Cute Priest

[keri6789]

This is kinda embarrassing Is it wrong that I think one of the priest-in-training at my parish is cute? He is currently going to school to be a priest. He is around my age and well, I think he is very attractive! I know that nothing could ever happen and nor would I want it to since he is called to be a priest. I feel kinda bad for thinking he is cute. I saw him in normal type clothes a few Sundays back and thought he was really cute…and then this past Sunday he had on the (I’m a new Catholic so I don’t know what this is called) black dress thing with the white collar. I asked my RCIA sponsor from last year who he was and she told me about him and how he had the calling to the priesthood. This is so embarrassing to talk about…If it was a normal guy not a priest I wouldn’t feel bad…Is this something that I need to confess? I’m not having lust type feelings just the “I think he is cute” feelings…Is this normal?

 

[JohnnyReb]

I wish I could help you more because I am not Catholic (yet).

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, but would take note of your feelings so that it does not become lust, and pray that your heart would be protected against lust. Lustful feelings would be a sin regardless of who the guy was. But thinking a guy is cute is normal. Assuming he’s taken a vow of celebacy, he’s off limits though.

Those more knowledgable may correct me if I am wrong

 

[Genesis315]

Nothing wrong with it–it’s a natural response we have built in to our biology. But, we are also blessed with self-control. So, if you should not act flirty with him or anything like that–if you think you will be too tempted, don’t get too close or personal with him.

 

[chris_molter]

You pretty much nailed it, JohnnyReb!

BTW, it’s called a “cassock”, keri.

 

[Genesis315]

Oh, and by the way, the “black dress” is a cassock

 

[DAWNCUROLE]

There is nothing wrong with seeing anyone as attractive or cute. Sin comes in when we lust or act in a way which does not show respect for you or that person. BTW congratualtions on becoming Catholic.

 

[chicago]

It’s not at all unusual to hear women talk about the “cute priest” or “handsome priest” at their parish. It’s perfectly normal to recognize the human characteristics of a person. Priests are, afterall, human too!

 

[lizaanne]

I’ve known a few incredibly good looking priests - I know a good looking man when I see one, regardless of his calling! But the most I would EVER do is blush when I see them - the idea of taking thoughts beyond that is just disturbing to me. I could never do that. But getting a little school girl flustered is never out of the question.

So - I think you are pretty normal.

~Liza

 

[Sarabande]

It’s natural to think someone is cute. I’ve also known some really attractive priests and seminarians. Since I work at our Cathedral the seminarians are there often for special events and there are a lot of really “cute” ones. But I’ve never had any lustful thoughts after them. I just think they are “cute” and nice. We once had a young, single female choir member who didn’t know that the young new seminarians dressed in suits were seminarians. They apparently were all in the chapel getting ready for the mass and she had to go through there to get to the Cathedral choir loft. She said her jaw dropped to see so many attractive young men for mass and when she found out there were seminarians, felt a little embarrassed about it. It’s normal.

Having worked in a couple of parishes, though, you do get to know what some people call the “collar chasers” - women who develop an unhealthy attraction or obsession towards attractive priests. It is a bit disturbing to see that happening and I know the priest or the seminarian has to feel uncomfortable whenever he runs into a collar chaser. Other than that, if you just think the priest is cute and have no other thoughts about him other than that, that is totally normal.

 

[Unfinished]

It is normal to feel that way. Ever since I got accepted to seminary my friends who are girls started calling me “Father What-a-waste.”

My other friend talks about how she has a “priest crush” on one of the priests. It made me laugh.

Just don’t let it turn into lust or a desire to actually date him or be with him.

 

[Unfinished]

Having worked in a couple of parishes, though, you do get to know what some people call the “collar chasers” - women who develop an unhealthy attraction or obsession towards attractive priests.

We call them Chalice Chippers.

 

[AngelicDoctor]

When faced with a mild infatuation (too strong a word?) or feelings of attraction, you can try what I, as a celibate man, do when I see a beautiful woman. [because, just like a woman is off-limits to a celibate man, this seminarian is “off limits” to you]:

Prayerfully praise God for the beauty and attraction of his creation (ever notice how prayerful people are often more attractive?) and for the gift of sexuality, and remember to pray for that person, and see them as a (spiritual) brother or sister (this keeps you from seeing them as an object… which could lead to lust; it also leads you to the disposition of praying that they have all that God desires for them rather than thinking about yourself and your needs–ie, this person is attractive to me). Does that make sense?

As a celibate, this is a better approach than trying to suppress or ignore the fact that you are a normal person with physical attraction. The situation that you describe is completely normal. It could only become abnormal and sinful if you began to think only of yourself and enter into a relationship where the healthy borders were crossed.

 

[Vittorio23]

When faced with a mild infatuation (too strong a word?) or feelings of attraction, you can try what I, as a celibate man, do when I see a beautiful woman. [because, just like a woman is off-limits to a celibate man, this seminarian is “off limits” to you]:

Prayerfully praise God for the beauty and attraction of his creation (ever notice how prayerful people are often more attractive?) and for the gift of sexuality, and remember to pray for that person, and see them as a (spiritual) brother or sister (this keeps you from seeing them as an object… which could lead to lust; it also leads you to the disposition of praying that they have all that God desires for them rather than thinking about yourself and your needs–ie, this person is attractive to me). Does that make sense?

