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ProdigalDaughter96
Guest
Hello everyone. I am in need of some prayers in regards to a rather serious topic. Back in September, I realized that my ex boyfriend of 6 years (who is 3 years older than myself) took advantage of me when I was still a minor. We started going out a week before I turned 17 and two weeks before he turned 20. He promised he wouldn’t take advantage of me, and we waited until I was 18 to actually go all the way. However, looking back now he did some things he shouldn’t have done and I did things that I didn’t consider to be physical sex.
We’ve been on and off again for 6.5 years. I’ve learned, and still learning, to let go of my ridiculous fantasy notions about love and relationships every young girl has at one point in their lives (currently, I’m 23). Despite this, I’ve always had a strong calling to the vocation of marriage, and having children. But now that I realized that I’ve been molested by own boyfriend when I was still underage, I now feel completely undeserving for the vocation I was called to and feel that I ruined myself for my future husband. I’m not denying my responsibility for my actions to continue to sleep with my boyfriend after I turned 18 (I still feel immense guilt about this even after I finally made it back to confession in September). However, looking back now, what my boyfriend did to me got me addicted to physical contact and I committed worse things with my rebound during our first separation and almost sinned with another. I plan on going to my parish’s communal penance service next Wednesday, but a part of me doesn’t believe that it’s going to help. I would be very grateful for anyone’s prayers, as I have a somewhat moderate desire to self harm for letting myself allow my boyfriend take advantage of me. :bowing_woman:
We’ve been on and off again for 6.5 years. I’ve learned, and still learning, to let go of my ridiculous fantasy notions about love and relationships every young girl has at one point in their lives (currently, I’m 23). Despite this, I’ve always had a strong calling to the vocation of marriage, and having children. But now that I realized that I’ve been molested by own boyfriend when I was still underage, I now feel completely undeserving for the vocation I was called to and feel that I ruined myself for my future husband. I’m not denying my responsibility for my actions to continue to sleep with my boyfriend after I turned 18 (I still feel immense guilt about this even after I finally made it back to confession in September). However, looking back now, what my boyfriend did to me got me addicted to physical contact and I committed worse things with my rebound during our first separation and almost sinned with another. I plan on going to my parish’s communal penance service next Wednesday, but a part of me doesn’t believe that it’s going to help. I would be very grateful for anyone’s prayers, as I have a somewhat moderate desire to self harm for letting myself allow my boyfriend take advantage of me. :bowing_woman: