that’s a term) and explained my doubts about God by saying that the bible had been written and translated so many times that it couldn’t possibly be the meaning that God (if he existed) had intended. I started to lazily research the history of the bible and learn more about the history of Christianity to prove my point. I was taking a history class at my school and my professor talked a lot about the early Church. She was a Catholic and her lessons and example led me to inquire more into the religion that I had been baptized into.

Then one semester, I was hanging out with a friend of mine and she invited me to mass. I tried to make excuses and she convinced me that an hour wasn’t going to kill me. I went and was hooked on the religion that I had glimpsed only a little as a child. The mass seemed so reverent compared to the other churches I had been to. I went to mass every Sunday that semester and joined the RCIA class. I was Confirmed last Easter and am helping my priest to do the RCIA lessons for this year.

I was drawn in by the history, traditions, apostolic succession, and sacraments.

 

[jet100]

I was raised in a southern christian protestant family. My mom started taking me to church as a small child. I have been active in church my whole life. I would sing in the childrens’ choir, do vacation bible school, youth group, bible study, memorize bible verses and do volunteer work.
I was born with severe learning disabilities, Aspergers syndrome, OCD, ADD, LD, and APD. I have had a lot of therapy and doctors visits. I couldn’t speak, walk, write my name, or spell. My mom taught me everything, She taught me how to write, speak, and function in this world. She made me who I am today. I still struggle with my disabilities. People judge me and say I’m rude or blunt because I will say something absurd or crazy. It’s just my autism kicking in. I don’t know that I’m doing it or how to stop it. I have a hard time relating to people my own age. I never had many friends growing up because of it. I knew I always had God by my side.
I have always thought I was missing something in my religious life. That the practices we were doing wasn’t enough or devoted enough to God. I always had a amazing love for Mary and relating to her with a call from God.
I remember being 5 or 6years old not having many friends and sitting alone talking to God and Jesus. I would tell him all my feelings, problems, happiness, and love for him. I would talk to him like he was a human being sitting next to me holding my hand. I remember always talking to my self like somebody was there with me and listening to me, thinking back to that now, somebody was there. God, Mary, Jesus, and my guardian angel have always been there with me. My guardian angel has been my best friend and friend to me when nobody would befriend me. He was my there during all the years of sitting in doctors offices, therapist offices, and traveling.
God has always been calling me to religious life. He was whispering to me in my heart asking me to devote my whole entire life to him. He made me different for a reason to serve him and help the sick.
When I was 10years old my parents went through a nasty divorce. It spread all around town, people taking sides and gossiping about me. I would get funny looks in Wal Mart or the grocery store. My father was a very rich and powerful man. He was verbally abusive to me and very cruel. He was atheist and didn’t believe in church and God. He loved to mess with my mind and make me think things that weren’t real.
I went into an emotional breakdown when I was 13 years old from the divorce and my Father’s abuse. I had horrible anxiety attacks, I started self harming myself. I went into a deep depression. It was a dark night of my soul. I felt lost and had no control of any of this. The good Lord helped bring me out of my darkness. My mom prayed to God : “Lord change their Father or take him out of there" You know what the Good Lord did " He took him"

 

[jet100]

