Could I be baptised Catholic without joining the church?

[ccdonith]

Hi, I realize that this could be a controversial issue, but please let me explain.

My mother was raised Catholic and still considers herself Catholic to this day. My siblings were all baptized Catholic as babies, but my father insisted on changing religions around the time I was born, and so I was not. My mother, being in love, chose to not baptize me because of this, and instead chose to let me follow the Baptist custom, which in my area meant I would be baptized around a preteen age after being confirmed.

This, unfortunately did not happen as around that time my parents were getting divorced, and the issue was delayed, and finally just unrealized. However, it still remains an issue for my mother. It’s to the point that she has cried about how she has “failed me” (although in all other things she has been a better mother than I can ask for) and she also prays for my soul because she believes I could not possibly get into Heaven just because I am unbaptized.

I love my mother and would do anything for her, however, as I am an adult now I have decided to not be religious. I am NOT an atheist, the closest description to me would be agnostic, I am just not pursuing a belief.

Having being raised religious, I realize that baptism is not something that you just “do”. It has meaning behind it. But despite my non belief, it is important enough to my mother that I am willing to do what she needs.

I realize that baptism is part of being confirmed into a faith, but I would argue that I would have been baptized as a baby anyway, would I would have had no mind of my own to decide on what I believe. Does it really make that much of a difference now? I am an adult, and it otherwise should be done as part of my decision to enter the church, but I feel that my doing it now would merely be…correcting an “oversight” from when I was a baby. Could it be possible for me to do this now?

Please understand I mean no disrespect to anyone. I am simply trying to put my mother at ease about my…spiritual health. I am not trying to be sacrilegious or a blasphemer or anything like that, I really am just asking a question as a concerned daughter with a concerned mother.

 

[JM3]

I would suggest that you speak with a priest and base your decision on what he tells you.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Why don’t you and your mother make an appointment to talk to an experienced priest?

 

[Ad_Orientem]

If you don’t intend to live a Christian life, baptism would be a sacrilege. You ought to reconsider not being religious, though.

 

[BertBlyleven]

If you are baptized but do not believe, then you aren’t baptized. Faith is required. You would not be doing your mother a favor by this.

 

[71326]

Talk with a local parish office whose council may or not lead you to a priest. To begin with you need a godparent or sponsor besides your mother. Therefore, you would become a liability to another soul who is taking responsibility for your going through a baptism halfheartedly or so.

 

[QNDNNDQDCE]

If you are baptized but do not believe, then you aren’t baptized. Faith is required. You would not be doing your mother a favor by this.

Please be careful with your language. He would not receive sanctifying grace, but he would receive valid baptism.

 

[BlueCat]

If you are baptized but do not believe, then you aren’t baptized. Faith is required. You would not be doing your mother a favor by this.

Huh??? Does this mean that “baptized” infants, that don’t even know what you’re talking about, have not been baptized? I don’t think so.

 

[dans0622]

Hi, I realize that this could be a controversial issue, but please let me explain. … Having being raised religious, I realize that baptism is not something that you just “do”. It has meaning behind it. …
I really am just asking a question as a concerned daughter with a concerned mother.

Hello,

It’s a good question with a simple answer: no. Your middle sentences above give an indication as to why. If you are baptized Catholic, you are necessarily “joining” the Church and would be expected to live a Catholic life. If you are baptized without any intention of fulfilling your obligations as a Catholic and adopted daughter of God, that’s wrong. Consider the Church as a family. If you say “I want to be brought in to your family” but never intend to actually live in the family, you’re not being honest. In a sense, your latter state would be worse than the first.

Practically, I’m sure there have been people who were baptized only for the sake of a loved one and didn’t really have faith. Maybe some of them, later on, experience a conversion, the grace of baptism becomes active and alive, and they live a Catholic life. But, if you were to tell a priest what you told us here, he would not be able to baptize you. You would not be authentic/honest in going through with the baptism.

Please continue to think about the Catholic faith. I hope and pray that, someday soon, you can be baptized with a sincere, dedicated heart.

Dan

P.S. As far as needing faith in order to be validly baptized–no, a person doesn’t need a certain amount of faith. All that is needed is a manifested intention to be baptized (see canon 865).

 

[thistle]

Hi, I realize that this could be a controversial issue, but please let me explain.

My mother was raised Catholic and still considers herself Catholic to this day. My siblings were all baptized Catholic as babies, but my father insisted on changing religions around the time I was born, and so I was not. My mother, being in love, chose to not baptize me because of this, and instead chose to let me follow the Baptist custom, which in my area meant I would be baptized around a preteen age after being confirmed.

This, unfortunately did not happen as around that time my parents were getting divorced, and the issue was delayed, and finally just unrealized. However, it still remains an issue for my mother. It’s to the point that she has cried about how she has “failed me” (although in all other things she has been a better mother than I can ask for) and she also prays for my soul because she believes I could not possibly get into Heaven just because I am unbaptized.

I love my mother and would do anything for her, however, as I am an adult now I have decided to not be religious. I am NOT an atheist, the closest description to me would be agnostic, I am just not pursuing a belief.

Having being raised religious, I realize that baptism is not something that you just “do”. It has meaning behind it. But despite my non belief, it is important enough to my mother that I am willing to do what she needs.

I realize that baptism is part of being confirmed into a faith, but I would argue that I would have been baptized as a baby anyway, would I would have had no mind of my own to decide on what I believe. Does it really make that much of a difference now? I am an adult, and it otherwise should be done as part of my decision to enter the church, but I feel that my doing it now would merely be…correcting an “oversight” from when I was a baby. Could it be possible for me to do this now?

Please understand I mean no disrespect to anyone. I am simply trying to put my mother at ease about my…spiritual health. I am not trying to be sacrilegious or a blasphemer or anything like that, I really am just asking a question as a concerned daughter with a concerned mother.

Anyone baptised Catholic is Catholic forever. That can never be changed even if a person were to turn their back on the Church.

 

[Bakuryokuso]

If you get baptized as an adult, you’ll need to assent to the Creed. If you don’t think you can do this, the priest probably won’t allow you to get baptized anyways. When someone is baptized before the age of reason (usually as an infant), the parents and godparents make the baptismal promises on behalf of the child. But an adult has to take the baptismal vows for themselves in public, something like this:

V. Do you reject Satan?
R. I do.

V. And all his works?
R. I do.

V. And all his empty promises?
R. I do.

V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
R. I do.

V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
R. I do.

V. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
R. I do.

 

[JReducation]

For a sacrament to be valid you need matter, form and intent.

The case of Baptism:

Matter = water and an unbaptized person to be initiated into the faith

Form = Trinitarian form

Intent = desire to do what the Church does and believes

 

[Arturo_Ortiz]

For a sacrament to be valid you need matter, form and intent.

The case of Baptism:

Matter = water and an unbaptized person to be initiated into the faith

Form = Trinitarian form

Intent = desire to do what the Church does and believes

Amen

I would second what another poster said about getting baptized and not wanting yourself to follow the Catholic Church not being a good idea, even a sacriledge.

When you are baptized you are joining the Catholic faith. You enter the Catholic faith tgrough Baptism and thus getting baptized involves living and renewing your baptismal peomise.

Baptism should not be taken lightly as a mere symbol. It is a real and important thing that you should take very seriously.

 

[Tigg]

Hello,

It’s a good question with a simple answer: no. Your middle sentences above give an indication as to why. If you are baptized Catholic, you are necessarily “joining” the Church and would be expected to live a Catholic life. If you are baptized without any intention of fulfilling your obligations as a Catholic and adopted daughter of God, that’s wrong. Consider the Church as a family. If you say “I want to be brought in to your family” but never intend to actually live in the family, you’re not being honest. In a sense, your latter state would be worse than the first.

Practically, I’m sure there have been people who were baptized only for the sake of a loved one and didn’t really have faith. Maybe some of them, later on, experience a conversion, the grace of baptism becomes active and alive, and they live a Catholic life. But, if you were to tell a priest what you told us here, he would not be able to baptize you. You would not be authentic/honest in going through with the baptism.

Please continue to think about the Catholic faith. I hope and pray that, someday soon, you can be baptized with a sincere, dedicated heart.

