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Blenderx
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What you’re feeling might not even have anything to do with the item. You’ve heard of the dark nights of the soul? When a soul enters a dark night (I expect yours would be the dark night of the senses), it can be cause for confusion and even despair if you don’t realize what’s happening or why. There are times when God wishes to purify our love and advance us in the spiritual life, and He frequently does so by withdrawing Himself and His consolations from us sensibly. He hides His face from our awareness, and everything might seem to be darkness and emptiness when we go to look for Him in the ways we were accustomed to, but you can be sure He is in the depths of our soul conversing with us in the most intimate way. Because God and holiness does not consist in our feelings or even our awareness, you see? He is spirit and we must converse with Him ‘in spirit and in truth’ as the Apostle says. This is the next level and we have to pass through it in order to experience even greater delights than those that came before. Now there are saints who spent many years in this (Mother Teresa, St. Therese of Lisieux, etc.) but there’s no doubt that God was with them and that they were very holy.