Counseling Advice

[Suscipe5]

I’m currently seeing a counselor; he’s about 40 and is a practicing (albeit very left-leaning) RC. He’s at a secular counseling center (I was at a archdiocesan one before, but I don’t want to return there).

He knows that I’m center-right in the Church. However, we’ve only meet about 8 times. Lately he seems bored in our talks.

I even said to him “Sorry for boring you.” He replied “What difference does it make if I’m bored or not?”
He even seems to talk condescendingly to me. I hope it’s not because my insurance is covering these visits.

Should I try to talk to him more about his perceived behavior? Should I find a new counselor? Should I just leave this altogether?

I’m tired of feeling like Charlie Brown with generalized anxiety disorder. All my prayers are just petitions and guilt.

 

[edwest2]

My suggestion, based on my own experience, is to get another counselor. If you feel he is not genuinely interested in engaging with you, then request someone else. It’s your right. And speaking from experience, generalized anxiety disorder can make decision-making difficult.

God bless,
Ed

 

[acadiANNA]

CENTER]In your best interests, I think you should get another therapist. It is not a good fit. Somewhere he has missed a lesson. And I would let him know tactfully the reason why.

 

[tawny]

I’m currently seeing a counselor; he’s about 40 and is a practicing (albeit very left-leaning) RC. He’s at a secular counseling center (I was at a archdiocesan one before, but I don’t want to return there).

He knows that I’m center-right in the Church. However, we’ve only meet about 8 times. Lately he seems bored in our talks.

I even said to him “Sorry for boring you.” He replied “What difference does it make if I’m bored or not?”
He even seems to talk condescendingly to me. I hope it’s not because my insurance is covering these visits.

Should I try to talk to him more about his perceived behavior? Should I find a new counselor? Should I just leave this altogether?

I’m tired of feeling like Charlie Brown with generalized anxiety disorder. All my prayers are just petitions and guilt.

Find another counselor. No counselor should make a client feel that they are being spoken to in a condescending fashion. If he is doing so; it is unproffessional and totally unacceptable. Praying for you. God bless.

 

[Tighty_Whitey]

It seems that you are fairly judgmental and critical. You have pegged where he is as an RC, you don’t want to go back to a prior counseling center, you’ve determined that this counselor isn’t interested in you and you also determined that he is condescending. Accepting each of these conclusions of yours as accurate I believe that you have to ask yourself a question or two. Do you want to stay a victim? If the answer to that question is yes then it doesn’t matter whether you are in counseling or not. The second question is, Do you want to get healthy? If that is the case then you should listen to your counselor’s advice, take action on that advice and see if you get healthier. If you are merely criticizing the person giving the advice and not trying to take their advice to heart by acting on it then you have no right to judge whether or not they should be your counselor.

 

[Suscipe5]

You’re turning what is an accurate observation into an accusation.

Can an observation be “judgemental”? Sure, it’s objective.

I’m not going to argue with you, though. You sound like you’re having a bad day. You don’t know me or my background as to why I’m seeing a counselor, and you have not been sitting in on our counseling sessions.

 

[GaryTaylor]

I’m currently seeing a counselor; he’s about 40 and is a practicing (albeit very left-leaning) RC. He’s at a secular counseling center (I was at a archdiocesan one before, but I don’t want to return there).

He knows that I’m center-right in the Church. However, we’ve only meet about 8 times. Lately he seems bored in our talks.

I even said to him “Sorry for boring you.” He replied “What difference does it make if I’m bored or not?”
He even seems to talk condescendingly to me. I hope it’s not because my insurance is covering these visits.

Should I try to talk to him more about his perceived behavior? Should I find a new counselor? Should I just leave this altogether?

I’m tired of feeling like Charlie Brown with generalized anxiety disorder. All my prayers are just petitions and guilt.

How long have you been going through this?

Everything you asked here, you should directly confront him/her with politely. Its all about honesty and an active role in your own heath. And I would start again with the “am I boring you” question again, tell him you actually expect an answer.

You’ll know better what you should do after that conversation. In fact I would write up a whole list in case I forgot a point or two. I’m sure you have a few other questions by now. Might as well make this into one session, do they cut the sessions short also?

Take the initiative. :twocents:

If they cannot help you to help yourself, than frankly they are not helping you. The problem is most don’t know they are being helped and the first words are usually similar to yours. So its difficult to know. Its like walking in a room with the children fighting, when you ask them who started it [foolish question] they point at each other.