part two-
My father abandoned me in May of 2004 in Florida at a Mcdonalds. He dropped us off said " Goodbye" and walked out of my life. My uncle drove me home and dropped me off at my Mom’s house. I never saw my father’s family again nor my Father.
My father leaving me helped my emotional state of mind and my spiritual life. It brought me closer to God and changed me. God became the Father I never had. He was my constant and only stable being in my life.
In 2006, a year after my Father left town. My childhood best friend dropped dead of a heart attack from a stomach virus. She was only 15 years old!! I spent the whole day with her the day before she died. It’s crazy how one minute somebody is in your life and the next minute they aren’t. God really wanted his daughter home with him. I remember going outside after finding out she had died and asking God “Why” Why did you take her away from us? Why did she have to die? Why must I suffer more loss and heartache??
I came to terms that it was for His purpose to mold us into who we are today and our purposes on this earth.
My mom became deathly ill a year later in 2007. She caught C DIFF and toxic mega colon and lost her whole colon. She was hospitalized for 3months and I had to live on my own on our 150 acre farm by myself. I had to pay the bills, cook, clean, shop, do laundry and run the house and care for 25dogs and 10cats. I had to become an adult that day! I knew God was by my side in all those troubles and hard time. I asked him one day “God why all this loss and heartache in my life, why must I suffer” He whispered to my heart “It’s for my purpose to make you the woman you are today and to bring you closer to my love”
Last year when I started college I had another dark night of my soul. God became very distant from my life those few months. I felt like he wasn’t there. The Devil started tempting me with lust, pride, lies, and worldly desires. He wanted me to leave God and become “worldly”.
God brought me to my knees and pretty much spoke to me. I was crying out to the Lord to save me and make me a better person to serve him. I was sinning back and forth. I wasn’t a perfect person nor is anybody a perfect person.
I was crying out in agony to Our God for him to rescue me from these storms in my life. God rescued me and brought me to dry ground. He told me “I’ve been trying to tell you for years that your peace is as a Catholic nun and in the Church of Jesus Christ, which St. Peter helped to form.”
I knew that day I would never ever let Satan get the best of me again!
My spiritual journey has been a rocky one for a long time. It has had its highlights and the its down moments. God has really tested my love for him…
Right now, My spiritual journey is a long discernment to the church and my vocation as a Nun. I am praying everyday, journaling, doing two or three daily rosaries, church, volunteer work, reading about the saints and talking to other devoted Catholics.
My gift from God is the gift of hospitality and nursing. I want to serve Jesus’ children–the sick, infirmed and dying souls on this earth. I want to bring them closer to Jesus’ love and his compassion for them. I work at a nursing home as a CNA nursing the sick and the elderly in honor of Jesus. I have dedicated my life to serving him in the nursing world. I am majoring in LPN to RN degree in nursing, hopefully I will be a LPN by the time I’m 22 and a RN by the time I’m 23. I want to use my gifts to show God’s love to people.
My heart yearns for becoming one with Jesus Christ; I want to serve him and the Church for the rest of my life. I want to go to that desert place and lay down my life for him. I want to dedicate everything I am to him. He is my everything and my constant in my life.
The thirst I have for him and serving him is intense and so full of fire… I just want to run into his arms and tell him everything. I want to wear all white and say my vows to him. I want to a bride of Christ and his spouse.

 

[asia53]

My parents were determined that their children would choose a religion for themselves. When my father was younger, he had been force-fed a Southern Baptist regime. It left quite a deep felt resentment of organized religion within him.My mother wasn’t taught much about religion at all. My brothers, sister and I were not baptized at birth. Our religious education was hit and miss. My mom would take us to any church we desired. My father wouldn’t go. Needless to say, by the time, my siblings and I were in our teens, we stopped going altogether.

My father was in the military. He did two tours of Viet-Nam. On his last tour, I promised the Lord, if he brought my father home safe–I would be baptized. My father came home safe. However, it took me 32 years to fulfill the promise.

I kept telling myself, I hadn’t found the right religion, belief, etc. I messed around, forgot about it, and kept trying just about everything. Needless to say, nothing was right. In the meantime, the longing within my soul kept aching.

I worked with two catholic ladies. During downtimes, conversation would turn to religion among my co-workers. The two ladies could hold their own against all religions. They could state without any hesitation what they believed, what the Church taught, etc. I was impressed.

My curiosity got the better of me. I went to Mass, by myself. I was lucky. I told the usher, this is my first Mass. He was a very kind man. He sat with me, opened a missal, showed me what was going on—more or less, held my hand through the whole Mass (figuratively). The ache within my soul eased a bit.

I mulled it over, I thought, I brooded about converting to Mother Church. I read, researched, and felt such a pull to the Church. Finally, I made my decision to convert. I told the two Catholic ladies at work. They cried, I cried, they hugged me, said prayers for me. I started RCIA the next week. One of the ladies sponsored me.

I swam the Tiber Easter of 2000. Since then, the longing ache within my soul has been gone.

 

[Barbkw]

:clapping:

Loving how the Holy Spirit has changed all of our lives!

 

[LongJohnSilver]

In my case, the one word question, ‘why’, can be answered by a one word answer: ‘truth’.

 

[HerrZJA]

Several things, the first of which is a link to the BBC Series in its entirety (here). It’s really a beautiful thing to watch, particularly the way it affects the men, all of whom end up at least making a step into a more God-centred direction. Especially to see which men were most affected. None of them started Catholic, which made it even more interesting.