Dan

P.S. As far as needing faith in order to be validly baptized–no, a person doesn’t need a certain amount of faith. All that is needed is a manifested intention to be baptized (see canon 865).

Best answer!

 

[Brandall]

Hi, I realize that this could be a controversial issue, but please let me explain.

My mother was raised Catholic and still considers herself Catholic to this day. My siblings were all baptized Catholic as babies, but my father insisted on changing religions around the time I was born, and so I was not. My mother, being in love, chose to not baptize me because of this, and instead chose to let me follow the Baptist custom, which in my area meant I would be baptized around a preteen age after being confirmed.

This, unfortunately did not happen as around that time my parents were getting divorced, and the issue was delayed, and finally just unrealized. However, it still remains an issue for my mother. It’s to the point that she has cried about how she has “failed me” (although in all other things she has been a better mother than I can ask for) and she also prays for my soul because she believes I could not possibly get into Heaven just because I am unbaptized.

**I love my mother and would do anything for her, however, as I am an adult now I have decided to not be religious. **I am NOT an atheist, the closest description to me would be agnostic, I am just not pursuing a belief.

Having being raised religious, I realize that baptism is not something that you just “do”. It has meaning behind it. But despite my non belief, it is important enough to my mother that I am willing to do what she needs.

I realize that baptism is part of being confirmed into a faith, but I would argue that I would have been baptized as a baby anyway, would I would have had no mind of my own to decide on what I believe. Does it really make that much of a difference now? I am an adult, and it otherwise should be done as part of my decision to enter the church, but I feel that my doing it now would merely be…correcting an “oversight” from when I was a baby. Could it be possible for me to do this now?

Please understand I mean no disrespect to anyone. I am simply trying to put my mother at ease about my…spiritual health. I am not trying to be sacrilegious or a blasphemer or anything like that, I really am just asking a question as a concerned daughter with a concerned mother.

I certainly appreciate the love you have for your mother and admire your desire to ease her pain. I would like to suggests another path that isn’t simple.

Currently, I’m enrolled in a program to convert to the Catholic Church. It started in August and will go through June next year. I will be confirmed at Easter.

All churches of the RC church have such programs with some more involved with others. There was a program last spring that I attended called an “inquiry”. It answered several of the basics of the church that stressed the difference of the Catholic Church and other Christian communions. We met once a week, at night, for two hours for probably six weeks. If a church near you has an inquiry program, would you consider going to it? If nothing else, you would learn the basics of an ancient religion which in itself, is incredibly interesting.

Then if you make it through that, maybe you would consider the initiation program which I am involved. It is called RCIA which stands for Rite of Christian Initiation Adult. The way it has been explained to me, I have the ability to reject the process at anytime prior to Easter.

I’ve never been what could be called atheist or agnostic. However, I’ve always loved history and even if I believed none of it, it would be an interesting process. Maybe if you were to go forward with this process, you might get to the end of it and decide you still couldn’t say that you believed. Like everything else in life, God has given you that freedom. Maybe during the process, you might find an understanding of what it really is that defies the logic we’re taught to use. If nothing else, you will have made a grand gesture that will let your mother know how much you respect what she believes.

Like I said, this is not the simple solution.

 

[moon1234]

It is also important to remember that ANY baptism done using the proper form, matter and intention is considered a Catholic baptism no matter where or who performs it.

There is only ONE baptism and the Catholic Church claims all people validly baptized as Catholics. It is up to the baptized to live their Catholic faith. Sadly many remain separated either by choice or by no fault of their own.

This is a very important point to remember!

 

[kathmandu]

Anyone baptised Catholic is Catholic forever. That can never be changed even if a person were to turn their back on the Church.

I find this so interesting. I was baptized as an infant, but I don’t believe I ever was a Roman Catholic, even after 12 years of RC schooling. I just never believed a lot of the dogma. So how could I be a Roman Catholic? I am a Catholic in its universal meaning and feel part of the church in that way.

But my question to the poster is would your mother be happy if you were baptized in another church? Seeing she was Baptist for many years, not Roman Catholic, might she accept your being baptized in the Unitarian Church, for example, with no strings attached? Just a thought. We all like to make our parents happy if we can.