As a celibate, this is a better approach than trying to suppress or ignore the fact that you are a normal person with physical attraction. The situation that you describe is completely normal. It could only become abnormal and sinful if you began to think only of yourself and enter into a relationship where the healthy borders were crossed.

Very, very insightful post. Thank you!

 

[Mt_28_19_20]

This is kinda embarrassing Is it wrong that I think one of the priest-in-training at my parish is cute? He is currently going to school to be a priest. He is around my age and well, I think he is very attractive! I know that nothing could ever happen and nor would I want it to since he is called to be a priest. I feel kinda bad for thinking he is cute. I saw him in normal type clothes a few Sundays back and thought he was really cute…and then this past Sunday he had on the (I’m a new Catholic so I don’t know what this is called) black dress thing with the white collar. I asked my RCIA sponsor from last year who he was and she told me about him and how he had the calling to the priesthood. This is so embarrassing to talk about…If it was a normal guy not a priest I wouldn’t feel bad…Is this something that I need to confess? I’m not having lust type feelings just the “I think he is cute” feelings…Is this normal?

Others have posted a lot of good advice here. Guarding against lust or inappropriate behavior is good for both you and the person you find “cute”.

That said, potential seminary candidates are often encouraged to give seminary a try to see if they have a calling, so not all are convinced when they go that they are going to stay. If I remember correctly, it is not until they become deacons after three years of seminary, that they vow celibacy, or it might be when they graduate as priests. Someone correct me if this is not accurate.

I became friends with a four of the seminarians at St Charles in Philadelphia though Bible studies and an apologetics project. One is a priest now for about two years, one left and was married within a year and works for the Archdiocese, one left and was married about a year later and continued studies in theology, and another left for another seminary and when I spoke with him about two months ago, he was thinking about joining an order.

That said, be careful about being interested in someone who believes that renouncing marriage is God’s will for their life and will lead them closer to God and make them a more faithful servant. There are many Catholic men who are devoted to God and honor the responsibilities of dating and marriage, so why be interested in someone who sees renouncing marriage as their calling?

Michael

 

[Cloisters]

Lust and infatuation will lead one to make mistakes–and quite possibly deadly ones.

As St. Alphonsus Liguori said, “Your next mortal sin may be your last.”

Please take that as a warning, and not as a prophesy.

I know what you’re talking about with cute priests, as I’ve been there before–as a stupid teenager. Such a situation can become complex.

Someone here said that prayerful people are attractive. One reason for that is because our own relationship with God is not what it should be, and God is calling to us through that prayerful person’s example to become more prayerful ourselves.

However, our oversexed society turns everything, and I mean just about everything, sexual, and we really have to pay attention to the Gospel to not think that way.

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O God,” said the great penitent, St. Augustine.

The poster who said something about thanking God for the person’s attractiveness and the gifts given to that person made me think of the following: God is beauty. Whenever we are moved by something/someone’s beauty, we are to have our thoughts lifted to God. He is inviting us to a prayerful interlude with Himself. We aren’t supposed to get stuck on the “messenger.”

That being said, I wish to share with you an incident from my personal life. I was abused as a child by a man who greatly resembles singer Andy Williams. Every time one of Andy’s songs came on the radio, I cringed, until one day, I heard the voice of God within say something to the effect that I should thank Him for the gifts given to Andy. From that point on, after I did that, I could not equate Andy with my perp.

We have a lot of good-looking seminarians now, so we should try to be the most upstanding Christian women we can be. Dress modestly, even going so far as to wear some kind of head covering, both at Mass and in other places (according to Second Corinthians). Our Lady of Fatima talked about attention to Daily Duty. This is another form of what St. Augustine said, “Love God, and do what you will.” If we do that, then we’ll be too busy to sin.

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[Contarini]

This is kinda embarrassing Is it wrong that I think one of the priest-in-training at my parish is cute? He is currently going to school to be a priest. He is around my age and well, I think he is very attractive! I know that nothing could ever happen and nor would I want it to since he is called to be a priest. I feel kinda bad for thinking he is cute. I saw him in normal type clothes a few Sundays back and thought he was really cute…and then this past Sunday he had on the (I’m a new Catholic so I don’t know what this is called) black dress thing with the white collar. I asked my RCIA sponsor from last year who he was and she told me about him and how he had the calling to the priesthood. This is so embarrassing to talk about…If it was a normal guy not a priest I wouldn’t feel bad…Is this something that I need to confess? I’m not having lust type feelings just the “I think he is cute” feelings…Is this normal?

Isn’t it basically the same thing as thinking a married person is cute (or that anyone is cute when one is married)? One can’t help recognizing cuteness when one sees it, but one can resist the desires that might naturally arise from that recognition.

Edwin

 

[Mt_28_19_20]

Isn’t it basically the same thing as thinking a married person is cute (or that anyone is cute when one is married)? One can’t help recognizing cuteness when one sees it, but one can resist the desires that might naturally arise from that recognition.

Edwin

If they have indeed taken a vow of celibacy then yes, it would be basically the same thing as not respecting a person’s or a married couple’s vow. If the seminarian has not yet decided for certain or professed the vow, then they are still a single person who as not taken a vow, and the same respect and decency should be extended as is proper in Christian relationships and friendships.

Michael

 

[shubr0om]

u can say handsome. that’s pretty normal. we just can’t think lustful about them. im sure everyone has those feelings.