Cremation Remains as a "gift"

[phil19034]

phil19034:

deogratias4:

necklace with a vial that contains some of the ashes

I just learned that my uncle wants to do this with my grandparents when they die…

@phil19034

I’m so very sorry and will add your family to my prayers. If your grandparents are of sound mind, perhaps they need to talk with a priest, a lawyer, and an undertaker. Best wishes in resolving this problem.

Thank you for the prayers.

Unfortunately, they are not of sound mind, and my mother already told my uncle that she will obide with anything he wants to do.

 

[Minks]

@phil19034

Your heart must be hurting terribly, Phil. Talk to your priest, and, perhaps, your mother, and maybe add a Mass to your prayers? Maybe your uncle will reconsider and bury their ashes. Maybe ask for prayers on this issue in our Prayer Intentions Forum? My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Crocus]

such a small amount.

If it were me personally, I would take matters into my own hands. An old Catholic cemetery from a long time ago out in the country somewhere. A small hole dug in a remote corner with a spoon. The little vial of cremains buried and prayers said. No one needs to know.

This is intriguing. Reminds me of old family stories. Apparently my grandfather, a righteous man in the pattern of St Joseph, (my words not the original) fashioned more than once, a burial box for the miscarried children of a relative, known to have not been a regular church goer.

This was a long time ago and I do not fault in the least, a priest in that culture for refusing an unbaptized child burial in a Catholic cemetery.

My grandfather, under cover of night, took a shovel and the little casket, and buried each of those children in an inconspicuous corner of the cemetery. I honour his courage and compassion. I know it gave peace to the mother. In remembrance I often pray for her.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I vaguely remember my mother telling me some old family story involving her Catholic mother and some other ladies going out in the middle of the night to bury some lady’s baby that was either stillborn or miscarried. The baby might have been born out of wedlock. She only told me the story once. It was a big deep dark secret for the time it happened (probably in the late 20s or early 30s).

 

[Crocus]

Yep. Takin’ care o’ business.

 

[deogratias4]

Would this be okay, though? I recently visited my dad’s (my dad who raised me) grave and that thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t know if that would be okay to do. I have also heard of stories of this being done way back in the day, but is it a proper thing to do that does not warrant confession? I have talked to a few different priests, different answers. But all the answers were uncertain. This vial is super small and it would totally be easy to just scrape up a little hole at the cemetery and bury it.

I thank you ALL for your replies. They have been very helpful and I am so very grateful to all of you.