M
mommamaree
Guest
Thank you all so much for your encouragement and for sharing your stories, too. It has helped me tremendously. I feel safer knowing that other people go through similar healing processes that involve tears at mass.
My husband and I finally were able to sit down and talk about this over the weekend. He had no idea of what the real cause was, but now he is better able to understand. We are continuing to talk about an appropriate strategy for me to use to allow for this process to occur within me.
I do think that I need to contact my pastor for a spiritual direction appointment. That was very good advice. I just get so nervous and embarrassed, like I am revealing too much of my inner self and that I am wasting his time. But I am beginning to understand that my fears are not necessarily indicative of reality.
I am also considering going to Adoration once a week, so that I can give myself some safe space to cry and pray for healing without hundreds of witnesses. There is just usually one or two people in there at a time, and they are focused upon their own relationship with Jesus at that moment. It might help me work on this at a time when I can feel what I feel and think what I think while hidden in a dark chapel pew, instead of the tiny little chairs they have set out for mass in our parish hall (our masses are nearly always standing-room-only in our parish hall and we can never fit in our church anymore, we hope to break ground on our new big church next year).
Anyway, thank you all again. I felt better knowing that I really could express myself and get feedback, written first, and then verbally later. I was so afraid of feeling and thinking. But now I feel braver.
My husband and I finally were able to sit down and talk about this over the weekend. He had no idea of what the real cause was, but now he is better able to understand. We are continuing to talk about an appropriate strategy for me to use to allow for this process to occur within me.
I do think that I need to contact my pastor for a spiritual direction appointment. That was very good advice. I just get so nervous and embarrassed, like I am revealing too much of my inner self and that I am wasting his time. But I am beginning to understand that my fears are not necessarily indicative of reality.
I am also considering going to Adoration once a week, so that I can give myself some safe space to cry and pray for healing without hundreds of witnesses. There is just usually one or two people in there at a time, and they are focused upon their own relationship with Jesus at that moment. It might help me work on this at a time when I can feel what I feel and think what I think while hidden in a dark chapel pew, instead of the tiny little chairs they have set out for mass in our parish hall (our masses are nearly always standing-room-only in our parish hall and we can never fit in our church anymore, we hope to break ground on our new big church next year).
Anyway, thank you all again. I felt better knowing that I really could express myself and get feedback, written first, and then verbally later. I was so afraid of feeling and thinking. But now I feel braver.
