Cute / Hot / Beautiful dilemma

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RockAndHoops

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Hey guys and gals,

About 2 years ago I had a discussion with some fellow students and adults at the lunch table in college about words used to compliment others on physical beauty. My problem with it was that I’ve heard “hot” used so many times to describe people’s beauty, but our consensus at the table was that “hot” often carries the baggage of sexual promiscuity with it and is often just based on sexual thoughts, so it tends to be offensive. However, magazines, tv, etc. all tend to use this word to no end, and everyone seems to want to look “hot”. Since that discussion I’ve not described anyone with that word, and I don’t like using it; I feel like if I did I wouldn’t capture the real thing I’m trying to describe (beauty) and I wouldn’t be respecting women.

So do you think it’s right or wrong to use “hot” when describing physical beauty? Particularly for women, do you feel more respected when a guy doesn’t use that word?

God bless,
RockAndHoops
 
I think the word “hot” does contain some degree of sexual suggestion, and therefore is not appropriate to use in these situations. Use other words like “pretty,” “beautiful,” etc. instead.
 
From what I can tell, Paris Hilton uses the word “hot” to describe nearly everything, and we all know what kind of person she is.

Most of us are capable of a much more refined and varied vocabulary. And while many women take offense to being described as “hot” (myself included), I doubt there is any woman on the planet who would take offense to being called “beautiful”.
 
I see hot as meaning someone is sexually appealing. Not necessarily an insult but the way it is often used carries the suggestion of lust which is not ok. I would take it as a compliment if I were discribed that way by someone other than my husband, but I think I’d go find something else to wear 😉
 
I agree. Hot conveys a very sexual meaning. That’s what most guys (including myself) mean by the word. Is it wrong to say it? I think no, especially if the meaning is not meant in sexual context (which is rare, but still existent). I also think that a wider vocabulary would help any guy compliment a lady. Perhaps beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, or breath-taking would be better words to use.
 
Thanks for the replies. In case you’re wondering, the 3 main words were chosen because those were the ones we hear most frequently, and the discussion at college originated as a result of what people mean when they describe people with words, i.e. there seems to be an inherent rating system underlying our word choice. But that’s getting a little more technical/cognitive than I’d like to on this thread!
 
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trumpet152:
I agree. Hot conveys a very sexual meaning. That’s what most guys (including myself) mean by the word. Is it wrong to say it? I think no, especially if the meaning is not meant in sexual context (which is rare, but still existent). I also think that a wider vocabulary would help any guy compliment a lady. Perhaps beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, or breath-taking would be better words to use.
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The term “hot” definitely involves sexuality; when female animals are sexually receptive it is said that they are “in heat.”

One young lady who was a pacifist objected to my description of her has “stunning” because of its violent overtones.

A handy thesaurus suggests “pretty, handsome, good-looking, lovely, gorgeous, comely, seemly, pleasing, enjoyable, captivating” as synonyms for “beautiful”–although obviously these do not all apply to women.
  • Liberian
 
I don’t feel comfortable using the word “hot” even though sometimes it does slip when talking about tv actresses and such, I will admit. But even then, I feel like I have robbed some respect from the person I am describing. I do think that other words can be used instead of “hot” to give more respect (cuz they deserve it:) )…and I don’t know (cuz I am not a girl) but…I think just maybe it is more refreshing for the Christian girls out there to hear other words than “hot” from Christian guys. I get the feeling that it would be really neat for them to see the Christian guys making an outward statement that “we don’t want to be like most of the scummy guys out there”…just a thought:)
 
I say that “so and so” or “such and such” is hot entirely too much, but I say it for so many different things. It can be me describing a person’s looks or just saying something is cool or funny. When saying it about a person I usually mean it in a sexual kind of way…well, at least I admit it.
 
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Madaglan:
I think the word “hot” does contain some degree of sexual suggestion, and therefore is not appropriate to use in these situations. Use other words like “pretty,” “beautiful,” etc. instead.
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I’d say “hot” has a very short expiration date while pretty, cute and beautiful don’t.
I’m in my 40s but a lot of my co-workers are college age. Among the guys I’d say a “hot” girl is one they want to “get” (but not stay with) even while complaining that hot girls’ personalities are nasty, they’re stuck up, &c., &c.
 