Barbkw - Firstly, thanks for the link. Secondly, thank you for telling your story. I feel I can really identify with the way you feel.

Kmuestwin - I can definitely feel where you’re coming from with the “religious hypocracy” thing. I find the same sort of clues in general, and not signalling out a particular faith either, which is a big part of why I spent my youth (okay, my teen years) doubting the concept of faith at all. There was very much the sense of “Well, nobody can live up to the example set in the bible, so I’m not going to try”. Are you a shy person? Did you find you had a hard time deciding to go to the RCIA classes in the first place?

Jet100 - I’m sort of speechless! I’m so sorry for your past, but on the other hand, so happy for you that you seem to be adjusted to it, and happy for your faith and your vocation, both to become a Nun and also in your career path as a nurse! God Bless You!

Asia53 - Another beautiful story! I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who was/is taking their time on this; until I read your story, I was sort of feeling that my timidness might be a sign that I wasn’t ready or that this wasn’t the right Church (or possibly even the right God). Now I don’t feel so bad, so thank you!

God bless you all!

 

[kmuestwin]

Kmuestwin - I can definitely feel where you’re coming from with the “religious hypocracy” thing. I find the same sort of clues in general, and not signalling out a particular faith either, which is a big part of why I spent my youth (okay, my teen years) doubting the concept of faith at all. There was very much the sense of “Well, nobody can live up to the example set in the bible, so I’m not going to try”. Are you a shy person? Did you find you had a hard time deciding to go to the RCIA classes in the first place?

I am not really a shy person but when it comes to discussing religion I am. (Tonight was my turn to do a lesson in the RCIA class and I was really nervous.) I think it’s because of a horrible time I had at my job a few years ago.

I work at a grocery store and I am required to look at the driver’s license of anyone who writes a check. A woman came through my line and I asked for her license when she finished her check and she started to go on and on about how it had the number 666 in it. It might have been something like 009566632. She started saying “I have to get it changed, its got 666 in it. I can’t have that in my license.” I was trying to be polite and I said, “Don’t worry. It’s just a number within your license number. It’s nothing to be superstitious about.” She shouted, “If you were a Christian, you would know that that’s the MARK of THE BEAST!!!” I was shocked so all I said was, “I guess you’re doing ok for now because it isn’t on your forehead yet…” and she left in a huff.

I worked the next day and she went through a cashier that was two registers from me. She went to the cashier and said, “Miss are you a Christian?” and the girl answered yes. The woman then said loudly, “I’m not going to talk to anybody who isn’t a Christian” and then pointed at me with her whole arm. She even went to the woman behind her and told her that I wasn’t a Christian.

I felt hurt and misunderstood. I became even more unreligious. I wasn’t denying God or Jesus. I was more anti-“Christians” because of the disrespect I had received.

In response to your RCIA question, it was relatively easy because the girl that had invited me to mass was the teacher and she eventually became my sponsor too! RCIA classes aren’t really what I would call a hostile environment. Everyone is welcome because the people who are leading the classes tend to want people to become Catholic. In the class we are doing, there is one person who hasn’t decided what Christian denomination he wants to be a part of. He just wants to learn more about Catholicism.

 

[Monica4316]

I’m a convert

I used to be an agnostic, but decided to believe in God partly because of some experiences in my life, and partly because CS Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” made so much sense to me. The more I prayed and tried to know God, the more He helped me to understand, until it became such a part of me that I can’t imagine being anything else now. I was baptized Eastern Orthodox as a child and was going to return to that church… but I became a Protestant through being involved in a Protestant club / Bible study in my university. After around a year of being Protestant, - I started to feel uneasy about it but I didn’t know why… I felt lead to traditional Christianity but didn’t understand it because I had many misconceptions, like Catholics worship Mary, etc. I struggled with this for several months… until one day, I was reading about the Mass, and I just instantly knew that it’s so holy and the right way to receive the Eucharist. It was so obvious to me but I didn’t want to leave the Protestant church so I was really upset. I struggled for a few weeks… until God made it VERY clear to me that this is His will. It was hard but I left the church and went back to Eastern Orthodoxy. Over time, as I tried to learn more about the faith, I felt led to read about Catholicism and - through prayer and research, I began to believe in it. I was received into the Catholic Church in 2009. it was a difficult journey but I’m so glad to finally have the Sacraments… the Eucharist is the most amazing part of the faith for me, - I never thought it could be real, before, but it’s really Jesus. I got to know this more through my experience than anything, but there are miracles that have happened that support the idea: miraclerosarymission.org/lanciano.html
youtube.com/watch?v=qbg_dhI4XCs

God bless!