And, I never tell people to find another therapist.

Deep breathing, in the nose, out the mouth, find the most peaceful and serene place you can in your mind and go there while breathing. Relax, loosen up, do you exercise? Cardio Vascular and breath as above, even when your tired.

See, wasn’t that easy?

I’m pulling for you! I know you’ll feel better after all this, I just know it! You’ll be liberated!

btw this is your second therapist, that’s a red-flag, you may be the problem?

 

[Suscipe5]

How long have you been going through this?

Everything you asked here, you should directly confront him/her with politely. Its all about honesty and an active role in your own heath. And I would start again with the “am I boring you” question again, tell him you actually expect an answer.

You’ll know better what you should do after that conversation. In fact I would write up a whole list in case I forgot a point or two. I’m sure you have a few other questions by now. Might as well make this into one session, do they cut the sessions short also?

Take the initiative. :twocents:

If they cannot help you to help yourself, than frankly they are not helping you. The problem is most don’t know they are being helped and the first words are usually similar to yours. So its difficult to know. Its like walking in a room with the children fighting, when you ask them who started it [foolish question] they point at each other.

And, I never tell people to find another therapist.

Deep breathing, in the nose, out the mouth, find the most peaceful and serene place you can in your mind and go there while breathing. Relax, loosen up, do you exercise? Cardio Vascular and breath as above, even when your tired.

See, wasn’t that easy?

I’m pulling for you! I know you’ll feel better after all this, I just know it! You’ll be liberated!

btw this is your second therapist, that’s a red-flag, you may be the problem?

I sure may be the problem. I have a lot of issues to work on, but unfortunately the last therapist would say “Oh really?” “uh huhhh” and would repeat everything I said without giving any help or insight. It was always “We’ll talk about it next time” which never happened. I was too naive to cut it off early, until I finally said I “my schedule changed and I can’t go anymore.”

Yes, this current counselor ends his sessions early, too. I liked his more aggressive, hands-on style in the beginning.

I have told the current counselor that I have a problem with being assertive and that I’m too nice. It’s extremely hard for me to be confrontational.

 

[Suscipe5]

Find another counselor. No counselor should make a client feel that they are being spoken to in a condescending fashion. If he is doing so; it is unproffessional and totally unacceptable. Praying for you. God bless.

Thank you for your prayers.

I’m just worried because my insurance is paying for this and he may bring that up. I know it’s not an excuse to not provide quality treatment, but I feel like our dialogue has become a like a father writing off his son’s issues as “child’s stuff.”

 

[GaryTaylor]

I have told the current counselor that I have a problem with being assertive and that I’m too nice. It’s extremely hard for me to be confrontational.

You can change this. but you have to make a conscious effort to work through the area. Its part of the issue. You don’t exercise?

Stay in treatment till you find someone else, there are very good people out here that will help you.

Isn’t there a sight now to check references?

 

[Samantha2197]

It seems that you are fairly judgmental and critical. You have pegged where he is as an RC, you don’t want to go back to a prior counseling center, you’ve determined that this counselor isn’t interested in you and you also determined that he is condescending. Accepting each of these conclusions of yours as accurate I believe that you have to ask yourself a question or two. Do you want to stay a victim? If the answer to that question is yes then it doesn’t matter whether you are in counseling or not. The second question is, Do you want to get healthy? If that is the case then you should listen to your counselor’s advice, take action on that advice and see if you get healthier. If you are merely criticizing the person giving the advice and not trying to take their advice to heart by acting on it then you have no right to judge whether or not they should be your counselor.

A little heavy handed, you think?

Not every counselor out there is right for every person - and not every counselor out there professes strategies that are worth following.

In fact, some counselors are just plain terrible at what they do.

Sometimes in interactions with people, things just do not mesh for one reason or another.

No one should have to stay in a situation that they are truly not comfortable in under some pretext that it will “make them better.”

Especially when they do not feel that they are being listened to.

I would suggest that the OP interview a few counselors, maybe check around - do some investigating on one of those Catholic counseling lists that can be found online that shows solid Catholic counselors in ones area, check ranking online and what other people say, etc.

Set up a few appointments with the ones that look best, and go from there. Explain the troubles that have been had, and see if the person understands.

But don’t just stay with someone because you feel like they are the “expert” and you have to deal with them, regardless of how uncomfortable you feel.

Of course, on the other hand, if one starts to find that after meeting with ten counselors they feel the same way, then it might be time to rethink the possible “critical” attitude.