Custody of the eyes

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Exoplanets

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How do I go about doing this. It’s becoming something that I need to fix. I sometime find myself looking at women in that way. Anyway to fix this?
 
I don’t look at women unless I’m talking to them. Otherwise I just look at my phone or look the other way so that way I can respect them. But I’m not really social with women so idk
 
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When you catch yourself doing it, stop looking at the woman. Would you want someone looking at your sister or cousin, or mother that way? Remember that when you find yourself thinking that way.
 
Good suggestion. Remember too though Irishmom [you know I love you!] that men are visual. I know woman must hate to hear that, but it is true.

OP, there are a multitude of different things you can do to address this, but address it you must. I do everything from slapping myself on the leg, saying out loud to myself “STOP IT!” Praying a hale Mary, and on and on. I mix it up to keep it fresh and effective. We DO have to recognize that the fairer sex are indeed not sex objects, they are human beings, and the seat of life. Think about our Lady who walked the face of the earth, mother of God.
 
Love the answers all of you. Thanks!!! But I ahve a few more questions, if you like someone, you know for a long is time, is it harder to control this? If so then how can it be done?
 
I’m not following. Is there are reason you need to fix it? Are you single? Is she? Would there be any other reason why looking at her would be inappropriate or immoral?

There are respectful and disrespectful ways to go about treating an attractive woman, (or any woman). But I can’t say that it’s out-and-out wrong 100% of the time. Flirtations and, yes, marriages begin with these furtive glances.
 
Yes I and she are both single. I’m 15 years old and have a scrupulous mind. I want to make sure I’m not doing anything immoral.
 
Looking in and of itself isn’t a sin. It only becomes a sin if you’re having inappropriate thoughts about her.

Is she someone you could get to know?

Anyone struggling with scruples should go straight to a priest without passing GO or collecting $200. (Do 15-year-olds even play that game anymore? 🤑 Yea, I’m old . . . )
 
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Ha ha, ok thank you!! And yes I hope I do get to know her.(blush):grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
 
Demystify her. Get to know the human , not the Ideal. Make small talk. Ask questions about an assignment. Hang out with her in a less threatening group setting. If she has a geek-streak, strike up card games after lunch.

I’m actually not good with giving advice to teens about a social life because I was always so terrible at it, lol! 🤓 But socialize as a healthy, functioning 15-year-old would do.

Weirdly, I remember losing my crush on people after getting to know them. There can be a vast gully of difference between the actual person and the person you’ve built up in your head. It reminds me of a scene from Portlandia . . . (Don’t worry - you won’t have to go to confession for watching this). 😉

 
Exoplanets said:
How do I go about doing this. It’s becoming something that I need to fix. I sometime find myself looking at women in that way. Anyway to fix this?
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This is a lot easier to appreciate if you’re ever cursed with a situation where a creepy coworker doesn’t seem capable of keeping her eyes off of you. It’s physically uncomfortable and irritating.

Make your motivations anchored in love rather than so much anchored in a negative. i.e. "I will respect all women" rather than "I will not ogle women". There are reasons why as Christians we behave in certain ways and every behavior is motivated by love and for love. Pray on a daily basis for people who have been wounded or abused by the sexual revolution: people that have been harassed or betrayed or raped, and people who have suffered from divorce or neglect or being used. Pray for people attached to impurity that they will become free and learn what life is really about.

Peace.
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
I don’t look at women unless I’m talking to them. Otherwise I just look at my phone or look the other way so that way I can respect them.
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I’m not sure that you realise this, but you are actually treating women as sexual objects by the very fact that you are avoiding looking at them. That is in itself being disrespectful.

You might need to talk to someone about this. And not random forum members like me.
 
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I think what he is saying is that it is really not normal to not be able to look at women innocently and have to turn away from them all the time.

There is a happy medium between viewing women as objects of lust and not being able to view them at all because you have those thoughts. You seem to be saying you are in the later group because you look at your phone or look away. That’s not really how it should be.
 
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