Could Use Some Help

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I have an 11 year old (minor Baptist background) who believes in God, but feels no need to go to Mass. He claims its boring and they talk to much, thats what he told me.

We all know as parents, how important it is to rear our children in the faith, teaching them sound Christian values.

My question,how or what do I say to him to get him to understand how important worshiping God is? I can’t force him to go, though sometimes I wish I could. I’m a widowed mom with an angry confused son. Or should I just not try?
 
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mkw:
I have an 11 year old (minor Baptist background) who believes in God, but feels no need to go to Mass. He claims its boring and they talk to much, thats what he told me.
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What’s a “minor Baptist background”? Has he been brought up in the Catholic faith? Does he understand what’s happening in the Mass?
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mkw:
I can’t force him to go, though sometimes I wish I could.
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I’m sorry, this is a little confusing for me, are you saying if you tell him to get in the car to go to Mass he says no? What exactly do you mean you can’t “force” him? Won’t he do as you tell him? I’ve had four children and while they were living under my roof they did as I or my wife said. You can understand why I’m having a hard time understanding a parent saying she can’t “make” her son go to Mass. Now, as for wanting to go, well, if he understands what’s going on and doesn’t want to attend ask him why. Do you pray together outside of Church? Do you read Scripture with him? There are several ways to increase his interest. Scott Hahn’s books would probably be a good place to start, you read them then have him read them and discuss them. Start with the Lords supper.
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mkw:
Or should I just not try?
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Never give up!
 
What I mean by minor background, Son attended a Baptist Church for about 5 months. I am a convert from Atheism, I was received into the Church this Easter Vigil 2004, so there was never any real faith in our home till just this past year.

I have tried to explain the Mass to him, but he just says its “not as fun as the Baptists”…

Mass is the worshiping of God, not Saturday nite at the fair. But how do I combat this mentality?
 
At 11 years old you should begin his education in the Catholic faith, it may be beneficial to you also. There’s a book normally advertised on this web site called “Mass confusion” that would be a good place to start and as I said before, the book by Scott Hahn. Keep in mind that the basic form of learning is rote, not immediate application. But you need to start with basics. Eventually he should develop an understanding and a deeper appreciation of the Mass. Give it time, he’s just starting, but, don’t delay! Start today! And don’t ever give up; it’s his life we’re talking about.
 
No Davis…not yet.

I’m going to re-submit an E-mail to them.

As per the book, Mass Confusion…Have credit card will travel 😛
I will be ordering the book. I’m wondering…Has anyone written a book Catholism For Dummies-Kids? just a thought, :rolleyes:
 
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mkw:
I’m wondering…Has anyone written a book Catholism For Dummies-Kids? just a thought, :rolleyes:
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YES! I just heard about this on EWTN, written by Father Trigilio (spelling?) and another priest. Father Trigilio is on Web of Faith on EWTN (Catholic TV station) and is very good so I feel confident in recommending his book. It’s not specifically for kids, but I think would be something you and your son could go through together.
 
YES! There is a book called Catholics for Dummies. I have not read it, but I would imagine, since you are new at Catholicism, and your son is not at all interested, that it might be fun to get the book - the title would be of interest to an eleven year old boy - and go through it with him.

I would first explain that Mommy is new to this, too and she needs some help in understanding what this is all about. I would not force this on him, though. It could be couch time…just sitting and leafing through the book.

As far as children not wanting to go to Mass…it is boring, who cares, etc. Each of my boys at a certain age informed us that they would not be going to Mass…it was dumb, it was stupid, it was boring. I would say, “Fine - get your coat on and get in the car.” That was the end of that!

He does not have a choice at this age - he is a minor and therefore this is something that you have chosen for him. Compare it to school, which he must attend.

Although Tom writes that his minor children did not have a choice while they lived in their home, I have taken it a step farther. I have told our sons that they are expected to attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Days of Obligations while they live with us AND after they leave home. Why stop at just when they are living with their parents. We are writing about their eternal souls!

God Bless - and Mama - I shall be praying for you.
 
I wouldn’t get anxious about it at all. Jesus spent three years training the disciples. Take it step by step with your son.

Let him meet the priest and some people at the Church so he will feel comfortable about mass. It’s foreign and new to him. As one person said, you could certainly as a parent make him go. However, I don’t think that’s necessary since he is new to Catholicism and all new converts need time and gentleness to adjust.

Greg
 
I know how you feel as I was a single parent with two very opinionated sons. My oldest quit going to church at the age of 11, and has never returned. He’s nearly 30 now, and I try to pray the rosary daily for him and his brother. I made a big mistake in not insisting he go to church, even though it was a protestant church.
I have two younger children now, and they go to mass no matter how they feel about it. If they refuse, they’re grounded from playing with friends or using video games, and will eat oatmeal for every meal.
I say, “our family goes to church. No arguments.” They always go with us, even though they’re saying they won’t with each step. You have more control than you know.
Please don’t allow your son to stop going to church. Tell him you plan to go to heaven, and don’t want to go there without him.
 
Dear MKW,
I just want you to know that, I’m pulling for you on this. I think I might find a solution. I know that, there are Sunday evening masses at your Diocese. Most of whom which are aimed at the younger audiences and, I believe that, there might be a couple around your area. They are called, “Life Teen Mass.” It is a mass but, the music is mostly praise and worship. I know about this because, I know like plenty of parishes in my Archdiocese have these masses. If not, I have no other solution. These masses would like raise their hands, sometimes dance at their own seat, and more. Maybe clap. I don’t know if clapping is allowed but, either way. Just call your diocese and check to see if there is a, “Life Teen mass?” Someone should know.
Anthony
 
Thank You all for some wonderful and helpful ideas. You have made me realize that maybe I have tried to move to quickly for my son. But like all parents, I just want what is best for my son.

The biggest problem I have with him is, if he does NOT want to do anything, there is no way I can force him. I’ve been to court twice now, not because he is a trouble maker, but because he refused to go to school and missed many days, hence, a trip to court.
This all started when his dad died.

Please keep praying for my us, I know God will bring my son home when He thinks he is ready.
 
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ann:
Davis
What are Couples for Christ?
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Couples For Christ (CFC) is a Catholic based, Vatican approved Family Ministry.

The CFC has ministries which are designed to help members in all stations of life:
**CFC-Kids For Christ **(4 - 8 Jr. Kids) (9 - 12 Sr Kids)
CFC-Youth For Christ (13 - 17 High School) (18 -21 College)
CFC-Singles for Christ (22 - 40+ years old)
COUPLES FOR CHRIST (any valid married couple)
**CFC-Handmaids of the Lord **(women (specifically single parents, separated, or divorced women, unmarried mature singles), for married women (whose husbands are not in the ministry and finally, for widows.)
CFC-Servants of the Lord (men (specifically single parents, separated, or divorced men, unmarried mature singles), for married women (whose wives are not in the ministry and finally, for widowser.)
 
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