Cultural duties v/s authenticity

[iamtrying]

Hello,
I was born in a Syro Malankara rite in India and our summer vacations and telephone time were consumed with our relatives. Growing up, family and culture was very important and my parents were always of the opinion that Malayalee culture is the best and the Malankara rite is the best.
I moved to the United States six years ago and the amount of spiritual growth I have had being part of a Latin rite surpasses my spiritual growth in the Malankara rite in 18 years. I am not fluent in Malayalam, and I find the Malayalam culture quite distant and sometime, not appealing.
I am much more comfortable and happy with a lifestyle where you hold friendships closer than your relatives. God has put some lively Catholic families in my life where they are much more persistent and willingly putting an effort to have strong meaningful friendships and relationships who are not blood-related. I want to pursue similar relationships. However, my mother is very devout about holding onto relationships and she expects me to still continue keeping up with relatives. Most of the relatives are still living in India and they do not take an interest in my life. The conversations are very mundane and I am always the one who initiates.
I feel so much more at home with the American culture than I do back in India. My ideal spouse is no where close to what my Mom expects. I plan to have my family brought up in a Catholic lifestyle. However, I am not planning on having my kids learn Malayalam and go to a Malankara rite church. I would rather have them appreciate Catholicism through the Latin rite and make their own decisions as far as what relationships to keep.
How do I fulfill the duties of honoring my parents while not compromising with my standards?
I am putting this on the forum in order to get some opinions because I expect some individuals to be going through the same situation.
Thank you for reading this far and God bless you!

 

[1ke]

How do I fulfill the duties of honoring my parents while not compromising with my standards?

By realizing that honoring your parents does not mean doing what they tell you to do.

I suggest reading the catechism section on the 4th commandment, as it may help you. The Church does not teach that you must “honor” your parents by letting them run your life, pick your spouse, etc.

 

[Xantippe]

iamtrying said:

“However, my mother is very devout about holding onto relationships and she expects me to still continue keeping up with relatives. Most of the relatives are still living in India and they do not take an interest in my life. The conversations are very mundane and I am always the one who initiates.”

That’s OK. I would stick to exchanging greetings on important holidays. If your mom thinks you should do more, feel free to tell her, “If Auntie Suzie wants to talk to me, she’ll contact me.”

Please bear in mind that while it sounds like your current friendship group is excellent, things will unavoidably change as the years go by. All through life, you’ll have to keep making friends with each move and change in phase of life.