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RockAndHoops:
Hey guys and gals,

About 2 years ago I had a discussion with some fellow students and adults at the lunch table in college about words used to compliment others on physical beauty. My problem with it was that I’ve heard “hot” used so many times to describe people’s beauty, but our consensus at the table was that “hot” often carries the baggage of sexual promiscuity with it and is often just based on sexual thoughts, so it tends to be offensive. However, magazines, tv, etc. all tend to use this word to no end, and everyone seems to want to look “hot”. Since that discussion I’ve not described anyone with that word, and I don’t like using it; I feel like if I did I wouldn’t capture the real thing I’m trying to describe (beauty) and I wouldn’t be respecting women.

So do you think it’s right or wrong to use “hot” when describing physical beauty? Particularly for women, do you feel more respected when a guy doesn’t use that word?

God bless,
RockAndHoops
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I believe that Desmond Morris’ analysis of human sexual characteristics in Naked Ape is essentially correct, and that it is God’s intention that human sexual characteristics trigger sexual thoughts in a leering member of the opposite sex.

I believe that unattached young women don’t have to dress in loosely-hanging burlap bags, and are permitted by God to dress in a way that draws some attention to their erogenous zones. I believe that unattached young men don’t have to avert their eyes from women “dressed to kill” – God intends that their “sexual eye” be drawn to good-looking women.

However, it is the job of attached girls to dress less-provocatively, and the job of attached men to avert their sexual gaze from provocatively-dressed women.

The words “I do” are the border line.

So, “hot” is okay for the unattached.
 
true “hot” does not describe beauty, but personal temerature (i.e.- lust).

I spent all summer “hot”, temps here above 75 degrees( usually in the 90’s)
 
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didymus:
I’d say “hot” has a very short expiration date while pretty, cute and beautiful don’t.
I’m in my 40s but a lot of my co-workers are college age. Among the guys I’d say a “hot” girl is one they want to “get” (but not stay with) even while complaining that hot girls’ personalities are nasty, they’re stuck up, &c., &c.
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I am a young guy and I try to be a faithful Catholic but when I say a girl is hot that does not mean I want to “get but not stay with”. When I say a girl is hot, I mean that she is beautiful, attractive, and even sexually attractive. That does not mean I am lusting after her or entertaining impure thoughts. It simply means that she physically desireable.
 
Personally, as a young woman, I would rather hear someone describe me as beautiful than as cute or hot. I’d rather be described as cute than as hot.
 
Grace and Glory:
Personally, as a young woman, I would rather hear someone describe me as beautiful than as cute or hot. I’d rather be described as cute than as hot.
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me too
 
Having had 3 kids, I’d be thrilled to hear someone say “she’s still hot” without suggesting it had anything to do with menopause!! 😃
 
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Liberian:
One young lady who was a pacifist objected to my description of her has “stunning” because of its violent overtones.
  • Liberian
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Nothing against the obviously strong convictions of this young woman, but that is the funniest thing I’ve heard today.
 
I’ve gotten to the point anymore where I can’t stand to hear myself use hot to describe someone. I’ll be talking about one of my good friends and someone will say “Is she hot?” This is quite possibly the most obnoxious thing I can hear about someone whom I am quite protective of and quite caring of. I have a lot of female friends and it pains me to hear people so crassly ask me this. When someone does, I reply: “I do not choose to think in terms such as that, as it is not polite in the slightest.” I realize I may sound as if I’m taking on a holier-than-thou attitude, but I have some very close friends whom I am very protective of and do not care to hear this question about someone that the person I am talking to has never met before!!

-ACEGC
 
Kristina P.:
Nothing against the obviously strong convictions of this young woman, but that is the funniest thing I’ve heard today.
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Kristina,

Glad you see the humor in it. It is, actually, quite funny, but to an eighteen-year-old boy who is struggling with his vocabulary–to say nothing of how to behave around ladies–it was more dismaying than anything else. She was a fine lady, too, and wherever she is I wish her well.
  • Liberian
 
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