 

[raaucoin]

In my case, the one word question, ‘why’, can be answered by a one word answer: ‘truth’.

DITTO! In my late teens and into my 30’s I fell for many lies. Overtime, things just weren’t adding up. Like- if all of what I started believing was going to bring freedom and happiness, why was life still so difficult andfilled with drudgery. When I prayed to the God of my youth- The God who I was happy with, He started opening doors by the power of the Holy Spirit. And The TRUTH has set me free!

 

[asia53]

Asia53 - Another beautiful story! I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who was/is taking their time on this; until I read your story, I was sort of feeling that my timidness might be a sign that I wasn’t ready or that this wasn’t the right Church (or possibly even the right God). Now I don’t feel so bad, so thank you!

Dear HerrZJA,

Take your time! The Lord is ever so patient with us. Timidness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It shows you are a deep-thinking person.

If I may offer a suggestion–say 1 Hail Mary a day. Mother Mary is our lifeline to her Son. I promise you, your heart and mind will open.

God bless you!

 

[CB_Catholic]

I am not really a shy person but when it comes to discussing religion I am. (Tonight was my turn to do a lesson in the RCIA class and I was really nervous.) I think it’s because of a horrible time I had at my job a few years ago.

I work at a grocery store and I am required to look at the driver’s license of anyone who writes a check. A woman came through my line and I asked for her license when she finished her check and she started to go on and on about how it had the number 666 in it. It might have been something like 009566632. She started saying “I have to get it changed, its got 666 in it. I can’t have that in my license.” I was trying to be polite and I said, “Don’t worry. It’s just a number within your license number. It’s nothing to be superstitious about.” She shouted, “If you were a Christian, you would know that that’s the MARK of THE BEAST!!!” I was shocked so all I said was, “I guess you’re doing ok for now because it isn’t on your forehead yet…” and she left in a huff.

I worked the next day and she went through a cashier that was two registers from me. She went to the cashier and said, “Miss are you a Christian?” and the girl answered yes. The woman then said loudly, “I’m not going to talk to anybody who isn’t a Christian” and then pointed at me with her whole arm. She even went to the woman behind her and told her that I wasn’t a Christian.

I felt hurt and misunderstood. I became even more unreligious. I wasn’t denying God or Jesus. I was more anti-“Christians” because of the disrespect I had received.

In response to your RCIA question, it was relatively easy because the girl that had invited me to mass was the teacher and she eventually became my sponsor too! RCIA classes aren’t really what I would call a hostile environment. Everyone is welcome because the people who are leading the classes tend to want people to become Catholic. In the class we are doing, there is one person who hasn’t decided what Christian denomination he wants to be a part of. He just wants to learn more about Catholicism.

The part about the number 666 reminded me of a story one of my favorite priests told. He went to get his license plates and the number on the plates was 666. He said he wasn’t really into the popular beliefs about the number 666, but that was a bit too much even for him. So he told the clerk he was a priest and didn’t think that license plate number was appropriate for him, but the clerk refused to give him another plate–it was the next one in line and that was what he had to take. That was when he purchased his first vanity plate and he’s had one ever since. He was a little miffed about having to pay extra money to get plates that didn’t have 666, but he wasn’t going around with that number on his car.

 

[MEPayne]

Lovely thread! I hope more people will post their journeys to our Catholic faith. I am a revert from agnostic with atheist tendencies, and now feeling pulled back to the church. I have some issues to work out, but I am so happy to be able to pray the Rosary and attend the Adoration chapel in my parish. I get a great deal of strength and peace every time I go there and an hour almost flies by! We are so blessed to have this devotion in our faith. Our Blessed Mother Mary is truly with us and she has been a most kind and loving mother to me.

God bless everyone!
Mary

ETA: Yay, I’m a “New Member”!! :extrahappy: